Pythagorean Dreams

Remember way back to evil Wednesday when I was afflicted with the grumble grumbles? Well, this is me today:

Yes, the clouds have parted and now I am summoning the spirit of Mother Earth atop a table mountain, in front of the glorious sea. Ok, not really. My stomach is triple that size and I am hunkered down atop a pillow mountain in front of my ancient computer, but you get the drift. Anyway, I'm working on seeing things differently, shifting my perspective, trying for a more multifacted outlook.

Well, that was officially the wost segue I have ever written for a post. Ignore my babbling and check out these crazy faceted finds that are sure to move you towards a whole new sense of geometry. Euclid would be proud.

This intergalactic planetary telescope by Electronic Miracles is sure to change your frame of reference. Hopefully it comes with that dress, too.

Who knows what kinds of terrestrial delights one might spy through the scope? Tout va Bien Cabinet at Bd Barcelona.

I wouldn't be surprised if it showed you an asteroid belt of these Fractal Tables by Platform.

Kick back and chillax 21st century Grandma style in this Wing Chair by Hannes Grebin.

This super sharp Cutt flatware series by Buchegger Denoth Feichtner Design of Austria is likely to bring a whole new angle to the same old dinner.

Change your setting Aranda/Lasch style with panoramic displays of crazy colonies.

Hold everything with these finely crafted wood case pieces by Khai Lew.

Comfy seating is most important. Slip off your very cute yellow heels and sink into this leather Bucky Ball Beanbag by Mathieu Lehanneur.

I think I'm going to bring my telescope and beanbag and squat at the Manresa City Hall in Spain. I'm sure the view would be most enlightening. Who's with me? I'm sure the neighbors wouldn't mind at all.

Anatomy Lesson

So I know you people are tired of hearing about how I'm a baby incubator and blah, blah, blah, but occasionally it affects my life, and stuff happens that I want to write about. Case in point: The Hunny and I started Lamaze classes, and so far they are utterly useless for me, but The Hunny has definitely had his big baby blues opened to a whole new world. Last class the teacher held up a bunch of anatomy charts showing what happens to a lady's innards as the baby grows, and the Hunny's eyes got bigger and bigger. Whither yon stomach, intestines and bladder? Questions for the ages. Anyway, while he was busy trying to contain his fear, I was thinking, Damn, wish I had some of those charts to hang at my house!

Ok, so the charts in our class were more of the 7th grade than 19th century persuasion, but how great is this vignette in Jay Walker's crazytown house?

I think this urinary Tract WALLPAPER by Shannon Wright would help Hunny to better appreciate my precious bodily fluids. Having a baby = 862 extra trips to the bathroom during the night.

Much like me, this dude has boys on the brain. Perhaps I should name our bouncing baby Lance, Emil or Albert? Image courtesy of OWI.

Anatomical print chairs and pillows by AK-LH remind me to exercise proper posture when sitting. Via Apartment Therapy.

Dear God (or whoever), please tell me my insides do not look like these balloon sculptures by Paul Graves!

I think the waxy fetus twins might be among the least disturbing decorations in this apartment photographed by The Selby

In case you can't tell, these days I'm a hemisphere short of a full brain shaker set...

My body may be stretched to the max, but my heart is full of a whole lotta love right now. Cute (and cheap!) screenprint that inspires my grossly sentimental side -- which is obviously caused my a hormonal overload, right? -- by Hybrid Home.

Panic Attraction

OH MY GOD, the swine flu is coming! The swiiiiiine fluuuuu! Everybody FREAK OUT. RUN. HIDE!!!!!!!! Remember SARS? The avian flu? West Nile virus? All those other pandemics that resulted more in spiked ratings for the major news networks than in spiked fevers for you and me? Well, this just in: THE SWINE FLU IS NO MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE REGULAR FLU. Sure, the flu sucks -- just ask Karly. Hell, she may have even had the swine flu for all we know, but she is still alive (trust me on this. I'm way too lazy to write posts for her).

So just chill, panicked people. Besides, wouldn't you rather look like this:

Than this?

I mean, those masks are just tacky, and what is the point of touching your infected mask to another infected mask? It's like two nasty sponges mingling in a disgusting, germy sex dance. Gross.

And really, what do we have against viruses anyway? They're kind of pretty.

Awwww, look at that cuddly little guy floating around in there! Maybe the swine flu is just looking for love in all the wrong places? So, today let us celebrate the beauty of nature's most resilient replicator in all its inspired glory. This flu's for you.

Viruses really are elegant examples of design. Stuff some DNA in a hard protein casing, and voila: Bacteriophagearrific! Even Philippe Starck knew to borrow from the basics -- his virus-inspired juicer for Alessi remains one of his most classic creations.

And really, no one can blame little ol' DNA for the flu. Because ATCG combined is one bad motherfu -- What? I'm just talking 'bout the building blocks of life! DNA Lamps by Next.

What that DNA can do is just magical -- slimey oozy gooey, groovy. New Order Chair by Jerszy Seymour for Vitra.

And who's afraid of a few extra mutations here and there? There's just more to snuggle up to, in my opinion. Chernobyl Doll by Jaime Pitarch.

This pretty shiny chair by Richard Hutten looks so much like our swine flu buddy that it should be named "Swiney for your Heiny." I think it has a ring to it, don't you?

Check out the Contamination series of ceramics by Tamsin Van Essin. Ok, so the designs were inspired by bacterial colonies, and I really have no clue how bacteria work except that they're anaerobic or something like that (bio was a LONG time ago, ok?), but today bacteria is also getting a free pass. E Coli = E Cool!

Bom chicka bom bom, these aluminum cast tables from Reddish Studio make sickly look sexy.

Pretty soon the whole world is going to look like this anyway, so there's really no use fighting the new germ order. Third Space by the Academy of Fine Arts in Munich.

So, throw away all those creepy masks and pesky latex gloves, and join the viral revolution. Glove Lamp by Katarina Britse.

And while you're at it, kiss a pig for me.