We Don't Want the Funk

Today, I'm in a funk. You know those days where, from the very moment you wake up and rub the sleep out of your grubbly little eyes, you just feel whack? Well, I've got a major case of the grumble grumbles, and the only things stopping me from throwing a rock through the window are A) the cost of replacing said window and B) the cost of therapy for my anger management problem. Whew! Crisis averted thanks to poverty! Anyway, I refuse to sit and stew. So it's up to me to find a happy distraction, and do you know what makes me happy and distracted?

rainbow brite

Motherfucking Rainbow Brite, that's what.

I mean, no one can be angry in the face of all that COLOR. Sure, I like black and white and brown and gray. A lot. But sometimes, I just need to visit a happy fantasy land, where Roy G Biv reigns supreme and the world is filled with sparkles. And hopefully donuts. I bet the guy who owns this renovated Art Deco house has a mountain of sparkly donuts in his rainbow painted cupboard just for me.

rainbow house

rainbow house

This dude does not give a rat's rump about the oft touted "household color palette." This is a shameless, unapologetic exploitation of paint, combined with an unadulterated love of the Corbusier, Bertoia and Panton triumvirate.

rainbow house

rainbow house

Did I already mention the animal skins?

rainbow house

rainbow house

rainbow house

But, the magical elevator alone is enough to make me forget all the things I don't like about this house.

elevator

And for all its flaws -- or perhaps because of them -- I feel that this home is inhabited by a person who likes pastries, rides his bicycle in the house, and plays video games during business hours. Maybe Tom Hanks from Big lives here?

tom hanks big

Whatever. It's a vast improvement over Tom Hanks in Castaway or The Da Vinci Code.