Erin's Kitchen Nightmares

Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot. Because of you, we're planning to rip out our kitchen and replace it with this:

gorgeous kitchen

Sigh. Not really. I love this kitchen, but we'd pretty much have to raze the entire house and rebuild to get it, and Momma don't have that kind of cash (who does, these days?). But in all seriousness, because of your helpful comments on our first kitchen post, we expanded our $1000 kitchen "refurbishing" budget into... well, a hell of a lot more. I'll let you know the total damage when we do, and don't worry -- I plan to keep you updated every step of the way. Let's get started!

Here's a refresher picture for those of you who are scratching your heads in earnestness, trying desperately to remember what our hideous kitchen looks like:

our ugly kitchen

Mmmm, the beautiful tile, the gorgeous plywood grain, the overhanging cabinets that bash your head in when you attempt to look into the living room, the hulking pantry, the cracked and stained formica... Yes, it was hard to decide what you hated most, so we're ripping it all out. All of it. Oh, and trust me, the cabinets are WAY UGLIER in real life. Paint ain't gonna hide the janky drawers, the gaps in between the ill-fitted doors that may or may not open all the way, or the weird filler pieces sprinkled here and there like plywood twinkies.

First thing was first: get rid of those overhanging cabinets that blocked the view to the living room (for more detailed pics, refer to the original post here).

kitchen remodeling

Hunny Bunny to the rescue: the Berlin Wall is coming down, bitches! Ich bin ein Berliner, schweinehunds!

In case you were wondering, I was an integral part of the demo process:

erin is lazy

Almost done...

ben demolishing the wall

Awww... isn't he precious? So, let me tell you -- tearing watching Ben tear that wall up was the most liberating thing, ever. The ugly pine post is still unfinished, but I love the new sense of openness already, and I don't miss the cabinet space in the least.

living room

Yep, that's the (not actually that cluttered in real life) living room. Notice the post sans ugly cabinets on the left. Now if I could just get that back wall settled... oh well. One thing at a time.

Ok, back to the kitchen. So here are some Google Sketchups that the Hunny da Vinci'd up for me:

kitchen sketchup

Yes, we will be repainting. The window and stove walls will be the same pale gray as the living room, and the back wall will be black or some kind of a dark charcoalish color. Also, the post will be stripped of its hideous pine shell and dry walled to a (hopefully) smaller size. We will probably paint it white.

Unfortunately, as you can see above, Hunny Bunny went rogue a la Sarah Palin and added some wrap around beam that overhangs the bar area, and me no likey, especially because it makes the window area look cluttered:

kitchen shelves

Ugh. I really need three shelves for my dishes, and HB just can't understand why that extra shelf up top that is totally unreachable to 5' tall moi creates an ugly number. Can you help me out? So, here's the rest of our kitchen plan:

1) Rip out the fugly tile and run the same hardwood from the adjacent dining room into the kitchen. This is going to be a big nasty job full of sanding (our wood is unfinished and must be stained to match the old wood), but it's already scheduled for the end of the month, and the estimate is not too bad. Never fear, I shall blog the process and let you know how it goes and what it costs.

2) Rip the cabinet sea out and replace it with Ikea Abstrakt White lower cabinets that look like this:

ikea abstrakt white

ikea white abstrakt

Oooh, shiny! I know there are some Ikea haters out there that will tell me I'm crazy for trading in my wonky plywood cabinets for particle board, but I did my research and I'm not concerned. Consumer Reports gives them a pretty stellar rating (not even considering the cost!), and I love that they come with swank Blum and Ferrari hardware. I have NO hardware except for pulls and outside mounted hinges on my current cabinets, and there's currently so much wasted storage it's pathetic. Also, there's a rumor circulating that Ikea's more contemporary cabinets are manufactured by super duper expensive maker Snaidero:

snaidero

Like I said, it's just a rumor, but they sure look similar to me...

3) Karly's hubby Matt will help us build in another level to the peninsula so that we can have space to eat on the living room side. We're planning to use butcher block for the countertops on the peninsula since there aren't too many moisture issues in that area. Plus butcher block is cheap and pretty.

4) Soapstone for the counters on the sink side. Not sure if we're going to use tiles or slabs yet, but here's a picture of what a soapstone slab on a white cabinet with wood floors looks like:

soapstone counter

Obviously our cabinets will be sleeker, but I think the soapstone is clean and minimal with a natural "grain" to it, and I like that it's matte and non porous. If we decide to do tiles instead, there's an awesome DIY post that will hopefully guide us through the process. The results look pretty amazing.

5) Replace the sink. Um, not sure what's happening here. We were looking at this farmhouse sink, seen in Jillian Frances' beautiful kitchen remodel:

dosjo sink

domsjo sink

Hers looks really pretty with dark wood cabinets, but I'm not sure it's the right style for the cabinets we've chosen. Also, will it chip and stain? Should we just go stainless instead???????? Help!

6) Deal with the wall of pain.

fridge wall

This was our plan, but I had an epiphany that we need a built-in pantry wall of cabinets between the two doorways that the fridge will fit snugly inside. I'm just not sure if I should use the same white cabinets on this wall... will it be too stark against the black? My other choices are wood slab Nexus doors from Ikea that range from light brown, medium brown to brown black.

ikea doors

If I weren't putting in wood floors, I would probably choose the lightest wood color, but I think it's way too close to my floor color. What do you think about the darkest wood color? Would it be strange with a black wall behind it, and gray/black soapstone counters? Should I just go with a monolithic white wall of cabinets, instead? Double help! It's super important since we stare at this wall all the time while sitting in the living room, now that our upper cabinets are gone.

Designer friends and readers with fabulous taste who first pushed me to accept that I need to tear my kitchen up and paint it black, you know who you are. As you can see I'm about to spend a crapload of money and I want to get this right. Help a girl out with the details, will you? You'll have my undying love, unless this kitchen renovation kills me first.

Tacky Is as Travel Does

This weekend Erin & I cruised the City Wide Garage Sale with Jen Perkins.  The find of the day wasn't a life-sized hot pink horse sculpture (I wish!) but rather, it came in the form of a hot travel tip from madam Perkins herself:  The Madonna Inn.  Easily the tackiest hotel west of the Mississippi (fact, South of The Border wins the East-Coast title) the Madonna Inn is not named after the Material Girl, but it certainly is, ahem, la Isla Bonita:

Room 206, Old Mill

110 Unique rooms make up this Shangri La in San Louis Obispo.  Most of the rooms are constructed using rocks mined from local quaries, which results in such breathtaking spreads as these:

Room 204, American Home

Room 191, Misty Rock

Room 130 Yosemite Rock

Room 153, Swiss Rock

Room 143, Rock Bottom

Room 157, Traveler's Suite

Room 141, Madonna Suite

Incase you don't want to mix spelunking with your slumbering, or you're still having nightmares from watching The descent (like me!) there are plenty of light rock rooms for your vacationing pleasure:

Room 134 Lucky Rock

Room 136, Villa Rock

Room 180, Traveler's Yacht

Room 183 Love Nest (Eat your heart out, Jaime Hayon)

And don't worry, when your tummy starts growling, you don't have to leave the dream behind, the dining room looks like this:

Now, don't let the fake plants, dark wood and horrid 70s photography get you down, this tack-a-licious delight is totally slumber worthy.  Given the choice between The Madonna Inn and a La Quinta, I'd pick this joint faster than you could say Touched For the Very First Time.

So, what do you say?  When we go on our blog-wide vacation, which room will you stay in?

Weight Watchers

It's the New Year and resolutions are rolling in. Most everyone has decided to start a new diet and exercise program (myself included), which is not surprising considering all of the confusing signals the media sends us. Don't you love seeing rail thin celebrities juxtaposed against muffin tops and love handles on magazine covers? Meanwhile, the TV is coercing you to stop by Pizza Hut for a Super Colossal Meat Meltdown on your way back from a vain attempt to squeeze yourself into those 00 skinny jeans. And so the bottom line is that we're all really HUNGRY, but none of us want to look like this:

charlotte kingsworth

And all of us want to look like this:

conran thonet chairs

On the top you've got Charlotte Kingsnorth's award-winning One chair, modeled after the stunningly fleshy paintings of Saatchi favorite Jenny Saville, while on the bottom you have an extremely attenuated Thonet chair, modified by Martino Gamper for the Conran Shop. True -- one may be more elegant. But the other looks a hell of a lot more comfortable. Nothing wrong with a little extra padding, right?

pabo reinoso

Alas, it seems the fashion industry has other plans for our bodies. Must we starve our forms into utter weightlessness? Pablo Reinoso seems to think so, as evinced by his Pret-A-Thonet series, also seen in Karly's post here.

pablo reinoso

With his all too innocently titled Summerhouse, Reinoso sells skinny by seducing us with the ethereal quality of long limbs so painfully thin they function like pliable spaghetti. Mmmm.... thinking about spaghetti makes me hungry.

nobodyandco

Those who resist the temptation to assuage their hunger pangs with dubiously nutritious pasta, chocolate Ho Ho's and delectable french toast, may be rewarded with less heft, but at what cost, I say? Starvation leads to brittle bones and an unhealthy physique. For proof, see the Missing Chairs above, designed by Nobody&co.

tango chairs

tango chairs

Obviously, improper nutrition will turn you into a wimp who buckles under the slightest pressure. Even their creator, Ante Vojnovic, imagines these statement-making skinny minnies to be "non-functional." I don't know about you, but I have to work. And walk. And be functional and stuff.

pablo reinoso

And let's not forget there's a dark side to dieting: all that extra skin has gotta go somewhere. Reinoso shows that with no fatty flesh underneath to buoy it up, scrawny skin is likely to sag south.

Shall we then head the opposite direction and stuff ourselves silly, bloating our bodies to maximum capacity?

obese eames chair

That approach seems a smidge problematic, as well. To wit, this classic Eames Chair reworked by Mark Wentzel -- once perfectly proportioned with ass room to spare -- might want to lay off the Cheetos. Otherwise it could forever remain an XLounge.

What to do, then? Diet, exercise, binge, purge, starve?

thonet knot

Anxiety only makes it worse, so don't tie yourself in a pretzel-shaped knot worrying about it, like this Thonet chair. Yum, I love hot, squishy, salty pretzels with mustard on top...

It seems that the only possible hope for health lies in balance.

gamper martino

This example from Gamper Martino's 100 Chairs in 100 Days series serves as a lesson: there will always be a skinny bitch wrestling a, uh... somewhat less skinny bitch inside us all. All that wrestling may involve mud chocolate pudding and bikinis. It could get ugly, but don't despair.

frank willems

Frank Willems reminds us with his Madam Rubens Collection that not everyone has the same definition of beauty. It's all subjective, yo. So if we're all feeling a touch Rubenesque ourselves from the holiday cakes and pies and scrumptious cookies (and mashed potatoes and casserole and stuffing [it can't be good for you if it's called STUFFING, right?!]), well, give yourself a break. A little extra sqush adds to da swish, and a pair of shapely legs never hurt anyone.