When Pigs Fly

Are you pissed these days? Well, I'm totally teed off. Who do those AIG mofos think they are, spending all my (our) money money on fancy getaways and million dollar bonuses? Hell to the no. I really think The Beatles said it best:

Have you seen the little piggies Crawling in the dirt And for all the little piggies Life is getting worse Always having dirt to play around in.

Have you seen the bigger piggies In their starched white shirts You will find the bigger piggies Stirring up the dirt Always have clean shirts to play around in.

In their sties with all their backing They don't care what goes on around In their eyes there's something lacking What they need's a damn good whacking.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies Living piggy lives You can see them out for dinner With their piggy wives Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

In the interest of keeping this post design related, I'd like to point out a new trend, possibly influenced by the overwhelming greed exhibited by jerks like these: Pigs.

I think Hannes Grebin is on to something here with his piggy bank, Fat Rosie. She does look a lot like former AIG exec Martin Sullivan, pictured right above her.

Tim Flach Photography

But really, I hate for all pigs to get a bad rap just because some A-holes are methodically destroying our entire economy for their own self interests.

It's ok to like this adorable silver pig clutch by Etsy seller, Tsurubride. It's cute. Perhaps some of that bailout money should go towards purchasing it for me... Would that make me a piggy, too?

And then there's my favorite Piggy Bank -- cast from a real pig that died a natural death -- by Harry Allen, available at Design Public. Oh, I just want to hug him, and squeeze him, and name him Martin. Or Hank. Or Edward. Really any of the AIG guys will do as a namesake.

Send a clear message that gluttony and greed are in fashion with this Oink Pillow from Etsy seller, Bumblejellydesigns.

Or you could really get into the piggish mindset with this Hair Hat from dearly departed designer, Nagi Noda.

While some little piggies may have gone to market, this little piggy stayed home. The Hey-Sign Felt Rug is available in a few different shapes, but I am digging Le Cochon the best.

Perhaps it would be nice to make the piggies fetch and carry for a change. The Pig Table by Front Designs would be happy to hold your watered down well cocktail or light as a feather wallet for you.

Catherine Ledner's idea of barnyard fun is pink and frilly with flowers on top. Who says that pigs is dirty animals?

Meanwhile, Belgian artist Wim Delvoye has some decidedly less orthodox ideas about how to treat pigskin. Harbinger of things to come for scam artist cum jailbirds like Bernie Madoff? Let's hope the AIG swine head in the same direction.

Thanks for letting me vent, friendsies. I'm going to leave you with one tiny parting shot, courtesy of Pan-Dan. It's so good that I'm just going to post the link right here.

Impress Me

Why must there be a constant celebratory parade of birthdays and barbecues and fun all summer long? Obviously I'm incapable of self-regulation because here I am, after another evening of injudicious imbibery, feeling a little... lackluster this morning. So, now I have this pathetic need for entertainment -- I want to be dazzled -- and Good God, I don't want to think very hard. Thinking hurts. Here, neato fun table!

The tattooed Yakuza coffee table from Reddish, with its coyly unmarked "feet," definitely belongs in the home of an ink-stained scenester.

I need more crazy patterned goodness... but I am never one to be impressed by the mundane. Thank you, Front Designs, for catering to my hazy whims.

UV imprinted wallpaper, for commitment-phobes everywhere, shows its pattern only in sunlight. If only tattoos worked the same way! This reminds me of my husband's college apartment that revealed strange and intricate dayglo scribble-covered walls only when viewed under black lights, of which there were many. Needless to say we moved into my apartment, beautifully decorated (to my impoverished 18-year-old mind) with the obligatory iron-barred futon, giant tacky Chinese fans, and even gianter (but FREE) Beatles poster. I can still feel skeevy Ringo's eyes tracking my movements across the room. I'm so glad I don't live there anymore.

Moving on to more of Front's awesome offerings:

Wallpaper again, this time with a pattern formed by mouse nibbles -- the roll was scanned and inverted so only the indentations showed the pattern. Ouch! Too much thinking, but how cute is that little guy? My cat would love to meet him.

And yet another brain busting surface dreamed up by Front:

The pattern here was created by bugs that chewed tracks through the wood, leaving impressions (wink, wink! nudge, nudge!) of their ways and means. This one's kind of funny to me because I spent much of my time in Hawaii desperately fighting the bugs that did this very thing to my furniture, my photographic prints, and worst of all, my negatives. I'm about to scan those negs in right now and say I MEANT TO DO THAT. It's all about intent, right?

My last ditch effort to dazzle my poor tired swollen head:

Charred furniture from Maarten Baas's Smoke series bears all the marks of its time in fiery flames. Apparently Baas burns the pieces and yanks them before they crumble to the ground, but not before little bits are broken off and cracks form in the wood. This appeals to the erstwhile gothy side of me, the side that still gets really excited when Bela Lugosi's Dead surfaces from the depths of my shuffled itunes (which are mostly rap, if you must know. I have a weakness for dirty booty jamz).

Yes, that chair is hot, but its conception is even hotter:

Fire always cheers me up.