Trend Spotting: Garland

As you already know, everyday is a party here at DC headquarters.  Unfortunately, the South South Austin branch of our conglomeration is not reflecting this ideology all too well.  Enter, a trend I've been spotting all over the web:  Garland.  Both festive and feminine, these lovely paper cutouts say "Yeah, it's Wednesday, why don't you just go ahead and get your groove on?"

via Please Sir

The flag banner in it's most basic form.  Can't you just smell the turkey legs and screaming children?

Artist Sophie Cuvelier juxtaposes the flag banner hype with quite interiors:

The small scale of her hand cut pieces become blissfully overwhelming when produced en masse. I can see these in every single room of my house.  If only I had the patience and time it must take to assemble these suckers. 

Wedding stylist Rebecca Thuss  Brings the jamz with her large scale garland alter.  I am wondering how my husband and mother will feel if I file for divorce so that I may remarry (same man) under this insane piece.  I will not be wearing that blue dress, though.

For a totally over-powering paper cutout experience, check out the works of stylist Zoe Bradley  her garland displays are to-die-for and probably even bring window-dresser-to-the-stars, Simon Doonan, to his Burberry knees. 

Zoe combines boxes, bags, paper and bows to make a Karly-Flavored dream display

If you need to water down your garland fashion for everyday wear, perhaps something like this is a bit more your style:

This garland inspired necklace from flickr user Vera Joao creates an instant traveling party.  Perfect for running errands or taking your cats to the vet. 

One of my very favorite flag banner pieces is this print by artist Elisabeth Dunker.  It has been my desktop image for as long as I can remember, one day I will own it in the flesh but for now it cheers me up every time I hop on my computer (which is almost every second of the day).  Note:  much more inspiring than a keep calm and carry on poster/pillow/towel/trash can liner.

You may remember that I have a smallish obsession with twins, when twin brothers Marc and Ian Hundley were featured on the Selby with their garland I almost fainted.  Seriously, why don't you just throw Christain Bale into the shot so I can be completely sent over the edge?

If like me your heart rate has excelled to a no-longer healthy pace and your head is spinning with visions of garland throughout your house but you find the task of construction a bit daunting, you can always visit our fine friends at Etsy:

clockwise from top left: cupcake garland by etsy user Frivolous Whimsey; Garland of Paper Flowers by Millalove; Royal Garland and Royal Garland detail by Royalbuffet; Baby Mama Papel Picado by Aymujer

While (thank god) I don't have a use for the Baby Mama garland, I think it's probably one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  Millalove's paper flowers are so delightfully perfect. I can barely fold a booklet and this gal is whipping out paper dalias like it's nobody's business.

I'm a pretty crafty lady, but the one quality I possess that outweighs my creativity is my aversion to tedium - I'm willing to bet a million dollars that I never knit an entire scarf - so it's good to know that these Etsy kids have my back and are willing to bring the party while I kick back and spike the punch.

+++++

UPDATE!  2 of our lovely readers reminded us about these lovely flag banners:

Woodley Park Zoo welcomes her new Feesh flag banner style.  I dare you to find a cuter fish welcome sign.

And thank you, Anna, for reminding me about my favorite Ikea fabric (how could I forget????)!!!  

Resolving to Tear. It. Up.

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions.  Seriously, I have enough guilt already, I don't need to make myself feel even worse by failing to cease one of my (really not that bad) vices.  Besides, when was the last time you ran into someone in August who looked all crazy fit and they said "yeah, it was my New Year's resolution to stop drinking, eat healthy, and go to the gym"?  Don't lie, it was never.

I do think, however, that the New Year is a grand time to look back on the last year to consider what you've accomplished and compare that to what you'd like to achieve.  This is where the drinking comes in.  Once you've nursed your hangover it's time to get crackin.  I have lots of goals delusions of grandure both personal and professional for 2009 but I also have a ridiculous list of crap I need to take care of around the house.  Mainly, some big, expensive, overly-involved renovations.  I swear on all things holy, I will not let 2010 peak it's ugly head around the corner until my guest bathroom is completely gutted and looks a little more like one of these rooms:

Because I'm working with a laughable budget and Matt is a genius with concrete, I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of this going on.  Minus the lame bench and utterly useless mini-counter.

Overt your eyes from the vassal sinks and focus on the counter, tub and poufy things.  See, concrete, not so bad. 

But then again, I do love the idea of a concrete floor and tub juxtaposed against a wooden counter:

Murdock Young

Don't give me none of your "where do you put your junk" jive talk.  Here are some solutions:

Living Etc

Nothing makes my heart race like neatly folded, matching linens.  Sigh. Of course, one day I'm going to have a gaggle of kids running hay-wire around this joint so I may need something a bit more practical:

Nice.  But in dream fantasy land, this Nakashima style counter would be the crown jewel of my bath:

I know, I know, why bother even showing another bathroom after this, it's potty perfection.  But we'll move on none-the-less:

Living Etc

Lemme tell you,  I really don't like chandeliers in bathrooms.  And don't try to sell me on those new-fangled chandelier shower heads either, they're even worse.  It's like, I'm trying to relax and take a bath then BAMB!  I'm assaulted with an electrocution fantasy.  You're talking to a girl who shuts the toilet lid when she blow-dries her hair, so, nope, no convincing.

Here are some other things I don't want in my salle de bain:

• Glass or fancy painted vassal sinks.  Or any other vassal sinks.  I'm ok with raised sinks, but no bowls, please.
• Anything not gold.  
• A big deep cabinet, common in rentals.  Hey home builders:  these things are too deep.  All the stuff in the front gets knocked over when we're trying to reach to the back.  A cabinet should be no deeper than a towel folded in quarters (the only way to fold a towel, right?)
• pedestal sinks.  pretty, yes, functional, no.

Here is what I do like:

point click home

God give me the strength not to knock down all the walls in my home in order to achieve this look.  Breathtaking.  And, well, are we sure the kids will need cabinet doors?

Since I don't have the stunning view, a wall treatment link this should do the trick:

I'm going to pass on the clock and the embroidered "sanctuary" towels.  Gross.

A big, bold shower curtain should liven up the joint, too:

via decorology

While I'm not a fan of the country-cute, I'm not too mad at the idea of patch-work.  What I really love about this curtain is the scale.  I want mine to reach all the way to the top of my 10-foot ceiling.  Lika-so:

Ok, you got me:  it's not a bathroom, but that is EXACTLY what I want my shower curtain to look like.

And it shall surround this tub:

Gruppo Treesse

I love how the legs look all robot-y.  Ok, ok, we're scratching everything and moving in a new direction:  Gold Transformers!  I want everything to look like a giant pixelated transformer dipped in gold.  Where are my smelling salts??!!

Philippe Starck via Desire to Inspire

If I can't wrangle a bunch of shiny robot toiletries, this Starck tub should fill the void.

Or, I could just scrap the tup altogether:

Left: Murdock Young; Right: Sorry dude, I can't remember where I found this.

Ok, so there's a tub on the left, but that oval glass shower is clearly the star.  And yes, I know, I know, kids need a tub.  What's with those babies, why can't they just shower like normal people?  And get jobs?

When I was in Virginia in October, my mom and I went to go pick out faucets for her renovation project. Surprisingly, she didn't choose any of my selections:

Note:  that dolphin comes in gold.

Who says no to a gilded dragon head faucet?  A crazy mother with "professional architects" that's who.  Whateves ma, you're going to be crying a river of tears when we have the renovation face-off.

And finally, just so you can get a firm grip on what I'm up against, here's the dreaded bathroom as it stands today:

See, it's going to be great, so long as we get rid of every. single. thing. in there.

There you have it, 2009 goal numero uno.   Of course, if I were going to make a real-life, honest-to-gosh resolution, it would surly be one that all of you would appreciate:  I would work on my spelling.  But, hey, I've managed 30 years without knowing the difference between sense and since, what's one more?   

Playmania

Remember when the holidays were fun and awesome and filled with toys? My brother and I were so freaking excited on Christmas Eve that we staged reconnaissance missions to determine the specific nature of our gifts piled high beneath the tree. One of us (not me) may or may not have gone a bit far by actually unwrapping said gifts and PEEKING beneath the wrapping paper. I'm sure my brother will be annoyed that I'm ratting him out, but dude -- dad totally knows! It doesn't take a forensics expert to recognize that grubby fingerprints on mangled tape = one excited little brother. In an effort to recapture that sweet feeling of childish anticipation I am showering you with good time gifts today. Couldn't we all use a little more fun in our lives?

How much better is a chocolate wrench than a metal one? A lot. Just try eating a metal wrench... gross! I'm not sure these would work on real nuts and bolts, but thankfully there are chocolate versions included in the set. Yes, chocolate nuts.

Speaking of yummy treats, who knew design could be so delicious? Check out this edible version of an iconic Eames house by chocolatier, Thomas Haas. You can even see the recipe here. By the way, how does one grow up to be a chocolatier? I feel like I missed my calling.

The design savvy would also enjoy unwrapping these designer dolls by Olivia Lee. Choose from Empress of Architecture: Zaha Hadid, King of Plastic: Karim Rashid, and Chief of Ceramic: Jaime Hayon. The dolls are supposed to caricature the designers' personalities while also evoking the styles of their products. All I know is I always thought that Jaime is a cute and cuddly little dollypants.

I bet these Baby Cubs by Insurgent Wilderness Gruppo would satisfy your deep, dark bloodlust for adorable animal misfits. Eyeballs on a spit and blood spattered polar bear cubs, oh my! These dolls may be for grown up children only.

Remember how much cooler Nintendo was before the Wii? Just kidding... sort of. Get back to really basic with a lego rendering of Duckhunt. I love this inanimate tableau of lego taxidermy because those stupid ducks were hard to hit, what with their zigging and zagging. Can you tell I was never a gamer? If you can't master Duckhunt, you're kind of a loser.

If you have some extra legos left over after playing games, why not try to be a real champion? Whosoever can duplicate this bust of Freddie Mercury shall be bestowed with the title of Lego Queen (you, too, dudes).

Check out what this guy did with some blocks -- made a space invaders cutting board! You can even buy a handmade version, which they repeatedly and vehemently warn is only hand washable. I have included an illustration to reinforce their point, and also to point out that homeboy has a Linux sign over his sink. Hubby would approve.

If you ever hoped and prayed to find a Red Ryder BB gun under the tree, maybe you'll find this upgrade even more alluring. Hellz yes, that is a My Little Pony AR-15 with a purple night vision scope. Lucky Care Bear body armor sold separately.

You remember in The Christmas Story when Ralphie gets that big pink floppy eared bunny suit and, despite his abject misery, actually has to wear it? Don't do that to your kids. Sure, you might think this pea green knitted Yoda hat is cute, but will they?

On the other hand, everyone wants a knitted digestive tract. Everyone.

You know what else everyone wants? This crazy cute Monster Skin Rug by Joshua Longo. You should take a look at some of his other toothsome, deranged creatures. I would have included them, but I decided this should be a special holiday family post. Except for the chocolate nuts.

The holidays are all about spreading the love, so don't forget to include your furry friends in the gift giving process. Perhaps your feline would enjoy a collapsable cardboard Cat Playhouse. Obviously Clint is lovin' every minute of it. Oh yeah. I think I would have some Christmas claw marks if I tried to shove my half feral little buddy down the hatch, but that's just me.

Are you feeling the holiday sprit now? Feel like playing a game? Tell me about some of your favorite holiday presents and adventures. I live for your witty and incisive comments. No, really, I do.