Live Large Like Louis

Friends, has the recession got you down? I know you're bummed to no longer have a bundle of Gs just laying around for that newest set of Louis Vuitton trunks you planned to scatter artfully throughout your home in an oh so status conscious gesture that screams, "I have money to burn, bitches!"

Tommy Hilfiger via Fashionphile

Kanye West

House Beautiful via Margaret Long

So what's a label whore* to do when the economy declares most emphatically that there shall be no more excessive spending?

*Not that I'm judging, since momma wouldn't turn down a free LV bag. Hint, hint sponsors...

Well, you could bring some curb appeal to your real estate and watch the value skyrocket:

The window bars really ratchet the klass factor up a notch or 20, don't you think? Via

Of course in a house so special and ah, unique, one can't be expected to live a common, pedestrian existence, can one? One must extend one's special uniqueness to all aspects of one's daily life.

Really, how could one be expected to use a common Hefty trashbag? That would be wimpy wimpy wimpy. Via

Or have a common pet, for that matter? I think this pig would really say, "I like money, but I'm not afraid to get my hands entire body dirty."

I'm not sure brown is the best color in this context. Via

Now this is what I'm talking about! I'm not even kidding. I never wanted to drive a Cutlass Sierra until now, but I neeeed that car. Hopefully the man doing sexy pose on it is not included because he's covering up my paint job. Maybe they make Louis Vuitton camouflage? That would totally appeal to hunters everywhere, I'm sure.

When Pigs Fly

Are you pissed these days? Well, I'm totally teed off. Who do those AIG mofos think they are, spending all my (our) money money on fancy getaways and million dollar bonuses? Hell to the no. I really think The Beatles said it best:

Have you seen the little piggies Crawling in the dirt And for all the little piggies Life is getting worse Always having dirt to play around in.

Have you seen the bigger piggies In their starched white shirts You will find the bigger piggies Stirring up the dirt Always have clean shirts to play around in.

In their sties with all their backing They don't care what goes on around In their eyes there's something lacking What they need's a damn good whacking.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies Living piggy lives You can see them out for dinner With their piggy wives Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

In the interest of keeping this post design related, I'd like to point out a new trend, possibly influenced by the overwhelming greed exhibited by jerks like these: Pigs.

I think Hannes Grebin is on to something here with his piggy bank, Fat Rosie. She does look a lot like former AIG exec Martin Sullivan, pictured right above her.

Tim Flach Photography

But really, I hate for all pigs to get a bad rap just because some A-holes are methodically destroying our entire economy for their own self interests.

It's ok to like this adorable silver pig clutch by Etsy seller, Tsurubride. It's cute. Perhaps some of that bailout money should go towards purchasing it for me... Would that make me a piggy, too?

And then there's my favorite Piggy Bank -- cast from a real pig that died a natural death -- by Harry Allen, available at Design Public. Oh, I just want to hug him, and squeeze him, and name him Martin. Or Hank. Or Edward. Really any of the AIG guys will do as a namesake.

Send a clear message that gluttony and greed are in fashion with this Oink Pillow from Etsy seller, Bumblejellydesigns.

Or you could really get into the piggish mindset with this Hair Hat from dearly departed designer, Nagi Noda.

While some little piggies may have gone to market, this little piggy stayed home. The Hey-Sign Felt Rug is available in a few different shapes, but I am digging Le Cochon the best.

Perhaps it would be nice to make the piggies fetch and carry for a change. The Pig Table by Front Designs would be happy to hold your watered down well cocktail or light as a feather wallet for you.

Catherine Ledner's idea of barnyard fun is pink and frilly with flowers on top. Who says that pigs is dirty animals?

Meanwhile, Belgian artist Wim Delvoye has some decidedly less orthodox ideas about how to treat pigskin. Harbinger of things to come for scam artist cum jailbirds like Bernie Madoff? Let's hope the AIG swine head in the same direction.

Thanks for letting me vent, friendsies. I'm going to leave you with one tiny parting shot, courtesy of Pan-Dan. It's so good that I'm just going to post the link right here.