Ikea, I Hate to Love You

I pretty much don't buy new things. Mostly it's because I'm cheap, but when I'm making some pretense at self righteousness (usually when trying to justify the purchase of yet another thrifted chair to the Hunny), I say that I'm saving the earth. Pretty much single handedly. Ok, Karly helps, too. However, we're remodeling our kitchen, and gosh darn it's hard to thrift built in cabinets. Plus we're furnishing/decorating a nursery, and used sheets and rugs for le bebe just won't work for me. This newfound taste for uh, newness, has resulted in THREE trips to Ikea in the past week alone. If you've never been to an Ikea store, just know that a) there is never one conveniently located by your house and b) it takes hours just to navigate the showroom labyrinth.

ikea rounf rock

You see, Ikea's "floorplan" is actually a nefarious plot designed to keep you trapped within the store for the longest possible time without actually causing brain damage. But I can tell you, it comes damn close. So today, I'm going to shower you with all the Ikea knowledge I've gleaned over the past few months of epic trips, in the vain hope that I might spot some goodies for you and prevent Ikea overload should you ever step into the store yourself. Even so, it might be best to tie a rope to your car, all Poltergeist style. Just in case.

nursery

First of all, what in the world have I bought there? Well, this corner of our nursery (yes, there is a bed in our nursery, but don't worry -- there's a crib, too) features a Ludde sheepskin on the rocker ($49.95), the Stockholm nubby throw ($29.99), a pair of black Jorun pillows ($14.99 ea), and linen Aina curtains ($49.99 for 2). Sorry, Le Tigre is not available at Ikea. I have to say that of all these items, I think the curtains are a steal. They're linen, 8 ft tall with rod pockets in the back and faux pinch pleats in the front. Good deal.

ikea asker

Additionally, I've bought a bazillion dollars worth of kitchen stuff there, including Abstrakt white cabinets and Nexus brown black cabinets. (You can read all about my obsession with both in this post.) I've been shopping for some kitchen accessories to go with, and I think these Asker egg shaped cups on rails are pretty swift. They also look nice in this cute office, which is sadly marred by that creepy "Hello." Link via Apartment Therapy.

dining room

And, of course, I love my giant wicker beehive light ($89.99 for the biggun) that hangs in our dining room, which currently looks nothing like this. At all.

In addition to all these purchases, my pinched pocketbook lusts after -- but will probably not buy -- the following items:

blob lights

Blob lights! Ok, I might actually buy a pair of these bad boys because THE HUNNY LIKES THEM. This does not happen. Ever. Ikea Jonisk, $49.99. Awesome proportions -- it's big.

ikea patio set

I would also lurve to have an entirely new patio set... alas, I am broke. But if you're shopping for a giant umbrella, Ikea has some super fantastic ones. This cantilevered badass is HUGE. Ikea Karlso, $129.00 for 10 feet of shade.

ikea brommo

Ikea also rolled out these new deck chairs for the summer season. Brommo has all the elements of a classic: clean lines, decent construction, and it's comfy. Plus you gotta love a good rope chair. $59.99.

ione skye house

You could always imitate the effervescent Ione Skye and buy these lounge chairs for your outdoor wonderland. Karl Skrona is kinda pricey at $169, but if it's good enough for ex Mrs. David Netto... (Netto, what were you thinking, anyway? Ione is adorable!)

ange chair

If you're among the rich and famous and have $129 to burn on ONE chair, the Ange is Salternini sweet. Oh, and Karly and I would each like a set of six while you're at it. Thanks!

door 16

Anna from Door Sixteen has the Karlstad couch, and I have to say that sucker is super comfortable! Another friend has the same sofa in a sectional configuration, and I am sorely tempted to sell my leather sofas and buy one, too. It's that squishy good. Do yourself a favor and buy the best fabric they have. $599 for gray wool flannel.

ikea rugs

One of Ikea's greatest strengths is probably their textiles; the rugs in particular are priced well considering the materials and patterns. Clockwise from top left: 1) Admete, two sided cotton runner, $19. 2) Flatweave Jorun, two sided wool, $179. 3) Tarnby, braided jute $99 (much nicer in person -- very thick). 4) Stockholm, wool, $229.

ikea duvet

They had some pretty cute new duvet covers when I was there, too. Love this one in a child's room, styled by Creature Comforts. Unni Slinga, $19.99 for duvet cover and two pillowcases.

Ikea's other greatest strength is its straight up cheapness when it comes to the basics:

ikea lights damien hirst

Remember my last post about Blobs where I waxed hateful on Damien Hirst and how damn much money he makes for "designing" things like the light configuration in this home? Well, eight Ikea lights later and you've got your very own Damien Hirst design. Left: Lillholmen, $9.99. Right: Fado, $29.99. Boo ya!

So, in closing, I would like to summarize all the things I like about Ikea: 1) It's cheap. 2) Sometimes it's cool. 3) They have great customer service, as in they will take ANYTHING back. Are you listening muthereffing Target? I'm also in love with tiny Bob, the kitchen designer at the Austin store, and Kumar, the most excellent customer service dude, ever. 4) They have this new deal where using your debit card nets you a 3% credit on your next trip. Yay! Free money! 5) They only have reusable bags -- no disposable plastic nasties. 7) "Ice cream" cones. 6) Occasionally they give their products very funny names, like this corkscrew:

groggy

But it's not all sweet smelling rosy stuff. There are things I hate about Ikea, too. 1) It's far away. 2) It's really far away. 3) The zombies:

ikea zombies

If you've ever been to a brick and mortar Ikea store, then you know eactly what I'm talking about.

Design Crisis Loves Daniel Loves Objects

Today's post has lots of gold, the dirtiest lamps you'll ever see, and very little writing.  Let's do this:

See!  What did I tell you?  At Your Command Lamps by Daniel Loves Objects

Bookcase From his  Of Wars Wits & Power Series

These Bookshelves remind me of the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremonies.

I will give you a million dollars if you can guess what this is.  A humidifier!  Hello!  I really don't need one of those here in Texas, but if Daniel ever comes up with a dehumidifier in gold, I will be first in line to checkout.

Daniel Loves Objects has lots of great goodies, you should go check them all out, I just chose to share the ones that were my favorite color.

 

Globamarama

Oh, it's a beautiful day, filled with glitter and puppies and warm apple pie with sparkly sprinkles on top!

inauguration day

At Obama's inauguration, I expect there will be unicorns and rainbows, with pink cheeked babies and parades of fairy princesses. (If you're a boy, I guess there will be... trucks? Sports? What DO men like, anyway?) Unisex fireworks will light the sky and the grime of dark ages shall be swept away by the glow of a truthy new Renaissance (insert angel's trumpets here).

So in honor of this special day, I am passing on pedestrian red, white and blue, and instead I am going straight for da dazzle. Only happy objects shall grace these pages, only glowing bastions of brightness. But I'm omitting already obvious lamps and chandeliers, for the aura and glow of better days to come must be shared by all.

aladdin table

Stuart Haygarth's Aladdin Table is designed to act as a museum showcase for precious, sentimental objects. Let's say we stuff this sucker full of a better economy, peace in the Middle East, and a brighter, more purple future for our children.

suck uk coffee table

Have a seat around this Illuminating Coffee Table and develop your plans for a new world order. Item one on the manifesto: There must be more hot pink. Everywhere.

birgit ostengaard

If you're feeling a little lost in transition, perhaps these Top of the Iceberg lights by Birgit Ostergaard can help you find your way through the darkness. They might also remind you that after Obama conquers the economy, war, education and healthcare, he probably should deal with that dastardly global warming.

refined sugar studio

In the new world, no one shall go hungry, and this thousand-points-of-light table by Refined Sugar Studio will help to remind you that you are fortunate to have oh so many choices for foodstuffs: you could eat meat, eat fat, or even eat me. I am really hoping the Eat Me option is meant to evoke the slang, and not meant in a Soilent Green kind of way. That is not a vision of the future I want to embrace.

lite brite table

Of course, you could configure your own destiny with this Lite Brite Table. So turn on the magical shining light and make a steamboat, a chicken, a tropical fish -- a lemonade sign or whatever you wish! Aren't you loving the shape of things to come?

In this new shining era, everything will require you to wear your sunglasses at night, so you can -- so you can -- see the light that's right before your eyes.

lee broom

See what I mean? She's obviously blinded by the light, hence the outfit. In her defense, Lee Broom's manipulated furnishings are pretty effing cool despite possessing potentially damaging effects to one's retinas.

lee broom

On the other hand, a little extra illumination never hurt anyone. Unless you enjoy wearing clown makeup.

lee broom

I'm suddenly considering getting crafty with my Chesterfield couch... This just looks so darn comfortable!

lee broom

Oh, weird circus Thonet, you light up my life.

lee broom

This is where I would sit and consider the first day of the rest of your lives... ooops! I mean, that's where Obama would sit.

yonoh coatracks

After a long hard day of plotting, planning and designing, take a break and hang your hat on these groovy glowing coat racks by Yonoh Design. Enjoy the lovely, wholesome glow of sunny days that are sweeping the clouds away... Yes, friends, we are on our way to where the air is sweet!

But, can you tell me how to get a ride to the inauguration street?