I think that I shall never see a home as lovely as a tree

Swiss Family Robinson attraction at Disney World

Hi ya Design Crisis fans!  I'm Raina and I'll be filling in for Karly today while she's drunkenly heckling Pottery Barn shoppers on vacation.  My days are spent chasing my two-year-old daughter around and writing a couple of little interior design blogs, "If The Lamp Shade Fits" and "The Daily Bed."  I've worked in design and retail since my teen years and previously owned an interiors shop and a clothing boutique for nearly a decade.  Enough about me, let's get to today's topic...

Who doesn't love a tree house?  Given the worldwide economic bloodletting and skyrocketing home foreclosure rate, les cabanes dans un arbre (it's sexier in French) may soon become the shelter of choice if not necessity.  Let's take a tour through some superlative examples of the genre.

Stockholm-based architects Tham + Videgard Hansson Arkitekter have designed a hotel with individual rooms to be suspended in trees and accessed by rope ladders and bridges.

The suites will be clad in mirrored glass so as to give the structures a Harry Potter-esque cloak of invisibility.

Each unit will sleep two people and include a living room, double bed, small kitchen, bathroom and roof terrace.  The hotel is due to start construction in 2010.

Continuing with the box-in-a-tree theme, Canadian architects StudioLukaszkos designed this award-winning 410-square-foot lakeside project called "4treehouse."  The first floor contains a sheltered bedroom with the two upper floors open to the elements.

British builder Amazon Tree Houses creates "inspirational bespoke retreats for inspired locations."  Budgets for these more traditional fairy tale tree houses start at $7500 and head upwards of $150,000 (and beyond).

Lest you think tree houses can only be built in mighty oaks, I give you the "Palm-Fiction" designed by German builder BaumRaum.

BaumRaum (translation "tree room") combines "the creative and constructive expertise of an architect with the long-standing experience of a landscape architect, a tree expert, and established, reputable craftsmen."  Working internationally, the design firm specializes in modern shapes and luxe interiors.

As part of a recent marketing campaign for the New Zealand Yellow Pages, a tree house restaurant was built in a giant redwood (all suppliers to the project were Yellow Pages advertisers).  The restaurant, located north of Auckland on a privately-owned redwood plantation, was a limited-run engagement open from January 9th to February 9th. The structure, now available for private parties, seats 18 people on split levels with service provided from a kitchen located on the ground.

If you prefer to live out your tree house dreams in the safety and warmth of your own home, you may want to think about one of these fantasy beds.

"Under the Apple Tree" canopy bed from Attila Design.

"Tree Bed" from Shawn Lovell Metalworks.

"Tree House" loft bed from VIP Kids.

For further inspiration, check out the tree house porn coffee table book "Treehouse Living: 50 Innovative Designs."

See thee in the canopy!

Quilts Gone Wild!

The normally oh so civilized quiltosphere is abuzz with conflict regarding the latest issue of Quilter's Home. According to this article in The Washington Post, Jo Ann's Fabric Store refused to carry the scandalous March/April issue because it features pages of controversial quilts. Even though editor/owner Mark Lipinski ponied up extra cash to have the issues shrink wrapped in plastic sleeves a la Hustler magazine, the issue was deemed too shocking for Jo Ann's customers, out of fear that they might accidentally look at the magazine. Let's check out the front cover, shall we?

What? No T&A? Just an alarmingly excited man (Lipinski himself) playing a post pubescent game of hide and seek on the cover... But it is advertised as "Shocking," so what's inside this issue anyway?

WaPo writes, "Flip past the ads for stencil companies and portable ironing tables to Page 24. Behold, seven straight pages of shocking quilts. We're talking fabric phalluses. Gun-toting Jesuses. A newborn peering out from his mother's lady parts (constructed out of lots of soft, embroidered orange cloth)."

You don't say.

Sadly, I don't have a copy of this magazine (if you do, PLEASE send us scans and I'll update the post), and QH doesn't publish excepts online, but a little detective work has uncovered some of the art and artists included within these controversial(!) pages.

First up, Gwendolyn Magree, whose quilts draw comparison to Jacob Lawrence. Southern Heritage/Southern Shame, included in Quilter's Home, was created as a response to Mississippi's refusal to remove the Confederate emblem from the state flag.

God of Our Weary Years

When Hope Unborn Had Died, of which Magree writes, "A couple has bought a hog and toddler at auction. Its mother, screaming in anguish, runs desperately out of the fields."

Requiem, a quilt devoted to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

And then there's Miss Mary Beth Bellah, along with her featured quilt, Helping Hands, which is apparently an ode to Viagra. And penises.

Don't be deceived by her middle aged wholesomeness, but do note the pliant puss in hand. And the penises.

Can you see them, masquerading as dog bones? Also, the blue diamonds represent delicious Viagra pills. Apparently, this quilt was exhibited at a hospital -- fitting, no? -- but was taken down due to complaints. Really, you'd think hospitals would appreciate the free advertising!

Last but not least, Shawn Quinlan's Jesus Get Your Gun quilt, featured in the now notorious QH issue, really got some blogger's threads knotted up in a wad.

Nothing like religion and politics to ruffle a few feathers. Apparently this piece was the recipient of an award at the Andy Warhol Museum, and was also awarded the Greater Latrobe School District Art Conservation Trust, but the latter was rescinded "due to controversial subject matter." Read the letter that inspired it here.

Oh, but there's so much more.

As My Daddy Always Told Me, "At Least Democrats Will Throw You a Bone."

Fossil Fuel

Farwell Quilt #2, which was inspired by a conversation between Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. You can read the very intriguing transcript here.

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

Well, readers, what do you think? Is Jo Ann's Fabrics "out of touch with their customer base," as Lipinski suggests? "When you consider that a 70-year-old could have been dancing naked at Woodstock and a 50-year-old could have been smoking pot in high school -- sometimes you have to change your marketing." Or is Lipinski just a sensationalist out to make a buck? WaPo does note that he used to be a talk show producer.

Should quilts -- generally a traditional, conservative field -- only mine the terrain of calico and wedding ring patterns? Or are penises, lynchings and angry Jesuses, appropriate fodder for material?

Drop me a note and let me know what you think!

************

UPDATE!

Totally unrelated to Quilter's Home and its collection of randy quilts, but you people have to head over to Double Takes to see the Dead Rapper quilts Lauren posted. Have to!

**************

UPDATE PART DEUX!

Totally awesome reader, Bobbi, send in scans from the mag of the quilts I didn't manage to find on the net.

Yes, those are some hot buns by Randall Cook, and a tiny baby peeking out of an orange (?!) vajayjay by Gayle McKay.

Another quilt by the very talented Gwendolyn Magree, and The L Word Quilt by Diane Johns.

Thanks Bobbi for sending in the scans, and thanks all your peeps who have written in with your own stories of censorship and strife in the quiltosphere. DC readers are the best!

Spring has NOT Sprung, Damnit!

While you dudes are blissfully watching the snow melt off of branches and ushering in the coming of spring, I am fighting it off tooth and nail.  It's a balmy 82 degrees here in austin and the only ice I've seen for the last few months came out of my fridge.  This is why, my friends, I will be spending the next 5 fun-filled days on the slopes in Vail, Colorado.  Holla! I wanted to bring you a ski cabin related post today but most of my searches ended with pictures like this:

This from a site that promises to show you how to "create your own ski lodge look."  Let's get this straight, this chair should not ever be seen near a ski slope, much less in some living room in the Carolina suburbs.  I'm not giving you a link because no one should ever learn to do this. The madness doesn't stop there, google roulette fed me all of this:

This is in Vail!  That mural is not ironic!  Knock out a hole in the wall where that mural is and enjoy the view that you most certainly have.  And why for the umbrella?

Look!  Eddie Veddar inspired seating, how quaint.

For a modern twist on the ski chalet, try ignoring the space you're working with.  Oh, and don't bother with making your curtains reach the floor.

If your constantly concerned that you won't feel like royalty while relaxing in your cabin, you could rent this pad:

Seriously, What is going on here?

I searched high and low for some good pictures for you folks.  Even my tried and true design hotel resources couldn't save me this time.  However, I didn't want to leave you with BOTH of your eyes bleeding, so I'll spare your souls with a few shots from every blog on earth's fave, Suzy Hoodless.  Hey it's not a ski resort, but the place had "lodge" in the name, so I'm going with it:

Ok, you caught me:  Erin posted some of those pictures before.  But, hey, I'm about to go on vacation, what do you expect?

Thankfully, I'll be staying with my aunt, who is an interior designer with impeccable taste, so my digs should more closely resemble the latter rather than the former.

While I'm gone I've got some badassical guest blogging posts lined up for you:  Erin will be rockin her usual days next week, but Raina, from If the Lampshade Fits will be giving you a shoutout on Tuesday and NerF from Designer's Brew will be bringin it home on Thursday.  Stay Tuned!

Peace out Bitches!