Our Horrid Room: A Design Confession

For the last six months I have been boldly waving the banner of good design across your computer monitors as though I were sent down from the very heavens with a design vision gifted by God himself.  Turns out that my horse just isn't so high and my ivory tower is a really really dingy shade of beige.  Since moving into our new pad in May, our bedroom decor has fallen somewhere on the design scale between squatter chic and dorm room contemporary.  We do have heat, but we are missing the sweet black-light posters, so I'd classify our joint as single dude minimalism.  The tides are turning and it's time for a revamp.  Don't you guys want to give me your advice and opinions?  Of course you do.   You may want to squint or grab a nearby blanket, this is scarier than freddy kruger wrapped in a poltergeist:

Alright.  There it is.  Ok, the hardest part is over.  Now, let's dissect:  Yes, that is my brand new, and oh-so-comfortable, king-sized mattress on the floor. Note the distinguished layer of plastic surrounding it underneath and on all four sides as to keep the mattress clean.  How about those sexy ceiling fans?  I'll sleep with one eye open because I know you all would just kill to have them for yourself.  (yuck!)  And, yes, those are freshly painted paint samples on the wall.  Let's take a gander at the floor plan so you can get a better grasp of the task at hand:

You can see that the room is HUGE.  The longest wall is 20 feet, the width is 18.  The ceilings vary from 10 feet to 14 feet.  We have a fireplace (with a disastrous tile job), a sliding glass door, and 3 windows.  Here are some close-ups.  (please don't leave me!!)

view from the bathroom door

view from fireplace, closet door: left; bathroom door: right

a second view from the fireplace, left door is entrance from living room

So.  Here's the plan:  EVERYTHING in the room is going.  Except the mattress, which is getting a-real-live-big-girl bed frame (more on that later).  All of the walls are being painted white, with the exception of the fireplace wall, it's going to be black.  Sanders helped first hand with the colors, so I'm feeling really solid about my choices:

In my room, the simply white is fresh and crisp, the black jack is a perfect, rich, deep black.

While I have a mental image for my room, I haven't found any others online that portray it perfectly, but here are a couple of inspiration rooms:

I love the mixture of solid black and black pattern in this room with the big pop of color on the bed.  I also like how the print on the bedspread mimics the pattern on the wall without matching perfectly.  Oh, and I LOVE that this room is virtually empty other than a sleeping spot.  I will have night stands and a chair or two but NO DRESSERS.

I also like the feel of this room:

Ok, actually, it's the big disco ball in the right corner that rocks my world.  I have designs for a singular gigantic tacky sequined throw pillow that will mimic this sort of trashy-glam look.

Matt is making us a simple white bed frame (sorry, no photo).  It is simple.  It is white.  It is perfect.  Oh, and it doesn't have those shin-destroyers running around the edges.  And it looks like it is hovering 6 inches above ground.  

My headboard will not be this color, but it will be this scale:

Stay tuned for instructions on how to make your own tufted headboard.  Matt will be making us night stands not-unlike the ones in the picture above.

Picture the headboard above in this fabric:

YES!  That is high-gloss white vinyl.  The perfect marriage of tackiness and sophistication.

Do you feel like our room is missing some bling?  Me too.  Let's try this:

My grandmother's mirror, currently residing in my mother's guest bedroom.  le plan is to hang it over the fireplace.  Seriously, don't you all just want to die?

What about fabrics?  Ok, I picked the world's ugliest fabric for my bedspread and I LOVE IT SO MUCH:

Need a close up? You're the boss:

Awww, it's a sweet little castle scene.  Isn't that kinda perfect for me?  And look! Hot pink!  Lime green! Electric blue!  Expect to see those colors popping up in little spots throughout the finished space.

But what about curtains?  Don't worry, dudes, I've got that covered:

I'll be using Thanksgiving break to construct myself 3 roman shades out of this lovely striped fabric. While you're chowing down on Turkey and treating the mall like it's the last place to buy water during Armageddon, remember to pour one out for me as I work my little fingers to the nub on my sewing machine.  If I manage to avoid carpel tunnel, I'll also be making one gigantic white curtain to hang over the sliding glass doors.

Finally, the room is going to need some finishing touches:

I will continue the 6" high baseboards that currently run throughout the house and will be mounting all of the doors on barn door tracks.  (The ones I have look a little different, but you get the picture).  Oh, and all the doors will be painted black.

That's the plan so far.  I still have a big-fat dead space over by the room entrance, just below the big window as that couch is hitting the road.  I want to put a small sitting area near the fireplace, so it seems strange to have a second sitting area there.  Any suggestions?

Some other things I'm still wrestling with:  bed-side lighting.  Hanging lamps or wall mounted?  Don't say table!!!  I also need to pick out an area rug, but I want to get everything in the room first.

So, that's that.  Give the gift of joy and hope this holiday season:  I would LOVE some input and ideas before cracking open the first can of paint.

Meet Virginia

Perhaps the most rewarding thing about blogging is meeting new, exceptionally awesome people. Case in point: the other day, Karly and I got a lovely email from Virginia Fleck, who had heard about our site from super pal Sanders while buying paint at Benjamin Moore. Karly and I just about went into convulsions of joy when we realized Virginia is the artist behind these amazing recycled plastic bag mandalas seen in museums and public spaces all over Austin. Plus she was nominated for the Texas Prize, which is a HUGE bling bling deal around these parts. Plus she won the Juror's Award at the 2007 Texas Biennial (another really big deal). Check plus she works with teenagers on beautiful ecologically conscious projects. Oh, and she's a really nice lady, to boot. What's not to like about Virginia? virginia fleck

Well, if there is anything, I haven't figured it out yet. And certainly her artwork is enough to make you a believer in her cause: to "[reveal] the hidden beauty of the overlooked, disposable materials that continually pass through our hands... by collaging pieces of detritus from a consumerist society."

There is a long tradition of art made from trash -- Claes Oldenburg, Tim Noble & Sue Webster, even Marcel Duchamp, to name just a few -- but rarely is art made from castoffs so seductive and meditative. According to her artist's statement, Virginia's "mandalas made from plastic bags analyze the activity of consumerism as a spiritual encounter." I find it interesting that she breaks the cycle of numbing, comforting consumption, while translating that feeling into a more sublime experience of color and pattern and movement. The pleasure of viewing and thinking is intangible, but very powerful. See for yourself.

virginia fleck

Can you believe that these used to be castoff, mundane plastic bags? Do they make you want to rifle through your own collection of bags in hopes of making something snazzy? (You DO recycle your bags, right???) The titles are just as good as the visuals. Clockwise from top left: flower pop, allah, heartland, tween.

Let's take a closer look at some details, shall we?

virginia fleck

virginia fleck

Holy hours upon hours of work! The aptly titled, buymore, features bits of recognizable branding, like Footlocker, Target, and the like. Similarly, liberty co-opts familiar logos and subverts their original intentions to sell, sell, sell (or buy, buy, buy, depending on your perspective):

virginia fleck

virginia fleck

It's more than a little disconcerting to see Lady Liberty hoisting a shopping bag in her hands, ringed by blankly smiling happy faces. It's become pretty apparent in the wake of the recent economic collapse that our national identity is connected with the consumerist impulse, and that democracy can be bought in big box stores. As long as our capitalist society is vitally intact, then America lives to reign as Superpower another day. Ok, end of rant. Funny story: during the early days of the Iraq War and all of the anti-France sentiment, a certain person close to me I shall call "X" (no, not Hunny Bunny) refused to shop at Target because he thought it was French owned. It's not. X, you may have single-handedly killed the US economy.

Back on point! It's hard to see from the 500 square pixels on your screen, but Virginia's mandalas range from big to enormous, like 7 feet tall. Let's check them out in their natural habitat -- on the wall:

virginia fleck

At Austin City Hall.

virginia fleck

A groovy backlit version at the Whole Foods headquarters.

virginia fleck

A smaller version featured in Western Interiors. Don't you feel like you need one for your own wall?

Just when you thought Virginia and her work couldn't possibly get any cooler, you meet her teen proxies, the Angsty Teenage Eco Warriors:

angsty teengage eco warriors

Virginia has been working with teens for the past five years on ecologically conscious projects rooted in recycling. At this workshop, she taught them to make hip totes out of colored bags, as well as plastic bag mandala clothing.

angsty teengage eco warriors

I would call them adorable, but if memory serves, that is not the proper term for an angsty teenage lady. So I will just say that their interest in the environment is rad, and that their handmade clothing is amazing! Look at that mandala skirt, and I love the plastic bag tank top with matching belt modeled by the pink punk princess. What a great group! Virginia, your desire to educate the next generation in ecological practices brings a tear to my sentimental eye. I used to teach high school, and I know how important it is to start teaching kids to be self reliant skeptics as early as possible.

Oh, Virginia, I have such a crush on you. Your work is pretty AND smart, and you don't hoard all your goodness to yourself. Talented people everywhere, let this be a lesson to you: Spread the Wealth!

Coffee Table Decor, and a Contest!

Ahhh, the holidays!  Here they come, are you ready?  I'm sure that between basting the turkey, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and polishing silverware, you'll be far too busy to take in some holiday reading.  However, I bet that as soon as your cousin's husband's daughter from his first marriage starts running around the room on a sugar high, you'll want nothing more than to retreat to a comfy guest bedroom with a glass of wine bottle of bourbon and a good book.  Enter, moi.  I've compiled a list of the best coffee-table books on the market today, all for you.  Enjoy. Oh, and try not to slip into a tryptophan coma. PS.  Stay tuned at the end of this broadcast for a contest that is sure to rock your bookshelf-in-need-of-decor life!

Geometric: Graphic Art and Pattern; Nicole and Petra Kapitza; available at Kapitza; images via creative review

If a picture is worth a thousand words, here is a rough paraphrase of what each of the images in this book are screaming:  "I am insane hand-made patterns.  I am beautiful.  Put me on your walls.  I will rock your world"

If, for some insane reason, sexy geometric patterns aren't you're thing, perhaps you'd rather see who's on the other end of the line when you make your 1-900# calls:

phonesex by Phillip Toledano

Intimate portraits of phone sex operators in their homes.  Be careful! One of them might be you!

Finished already?  No?  Need decor porn instead (that is what you're here for, right)?  Try these:

Japanese decor books (I have no idea what they're called) available here: Yvestown Shop

The lovely thing about these books - yes, I've actually touched their goodness first hand - is that they profile wacky interiors and exteriors of REAL people.  They are not always as glamorous as the shelter mag pictures we've become accustomed to, but, gosh dangit, those homes are in my budget.

Once you're done reading Japanese decor trends, how about you make some Japanese clothes?

Guess what?  I don't know what this is called either, but I found it here: Clementine's flickr

Ahhh, yes, the perfect coffee table book.  It's pretty, it looks like high-art, and your guests will never understand a word.  Love love love.

Ready to get back to decor?

How they work by 010 Publishers (image via yatzer)

A perfect opportunity to watch people more talented and productive than you while lounging on your sofa.  Bonus if you read this while eating a bag of chips.

If you need to feel better about yourself again, how about this little gem that profiles the interiors of brothels in Alemanha:

via Coisas de Maria

I know, I know, I could have done an entire post about this book alone.  Seriously, how rad are those rooms? You bitches know that I would live in any one of them.  Especially bottom left, swoon..

Ut-Oh, I smell a  fascist regime coming through to break up all our fun-time:

Faces of Evil : Faces of a Terrifying Dictatorship via cyanatrendland

Artist Hans Weishaupul created the faces of dictators over the past 100 years by compiling countless tiny, specially shot portraits of the citizens of the country the dictator ruled over.  Now, how's that for Dictator Chic?  This would be the perfect companion to my panther coffee table

And finally, because we are not living under a totalitarian regime, as promised, I give you, la contest:

In honor of her 35th birthday (she doesn't look a day over 29!) My good friend, Vickie Howell, is hosting a contest on her site.  Hooray!  She's giving away THIRTY FIVE BOOKS in honor of the big occasion.  Does this beat the 80's party she threw for her 30th? I don't know, but I think it's pretty darned awesome none-the-less.  You cats have until the 25th to score big, then it's light's out.

PS. I call 500 chairs!