Rug Talk on TV

I teamed up with super anchor Amy Hadley from YNN to bring you another segment of House Proud, this time pontificating all about my not-so-secret lover. Is there anything dreamier than a fabulous rug? I’m sure my husband would like to think so, but I’m not so sure. Sexy Persian wins again. See if you agree:

I am resisting the urge to nitpick everything about my appearance and house, because I really want to set a better example for my children. Also I would like to avoid heavy duty prescription medications. Therefore I will only nitpick a couple of things -- namely that microphone pack in back pocket + peplum top = Sir Mixalot Booty, and that my pre One Room Challenge dirty grout is giving me hives.

Score 1 for neuroses, 0 for mental health.

Nevertheless, being on TV is fun. I really like talking. And I love rugs.

Hope you enjoyed the show!

In Which I Humiliate Myself, AKA Video of My Nursery Tour on House Proud

You know how sometimes you see pictures of yourself, or hear recordings of your voice, or -- you know -- see yourself on tv, and wonder how the pod people managed to take over while you were sleeping? You know?

ABSOLUTELY!

I suspect my parents will be confused when they discover I have transitioned from born and raised in east Texas to Jessica from Sweet Valley High (don't judge). Or maybe I always sound like that?! Either way, I need some elocution lessons.

Thankfully Luke is adorable and precious and pretty much steals the show. Plus Amy Hadley is utterly charming! If you live in Austin the segment will be airing on YNN today.

Enjoy the video and try not to hurl tomatoes at your screen.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Howdy!

Remember those seemingly empty promises I made months -- nay, YEARS -- ago of bringing the blog out of the dark age of muskets and horse drawn carts? Well, I finally put aside my fear of computers and public failure and done did it. Please, have a look around. Check out my new portfolio. You might find that five years' worth of posts are more accessible, or you might find that Rome is burning... after all, I built this city on a foundation of ignorance and hackery. But isn't it pretty?

In all honesty I was motivated to clean up by my fancy cable television debut, which is scheduled for today. I couldn't have fame and fortune come knocking only to find me clothed in old skivvies, could I?

Speaking of my 15 minutes of fame, here is the only behind the scenes shot I managed during our whirlwind shooting session. It's called an OTS (over the shoulder) shot... I know that because I'm now a seasoned tv vet, yo.

Between Amy Hadley's perfect bone structure and Robbie the camera dude's gymmy guns, I'm convinced YNN is breeding a super race of extraordinarily handsome, ridiculously talented people. Thanks a lot for making the rest of us feel frumpy, YNN. Thanks.

Anyhow, the shoot was super fun although a little stressful, and I think maybe some of the enamel on my teeth is gone now. I am a boss behind the camera, but in front of it...??? Pretty sure I'm going to come off like a buck toothed double chinned know it all dummy. I probably should have grabbed some hay straw and started chewing it up like I was Minnie Pearl filming Hee Haw.

You may have guessed by now that I haven't seen the segments yet. That's because I don't have Time Warner (shaking my fist at ATT Pooverse right now). But I assure you I will You Tube that business -- buck teeth and all -- and post it asap even if I have to don my ninja duds and sneak into Time Warner myself.

So please do stand by in case I need a ride home from the police station. And if you are in Austin please tune into Time Warner's local news channel YNN to see my segment on House Proud.

Thanks for visiting!