When Pigs Fly

Are you pissed these days? Well, I'm totally teed off. Who do those AIG mofos think they are, spending all my (our) money money on fancy getaways and million dollar bonuses? Hell to the no. I really think The Beatles said it best:

Have you seen the little piggies Crawling in the dirt And for all the little piggies Life is getting worse Always having dirt to play around in.

Have you seen the bigger piggies In their starched white shirts You will find the bigger piggies Stirring up the dirt Always have clean shirts to play around in.

In their sties with all their backing They don't care what goes on around In their eyes there's something lacking What they need's a damn good whacking.

Everywhere there's lots of piggies Living piggy lives You can see them out for dinner With their piggy wives Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

In the interest of keeping this post design related, I'd like to point out a new trend, possibly influenced by the overwhelming greed exhibited by jerks like these: Pigs.

I think Hannes Grebin is on to something here with his piggy bank, Fat Rosie. She does look a lot like former AIG exec Martin Sullivan, pictured right above her.

Tim Flach Photography

But really, I hate for all pigs to get a bad rap just because some A-holes are methodically destroying our entire economy for their own self interests.

It's ok to like this adorable silver pig clutch by Etsy seller, Tsurubride. It's cute. Perhaps some of that bailout money should go towards purchasing it for me... Would that make me a piggy, too?

And then there's my favorite Piggy Bank -- cast from a real pig that died a natural death -- by Harry Allen, available at Design Public. Oh, I just want to hug him, and squeeze him, and name him Martin. Or Hank. Or Edward. Really any of the AIG guys will do as a namesake.

Send a clear message that gluttony and greed are in fashion with this Oink Pillow from Etsy seller, Bumblejellydesigns.

Or you could really get into the piggish mindset with this Hair Hat from dearly departed designer, Nagi Noda.

While some little piggies may have gone to market, this little piggy stayed home. The Hey-Sign Felt Rug is available in a few different shapes, but I am digging Le Cochon the best.

Perhaps it would be nice to make the piggies fetch and carry for a change. The Pig Table by Front Designs would be happy to hold your watered down well cocktail or light as a feather wallet for you.

Catherine Ledner's idea of barnyard fun is pink and frilly with flowers on top. Who says that pigs is dirty animals?

Meanwhile, Belgian artist Wim Delvoye has some decidedly less orthodox ideas about how to treat pigskin. Harbinger of things to come for scam artist cum jailbirds like Bernie Madoff? Let's hope the AIG swine head in the same direction.

Thanks for letting me vent, friendsies. I'm going to leave you with one tiny parting shot, courtesy of Pan-Dan. It's so good that I'm just going to post the link right here.

The Great Escape

Have you been waking up to a gnawing feeling of despair in the pit of your stomach recently? A feeling that says something like, "Oh no! The economy! Oh no! Christmas! Oh no! Christmas and the economy!" Either Mr. Bill is living in your stomach or you've come to the same conclusion that most Americans have: Dudes, we are so screwed. People are so desperate to "save" money that they are shooting each other in Toys R Us and trampling underpaid Wal-Mart workers in the store. Is there any deal so great that it could possibly allay your growing suspicion that the Econolypse is nigh? Is there any bargain so stellar that it will magically balance your checkbook and make you think, "Wheeeeeee! I can't wait to get out of bed this morning!" No there is not. So, just stay in bed. Pull the covers over your head. Retreat into your own private pod. In the interest of your fragile mental health, I am hereby presenting some inspiration that will allow you to shut out annoying reality and focus on hypo sensory blissdom. If it helps, you can turn up the Kenny G and start drinking from that flask of booze you have hidden under the mattress. I won't tell.

Of course it might also help if your bed was shaped like a hibernation chamber, had synchronized LED lights and a built in stereo system, like the Transport Bed designed by Alberto Frias.

Ooooh look! It comes in kicky colors and you can even haul it out to the middle of the desert so you can finally get some peace and quiet, because the desert is so damn LOUD, you know. At $10,000 clams you might just want to pull your own covers up a little higher. Then ask a family member to use a flashlight and send you a synchronized sensory morse code signal that says, "Chillax. This isn't really happening."

You could always ask your workplace to install a personal Energy Pod by Metronaps in your office. A little shield protects you from the world for 20 whole minutes so you can powernap your way to increased productivity!

Wait -- Do I spy AIG executives? Hey corporate douches, am I paying you $700 billion in tax money to sleep on the job???! I hope that Pacman chews his legs off. Or maybe instead of waking him after 20 minutes of napping, the Energy Pod 2000 will turn his life support system off.

Happy place! Happy place! At $150, this little cat pod available via Generate Design is almost affordable. Of course, my half feral feline friend would scratch my face off if I tried to put her in it. How about for a baby...?

Let's face it: in order to transcend your fears, you may need to subject yourself to contemplation of the worst case scenario. This avatar of death should help take you there.

Awww... but the giant Sensory Deprivation Skull by Atelier Van Lieshout is so cute and cuddly on the inside! Golly, you just can't judge a pod by its cover, can you?

Raina of the fabulous If the Lampshade Fits alerted me to this little gem. After facing your deepest darkest fears in the cold grip of The Skull, you may need a little fortification. Mosey on over to the space pod bar designed by Zaha Hadid at the swanky Home House in London for a little R and R. Maybe you'll see that astronaut who lost a $100,000 tool bag crying his eyes out on a stool next to you. Misery loves company, right?

You and a friend can be miserable together at this home featured in Elle Decor UK. While the home itself is very open and spacious, it features some isolation stations for those times when you need Calgon to take you away.

There's nothing like the movies to indulge your escapist fantasies. Settle into these giant foam coozies inset into the wall and face the music.

You could always kick it old school and float up, up and away in your beautiful magic bubble, far from the common clutches of the filthy plebian masses.

I'm not gonna lie. These vintage (as in BEFORE Photoshop) fashion photographs by Melvin Sokolsky are dope. Glenda the Good Witch of the North ain't got nothing on this shizz. I have a new fantasy. (via Vintage & Chic, a super Spanish blog).

Some more happy times and simple pleasures via Jeff Andrews Design. But turn down the Kenny G for a sec and let's get real: there may be altogether too much contact with the world here. It's not safe. Noise! Germs! Advertising!!! For the love of all that is holy, we must forage for total encapsulation. A place where the taxman can't find you, a media-free outlaw station where we can go rogue. It must be miles from the siren song of cost prohibitive gifts and scintillating wrapping paper, leagues from Barbies and Transformers and iPods, oh my!

These crazy tree spheres set waaaaay out in the boonies might do the trick. Except -- and it's a big one -- that there rectangle in the bottom left corner is an outhouse. I don't know about you, but that's not going to work for me. Ok, that and the fact that it costs $125,000 to buy a sphere and live on planet Endor with the Ewoks. Gosh, those little guys are cute, though. The Ewoks, I mean.

No, I think I've got another solution. One gleaned from nature, and also from experience gained while engineering forts in my youth.

It's a sweet homemade nesting pod, and I bet you could build one from recycled plastic bags and Tyvek. Anchor it with a couple of chains and, whammo! You're off the grid! Screw that Visa bill and who needs a car, anyway? Oh, but I will be needing my iPod (you don't expect me to sit out there in silence, do you?), and a few changes of clothes because the outdoors are gamey, also I'd like my Pantene, because clean hair = humanity. I might get hungry... could you bring me some snacks? I especially like Rice Krispies treats.

Oh hell. If I have to pack a suitcase just to live in a plastic nest for overgrown birds, then I'm going back to bed.