MLS House Tour: Part the Second

Today is the day! At 10 am we close on New House, and Old House goes on the market. I have ulcers all up in my mouth and I'm no longer sleeping. So if you want to buy this house and put me out of my misery, leave a comment and I'll email to confirm your stalker free motives. I don't want no one sneaking in at night and stealing all my good shoes. You've seen the public parts of our house. Now I'd like to introduce you to the private parts -- warts and all. I crack myself up! Anyway, here is where you find out that we have actual bathrooms. We even have bedrooms, most of which have never been featured on this here blog. That's because they were half finished and covered in laundry drifts, but I scrambled to make it all kind of prettyish.

So here it is. Cross your fingers, y'all. We've got to sell this house. Pronto.

And there you have it. I'm getting kinda teary eyed over our little house -- lots of wonderful things happened here.

Some bad things may have happened, too. Like choosing lampshades that are too small, and like forgetting to remove the scale from our bedroom before I photographed it for the MLS.

Oh well. If you didn't already know, size matters.

MLS House Tour Part 1

Thursday our house goes on the market and I am shitting bullets. Or bricks. Or sweating. Or all of the above. I'm not sure how we're supposed to survive a parade of strangers traipsing through our supposedly spotless home at all hours when we own a toddler who naps and makes messes, period. If you have any experience with this, please help me. On to the tour -- today I'm featuring the public spaces. Now, you will be inclined to redecorate and nitpick but rest assured that I have already considered 1000x over every criticism you may levy against my "staging." Having the entire house clean at once and then photographing it all before the kidlet destroyed it was no easy task. Trying to appeal to buyers who do not share my taste in odd furnishings stumped me more than once. So with that in mind, let's do this.

 And that concludes our first portion of the tour. Come back Thursday to see what I forgot to remove from the master bedroom before I photographed it...

If I don't laugh at myself, I might just cry.

We Bought a House!

Yes. What could be more exciting, save winning the Nobel Prize -- or perhaps waking to discover that my body is 18 again yet my mind is still 35? Those two things will probably never happen, so new house wins. In all seriousness, we are uber excited but also having some bittersweet moments. We miss our fabulous neighbors already, and are plagued by sad musings about our good ol' 60s rancher. Plus we are exhausted and my back is broken (18 year old body? please?). We have lots of work to do here before our house goes on the market early next week (gasp!), plus we have renovations to schedule and complete on the new house. The new house that closes in a week. Now you know why my posts have been so short and shitty of late. Sorry, dudes. Did I mention that new house wins?

Speaking of, let's tour that sucker and think about what must be done to make it habitable.

Yep. It's that one. So, I got the 70s house I always wanted, except that it's not exactly the 70s house I always wanted. What can I say? The extra bedroom, culdesac, greenbelt, and schools, appealed to my 35 year old mind. Being able to walk to Whole Foods doesn't hurt, either. Someone please send me a new paint scheme. Stat.

It has 20 foot ceilings and nice big windows. With bars on them. Because the sellers are NUTS. So, the floor is coming out -- natural oak, yes? I am repainting, including the fireplace. Neutral color suggestions, please????? And I'm on the fence about the fans... It is very hot in Texas, ya'll. Should I raise them? Get white fans? Burn them?Just kidding. The last one is not an option.

Oh boy. This is a biggie. I would love to rip it allll out, but... I can't. I have to prioritize, and the new wood floors are going to kill us. So, do I paint the cabinets white, change the backsplash and live with it? Do I spend a little more to reface the cabinets? Or do I save for the next FIVE YEARS and rip out the whole thing? ps: the tile and granite are not awesome but not horrible, either.

I'm considering using this as our main dining area and using the real (and small) dining room as a study/library. What do you think? Are dining rooms a colossal waste of space? And don't worry -- THE BARS MUST GO.

Tim Gunn would be concerned about the taste level here.

The master was horribly photographed, but it has a huge window seat. New floors are coming.

The master bath is actually enormous, with HUGE closets. Yay!!! Paint the cabinets, new tile (someday).

Detached garage, covered patio with skylights.

I am a sucker for a huge shady yard.

Ok, that's the tour. My mind is whirling with possibilities. I am thinking 20s as inspiration -- a mix of dark antiques, classic deco, and some leggy Jacques Adnet type pieces to lighten it up. Ok, and maybe the odd 50s Guariche. And maybe some brassy chromey 70s pieces.

Who am I kidding? It will be eclectic. Whatever that means.