Winkler + Noah Are Out to Get You

Here at DC we get all manner of submissions, which usually appear in the form of gaudy copper range hoods, vaguely grammatical musings on rugs, and other gross stuff we would never post from people who obviously do not read our blog. But occasionally, something wicked this way comes, and today is that day. When I opened the email from photographers Winkler + Noah, I thought to myself, mmm, this is Creepy McCreeperson, and our readers don't really want us to go there. Right? Right? But as I perused the web, trying in vain to find something SPECTACULAR to post for y'alluns, I could not get these pictures out of my hormonal little head. Behold:

I don't know. Maybe it's just because I am incubating a little tot of my own, but these pictures FREAK ME OUT. Winkler + Noah manipulated portraits of children for their series Puppet Show, and there's something about these images that reminds me of those horror movies where dolls attack their unsuspecting victims in gruesome ways, all while maintaining their charming, disarming wide eyed sweetness.

Holy Village of the Damned zombie kids! Please don't kill me....

Brains: it's what's for dinner.

So cute, but he will use those luscious lips to eat your face off in a heartbeat. Those soft, vacant eyes are just a ruse to lure you into complacency. Do not fall for it!

Besides fashioning an army of killer kids that will steal your soul and leave you with an unfortunately shaped cranium, Winkler + Noah have been busy at work on other projects that range from the merely dark and edgy, to the patently nightmarish.

I actually really dig these moody and twisted images of moonlit roads from their Darkland series. As long as the puppet kids don't jump out from behind the trees, I feel pretty good here.

And who doesn't love the animals? Awww, my own precious posessed fluffy makes exactly the same face right before she tries to scratch your eyes out. Adorable!

I like giraffes! This is ok!

Uh, that thing keeps tracking my movements across the room. Gives new meaning to the term "wild eyed." I think this horse is secretly in league with the zombie kids, and I don't want any part of that.

And then there's this. Sweet jumping Jehosaphat, Granny's got an ax to grind!

I told the retirement home not to send in any more help when she cries and complains about not being able to get in and out of the bath, or wants someone to fetch more decorations from the attic.

Last year she swore up and down that this Christmas would be so much better and I just wanted to believe her. Maybe next year will be different.

After all, would this face lie to you?

Dear God, Please Let Everyone Like This Post

I've tried writing today's opening paragraph several times but keep erasing it.  Today's post is all about churches and church remodels and people tend to get a little touchy when you start chatting about the Lord. So, for the sake of maintaining readership (I love you all as though you were my very own children and I don't want to make any of my babies sad or angry) I'm gonna hop right to the holy slideshow.  

 If it were up to me, the designers of Qubus Studio would get a free pass to heaven for such excellent work on St. Bartholowmew's Church

Despite how lovely St. Bartholowmew's is, it's probably more likely that I will be found in a church that has been renovated into something else, like, say, a bookstore:

Selexyz Dominicanen in Maastricht, Netherlands, 4000 square feet of pure heaven.  See:

Isn't that cafe to die and ascend to the afterlife for?  Apparently, it's somewhat controversial and some folks don't like the cross table.  But, hey if we're gonna be cool with Luke 6:38 Roll Gum, then we gotta be cool with a cross table, right?

Since I tend to worship at the alter of what's for dinner, the White Rabbit Restaurant in singapore has me singing hallelujah 

Dining and reading in a defunct church sounds just fine, but I'm not so sure about living in one:

Of course, I probably wouldn't be too mad at the Lord above for blessing me with such lovely windows

So, what do you say, are you totes in love with the church remodels:

Or are you still trying to figure it all out?

Light intallation by Robert Stadler at the church of Saint Paul in Paris, 2007

Panic Attraction

OH MY GOD, the swine flu is coming! The swiiiiiine fluuuuu! Everybody FREAK OUT. RUN. HIDE!!!!!!!! Remember SARS? The avian flu? West Nile virus? All those other pandemics that resulted more in spiked ratings for the major news networks than in spiked fevers for you and me? Well, this just in: THE SWINE FLU IS NO MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE REGULAR FLU. Sure, the flu sucks -- just ask Karly. Hell, she may have even had the swine flu for all we know, but she is still alive (trust me on this. I'm way too lazy to write posts for her).

So just chill, panicked people. Besides, wouldn't you rather look like this:

Than this?

I mean, those masks are just tacky, and what is the point of touching your infected mask to another infected mask? It's like two nasty sponges mingling in a disgusting, germy sex dance. Gross.

And really, what do we have against viruses anyway? They're kind of pretty.

Awwww, look at that cuddly little guy floating around in there! Maybe the swine flu is just looking for love in all the wrong places? So, today let us celebrate the beauty of nature's most resilient replicator in all its inspired glory. This flu's for you.

Viruses really are elegant examples of design. Stuff some DNA in a hard protein casing, and voila: Bacteriophagearrific! Even Philippe Starck knew to borrow from the basics -- his virus-inspired juicer for Alessi remains one of his most classic creations.

And really, no one can blame little ol' DNA for the flu. Because ATCG combined is one bad motherfu -- What? I'm just talking 'bout the building blocks of life! DNA Lamps by Next.

What that DNA can do is just magical -- slimey oozy gooey, groovy. New Order Chair by Jerszy Seymour for Vitra.

And who's afraid of a few extra mutations here and there? There's just more to snuggle up to, in my opinion. Chernobyl Doll by Jaime Pitarch.

This pretty shiny chair by Richard Hutten looks so much like our swine flu buddy that it should be named "Swiney for your Heiny." I think it has a ring to it, don't you?

Check out the Contamination series of ceramics by Tamsin Van Essin. Ok, so the designs were inspired by bacterial colonies, and I really have no clue how bacteria work except that they're anaerobic or something like that (bio was a LONG time ago, ok?), but today bacteria is also getting a free pass. E Coli = E Cool!

Bom chicka bom bom, these aluminum cast tables from Reddish Studio make sickly look sexy.

Pretty soon the whole world is going to look like this anyway, so there's really no use fighting the new germ order. Third Space by the Academy of Fine Arts in Munich.

So, throw away all those creepy masks and pesky latex gloves, and join the viral revolution. Glove Lamp by Katarina Britse.

And while you're at it, kiss a pig for me.