Design Crisis: Now 100% Zombie Free

If you tried to visit our site yesterday or the day before and were warned that zombies might bite your face off upon entrance, rest assured that the walking dead have been laid to rest. Ok, and we also promise that there are no viruses or malware here. Thanks to all of you who let us know about the red screen of death -- we spent the better part of a day working to delete comments and pingbacks that may have inserted nefarious code into our fair site. So if your comment got deleted somewhere and you're feeling all WTF?! about it: oops. Sorry about that.

But let's move on and look at some zombie free rooms, shall we?

no zombies

No zombies.

no zombies

No zombies.

Still no zombies.

Maaaaaaybe zombies...

But you know how Martyn Lawrence Bullard is...

He thinks eating human flesh is totally delicious.

[Frederic Malle, Chahan Minassian, Met Home via Chapman Interiors, Martyn Lawrence Bullard]

Ikea, I Hate to Love You

I pretty much don't buy new things. Mostly it's because I'm cheap, but when I'm making some pretense at self righteousness (usually when trying to justify the purchase of yet another thrifted chair to the Hunny), I say that I'm saving the earth. Pretty much single handedly. Ok, Karly helps, too. However, we're remodeling our kitchen, and gosh darn it's hard to thrift built in cabinets. Plus we're furnishing/decorating a nursery, and used sheets and rugs for le bebe just won't work for me. This newfound taste for uh, newness, has resulted in THREE trips to Ikea in the past week alone. If you've never been to an Ikea store, just know that a) there is never one conveniently located by your house and b) it takes hours just to navigate the showroom labyrinth.

ikea rounf rock

You see, Ikea's "floorplan" is actually a nefarious plot designed to keep you trapped within the store for the longest possible time without actually causing brain damage. But I can tell you, it comes damn close. So today, I'm going to shower you with all the Ikea knowledge I've gleaned over the past few months of epic trips, in the vain hope that I might spot some goodies for you and prevent Ikea overload should you ever step into the store yourself. Even so, it might be best to tie a rope to your car, all Poltergeist style. Just in case.

nursery

First of all, what in the world have I bought there? Well, this corner of our nursery (yes, there is a bed in our nursery, but don't worry -- there's a crib, too) features a Ludde sheepskin on the rocker ($49.95), the Stockholm nubby throw ($29.99), a pair of black Jorun pillows ($14.99 ea), and linen Aina curtains ($49.99 for 2). Sorry, Le Tigre is not available at Ikea. I have to say that of all these items, I think the curtains are a steal. They're linen, 8 ft tall with rod pockets in the back and faux pinch pleats in the front. Good deal.

ikea asker

Additionally, I've bought a bazillion dollars worth of kitchen stuff there, including Abstrakt white cabinets and Nexus brown black cabinets. (You can read all about my obsession with both in this post.) I've been shopping for some kitchen accessories to go with, and I think these Asker egg shaped cups on rails are pretty swift. They also look nice in this cute office, which is sadly marred by that creepy "Hello." Link via Apartment Therapy.

dining room

And, of course, I love my giant wicker beehive light ($89.99 for the biggun) that hangs in our dining room, which currently looks nothing like this. At all.

In addition to all these purchases, my pinched pocketbook lusts after -- but will probably not buy -- the following items:

blob lights

Blob lights! Ok, I might actually buy a pair of these bad boys because THE HUNNY LIKES THEM. This does not happen. Ever. Ikea Jonisk, $49.99. Awesome proportions -- it's big.

ikea patio set

I would also lurve to have an entirely new patio set... alas, I am broke. But if you're shopping for a giant umbrella, Ikea has some super fantastic ones. This cantilevered badass is HUGE. Ikea Karlso, $129.00 for 10 feet of shade.

ikea brommo

Ikea also rolled out these new deck chairs for the summer season. Brommo has all the elements of a classic: clean lines, decent construction, and it's comfy. Plus you gotta love a good rope chair. $59.99.

ione skye house

You could always imitate the effervescent Ione Skye and buy these lounge chairs for your outdoor wonderland. Karl Skrona is kinda pricey at $169, but if it's good enough for ex Mrs. David Netto... (Netto, what were you thinking, anyway? Ione is adorable!)

ange chair

If you're among the rich and famous and have $129 to burn on ONE chair, the Ange is Salternini sweet. Oh, and Karly and I would each like a set of six while you're at it. Thanks!

door 16

Anna from Door Sixteen has the Karlstad couch, and I have to say that sucker is super comfortable! Another friend has the same sofa in a sectional configuration, and I am sorely tempted to sell my leather sofas and buy one, too. It's that squishy good. Do yourself a favor and buy the best fabric they have. $599 for gray wool flannel.

ikea rugs

One of Ikea's greatest strengths is probably their textiles; the rugs in particular are priced well considering the materials and patterns. Clockwise from top left: 1) Admete, two sided cotton runner, $19. 2) Flatweave Jorun, two sided wool, $179. 3) Tarnby, braided jute $99 (much nicer in person -- very thick). 4) Stockholm, wool, $229.

ikea duvet

They had some pretty cute new duvet covers when I was there, too. Love this one in a child's room, styled by Creature Comforts. Unni Slinga, $19.99 for duvet cover and two pillowcases.

Ikea's other greatest strength is its straight up cheapness when it comes to the basics:

ikea lights damien hirst

Remember my last post about Blobs where I waxed hateful on Damien Hirst and how damn much money he makes for "designing" things like the light configuration in this home? Well, eight Ikea lights later and you've got your very own Damien Hirst design. Left: Lillholmen, $9.99. Right: Fado, $29.99. Boo ya!

So, in closing, I would like to summarize all the things I like about Ikea: 1) It's cheap. 2) Sometimes it's cool. 3) They have great customer service, as in they will take ANYTHING back. Are you listening muthereffing Target? I'm also in love with tiny Bob, the kitchen designer at the Austin store, and Kumar, the most excellent customer service dude, ever. 4) They have this new deal where using your debit card nets you a 3% credit on your next trip. Yay! Free money! 5) They only have reusable bags -- no disposable plastic nasties. 7) "Ice cream" cones. 6) Occasionally they give their products very funny names, like this corkscrew:

groggy

But it's not all sweet smelling rosy stuff. There are things I hate about Ikea, too. 1) It's far away. 2) It's really far away. 3) The zombies:

ikea zombies

If you've ever been to a brick and mortar Ikea store, then you know eactly what I'm talking about.