It's Getting Gold in Here

Since Karly's gone, I thought I would do my best to gold up this hizzy in her honor. Goldeness may be next to Godliness because it's all about surface, so it only take a cheapo can of spray paint to turn even the most ordinary object into something that looks expensive and klassy. If the recession depression is getting you down, hustle out and spend $5 to give something the Midas touch. You know it's going to make you feel better. I'm here to help you pull the paint trigger with some scintillating finds that are designed to bring the bling back into your life.

Zany Dutchman Marcel Wanders contradicts the age old aphorism that, "You can't polish a turd." Well, apparently you can!

Richard Powers

Boyfriend's big black speakers getting you down? Surely he wouldn't mind a bit if you got after those nasty cases with some super shiny lussssster. Tip: wait until he goes out on a late night bar crawl to transform his AV equipment. Men can get a little touchy about their electronics, so best to let him booze it up a little. High Five sure to follow!

Once your golden piece de resistance is finis, you may want to protect it from his angry adoring clutches with a fabulous fence. Demakersvan makes gorgeously crocheted fences out of plastic coated wire in a variety of designs, including this golden girl.

While you've got the paint out, why not take a cue from these guerrilla artists and put gold back on the streets. Oh, and please start at Wall Street...

Because we surely need some gold back in our banks! This gold painted ATM is probably worth more than the "money" inside it.

Speaking of gluttony and financial ruin, Studio Job has got those bank bitches' number with their piece, Robber Baron. Holy crackatoly, do you see the tiny guns, atomic stars, airplanes, and other symbols of technology gone horribly awry? I desperately need this as a coffee table. Since this piece costs more than a bank (which isn't that hard these days), I'll be busy trying to figure out how I'm going to make this myself.

Per Ranung

While I try to reinvent the wheel, I think anyone could handle this as an at home project: whip out the paint can to emphasize va-va-volume in sculptures. Glossy surfaces always look rounder than matte ones. Let the model instruct you on how best to apply this rule to your fashion decisions.

If you accidentally get some paint on the floor, don't worry! Just go ahead and spread it everywhere. If Dolce and Gabbana can have a solid gold bedroom, so can you.

Perhaps you'd prefer something more precious and smaller in scale, like these rings from jewelry designer Gisele Ganne's Divorce series. Just slip on these gold knuckles and leave a lasting impression on your significant ex's face.

I also love that Ricochet Studio isn't afraid to take a golden shower. I really covet Accident for my little boy's nursery because -- as the designers themselves acknowledge -- it happens.

Ricochet makes all kinds of oddly twisted ceramics with a golden flourish, like this Urn with an intestinal interior. Love these guys. Found via Sara Says Awesome's quirky blog.

For fine details like those on the Ricochet pieces, may I recommend you dispense with the spray paint and switch to Rub 'N' Buff, the most amazing product in the universe. No, I do not get paid to advertise their wares, but I should (wink) because I have covered everything from frames and knobs to thrift store junque to all manner of TJ Maxx and Ross' craptacular "goods" with the Buffer. You will be amazed at how much a tiny tube will cover.

Like, I'm pretty sure the artist responsible for this travesty could have saved himself a whole lot of money:

Yes, Mark Quinn's solid gold Kate Moss statue has an estimated worth of $10 million pounds. It probably would have cost less to buy Miss Moss herself and coat her and her naughty bits in Rub 'N' Buff. After all, odds are that it would only take one tube to do the whole job.

Red Hots

It's that Hallmark time of year again, time for a heart shaped box of cheap Russel Stover candies and a bouquet of overplayed red roses, perhaps even a stuffed teddy bear if Cupid has really shot your significant other square in the ass. I have to admit I sort of like the cheesiness and predictability of Valentine's Day. It's kind of a comforting ritual that celebrates the icky schmaltziness of luuuuuuv. So I'm here to help you get into the mood with a post on red interiors of varying intensity, from full on hotness to a little dab will do you. Crank up the Barry White and let's get sexy with it.

Steve Giralt

There is a very naughty joke somewhere in here, but I'm going to restrain myself. You, however, are free to play, "Title That Picture" in the comments section.

Light Locations

Alexander Van Berge

Roger Davies

Edina Van Der Wyck

Steve Giralt

Richard Powers

M Design Interiors

Tom Clinch

Uli Schade

Nicolas Matheus

Per Ranung

Rebecca Duke

Edina Van Der Wyck

Desire to Inspire

Light Locations

If the Lampshade Fits

Desire to Inspire

Redmodelista

Light Locations

Edina Van Der Wyck

Whew! Did you see how many pictures and links were in that post?! So, don't go expecting me to write something witty under each picture. But I will say that: 1) Fuchsia and red is a hot color combination 2) The Poltergeist Mirror in the black walled picture from Light Locations is trying to eat my soul 3) A little touch of red in a room adds polish, but too much red veers towards the Redrum end of the spectrum.

Ellmania

What are you peeps still doing here? Step out and get your groove on!

Nothing Exceeds Like Excess

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday break filled with family, food, spirits, and more food. The new year is coming -- and with it the urge to purge -- but it's not over until the fat lady bursts, which is scheduled to occur sometime around midnight on December 31st, 2008. So until then, let's continue to eat, drink and be fabulously merry, shall we? A tour of some famous fashion designers' private homes ought to keep the momentum going because, as the great poet William Blake said, "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom; for we never know what is enough until we know what is more than enough." Let's head toward the palace of wisdom by starting out with a tour of the Pucci ancestral home, owned by the family since the Renaissance. Because, that much history is definitely excessive.

Oh, you know, it's just a room full of 18th century plasters arranged around an antique marble sculpture of the goddess Diana. Nothing special.

I know Karly wants that gilt wood console table, and the ornate draperies made at the Pucci's centuries old silk workshop are fit for a king, although I wish they were psychedelic Pucci print. Then they would be fit for me.

They had me at fresco. Add in some bespoke 18th century crystal glassware, and I'm sold. I just hope these fools never invite me to dinner while the good china is out, as I'm prone to break the pricey stuff, although paper plates and Ikea stoneware are always safe with me. Even my subconscious behavioral tendencies have expensive taste.

I'm sure the 17th century bed and its linens are machine washable.

Now that view of the Duomo from the Palazzo window is just over the top, people. Seriously, could you take it down a notch or a million? Pricelessness is so gaudy.

For a contemporary "more is more" aesthetic, check out Dolce and Gabbana's shiny gilded modern Liberacesque love pad, gorgeously photographed by Rebecca Duke.

Yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus. And he can fit a solid gold bedroom in his knapsack.

Oh, yes they did. If that's not excessive, I don't know what is.

Although a million pillows covered in matching Steven Tyler heads comes close. Ok, savvy readers, whose head is on those pillows? I'm sure that one of our fashion conscious brethren can unearth the answer. Whoever it is, the overall effect is awesomely creepy.

You ain't got a thing, if you ain't got that bling. Black + gold/crystal  = high quotient of lustification.

What the Pucci curtains should have looked like.

Moving on, I found the ultra modern Florence home of Roberto Cavalli to be equally excessive in its own, special way. Pictures courtesy of Home Design Find.

What's that, you say? How is this home ridiculously excessive? Yes, it's pink, but is it really comparable to an entire room encrusted with zebra hides? Friends, Cavalli's home designed by Italo Rota CHANGES COLOR on a whim. And I'd guess that Roberto might be a twee bit whimsical...

It's like the Epcot Center on acid. Dude, it IS a small word, after all!

It's also kind of like a modern update of the hall of mirrors at the Palace of Versailles. I'm not going to lie. I'm ready to pack my bags and move to Florence.

I'm a bit concerned about the bathrooms, though. I'm not convinced that the lighting is the least bit flattering. Plus it needs more gold in there. And maybe a disco ball. That's a pretty big dance floor Roberto's got going on.

Finally, the late, great Yves Saint Laurent may not have had an ancestral home since the days of the Renaissance (he wasn't that old, you know), but he certainly found a way to trick out his Paris apartment in a princely fashion.

He just filled it with with treasures a museum would die for, including a 15th century tapestry, a Theodore Gericault painting and a Juan Gris painting, worth $5 to $6 million each. Hold on, though -- you ain't seen nothing yet.

Oh, that's just a little Francisco Goya on the easel, and a wee Giorgio de Chirico on the wall.

Or perhaps you'd fancy a 20's Eileen Gray dragon chair. It's worth about $5 million, so don't let the kids jump on it. Actually, keep the rugrats out of the salon, entirely, because you wouldn't want them to chip the wooden Brancusi sculpture, smudge the Picasso painting in the background, breathe on the Cezanne watercolor, or muss the Fernand Leger painting. Any incidents could set you back $50 million -- the estimated worth of the contents of THIS ROOM ALONE.

Laurent also owned a crazy ovoid metal bar designed by recently deceased, zany mastermind Francois Xavier Lalanne. Oh, and that's a Mondrian in the background. No biggie.

Lalanne's wife, Claude, designed the wall of mirrors in the background of the music room, which also features a terracotta sculpture from 1707 and an Eileen Gray chest with an estimated value of $3.8 - $6.4 million buckaroos. Note to self: invest in anything Eileen Gray made except for that douchey table that everyone and their mother has knocked off/re licensed.

Finally, the man himself, Yves Saint Laurent (circa 1980), would like to wish you all a fantastic New Year. With any luck, this post finds you healthy, not too unwealthy, and a little bit wiser from all our indulgent excesses. And here's to hoping that we all look as natty whilst casually leaning against our Egyptian sarcophogi. Monsieur Laurent wouldn't have it any other way.