Dear Architectural Digest

I just got my May issue and the cover looks mighty familiar:

That's because I posted another view of that room over two months ago:

Translation: you should hire me to do art direction, or trend forecasting (or just hang out at your offices and look cool while I sip martinis with Margaret Russell), because I can see at least two months into the future... although you probably planned this issue three months ago. So maybe that means I can see one month into the past?

Did I just talk myself out of a job?

Wherein You Become Convinced of My Insanity

I get so bored with picture after picture of beautifully styled, perfectly inhabitable, regular old rooms. That's why lately I've found myself branching out little by little, creeping at the fringes of bizarre traditional decor. Am I rushing to cover my walls in acres of toile? Not yet... although if I had a paying client you can bet I might try to convince them to do it. Just look how cozy this David Netto room is (my fave part is the tripod and camera in the mirror... is that a Hassy?).

But honestly, I like toile when it gets weirder.

This room swathed in Manuel Canovas fabrics is totally the neotrad version of the nutty Danish modern camouflage room I posted Friday. John Boehner and his orange fauxtan are probably hiding in there somewhere.

Ok, so maybe this is a little too weird, like grandma stopped taking her meds again. But there are some amazing details in here. Hello, swan bed!

Now this is good. For the moment let's gloss over the fact that if I found myself in this room, I might be afraid to touch anything lest I besmirch those very expensive fabrics with my proletarian fingers. Would I change a few details about the decor? Mos def. For starters I'd add this:

Hendrik Kerstens knows it's better to take tradition with a dose of humor.

Black and White and Mine All Over

As much as I feel daffodil yellow and spring green demanding that I redecorate my entire home in a blaze of screaming color, I am ever so slightly resistant. Actually, I'm totally digging my heels in (today). I think I can handle a little color here and there -- a floral pillow maybe, or perhaps even a fancy new chair (just wait 'til you see my latest thriftacular find) -- but I know what I never tire of is black and white. So cool, so classic. So endlessly versatile. I always like it in really graphic prints so it comes off as op poppy, not tired and droopy. Check it.

Yeah, I know. THE CHAIR.

Two houses, same zebraesque fabric:

If I lived here, I would probably want to redecorate every other day, but right now I kind of love it. Wait, now I'm talking myself back into liking color...

I like all of it. What's happening to me? Am I secretly a waspy sailor with a cottage in the Hamptons? I hate myself already.

This is what I will wear whilst sailing my 500 foot yacht around the world. Actually, I just snagged this suit from Old Navy and it's pretty dope. Now I just need to do 80,000 leg lifts.

Sorry to make you read the most disjointed post in the history of DC. Obviously I am feeling some style conflict. There's this big sea change blowing in and I'm not quite on board. Color scares me. Maybe it's because my adventures in paint colors have often ended badly -- like macaroni schoolbus bathroom of death badly. But other times, not so badly. I did like my red dining room... for about 6 months. And then I was so fatigued by the COLOR that I painted it -- hold your breath -- black and white.

What do you dudes think? Are you prepared to go whole hog colortastic? Am I just being a wuss?

[Elle Decor, Diamond Barratta]