Ikea, I Hate to Love You

I pretty much don't buy new things. Mostly it's because I'm cheap, but when I'm making some pretense at self righteousness (usually when trying to justify the purchase of yet another thrifted chair to the Hunny), I say that I'm saving the earth. Pretty much single handedly. Ok, Karly helps, too. However, we're remodeling our kitchen, and gosh darn it's hard to thrift built in cabinets. Plus we're furnishing/decorating a nursery, and used sheets and rugs for le bebe just won't work for me. This newfound taste for uh, newness, has resulted in THREE trips to Ikea in the past week alone. If you've never been to an Ikea store, just know that a) there is never one conveniently located by your house and b) it takes hours just to navigate the showroom labyrinth.

You see, Ikea's "floorplan" is actually a nefarious plot designed to keep you trapped within the store for the longest possible time without actually causing brain damage. But I can tell you, it comes damn close. So today, I'm going to shower you with all the Ikea knowledge I've gleaned over the past few months of epic trips, in the vain hope that I might spot some goodies for you and prevent Ikea overload should you ever step into the store yourself. Even so, it might be best to tie a rope to your car, all Poltergeist style. Just in case.

First of all, what in the world have I bought there? Well, this corner of our nursery (yes, there is a bed in our nursery, but don't worry -- there's a crib, too) features a Ludde sheepskin on the rocker ($49.95), the Stockholm nubby throw ($29.99), a pair of black Jorun pillows ($14.99 ea), and linen Aina curtains ($49.99 for 2). Sorry, Le Tigre is not available at Ikea. I have to say that of all these items, I think the curtains are a steal. They're linen, 8 ft tall with rod pockets in the back and faux pinch pleats in the front. Good deal.

Additionally, I've bought a bazillion dollars worth of kitchen stuff there, including Abstrakt white cabinets and Nexus brown black cabinets. (You can read all about my obsession with both in this post.) I've been shopping for some kitchen accessories to go with, and I think these Asker egg shaped cups on rails are pretty swift. They also look nice in this cute office, which is sadly marred by that creepy "Hello." Link via Apartment Therapy.

And, of course, I love my giant wicker beehive light ($89.99 for the biggun) that hangs in our dining room, which currently looks nothing like this. At all.

In addition to all these purchases, my pinched pocketbook lusts after -- but will probably not buy -- the following items:

Blob lights! Ok, I might actually buy a pair of these bad boys because THE HUNNY LIKES THEM. This does not happen. Ever. Ikea Jonisk, $49.99. Awesome proportions -- it's big.

I would also lurve to have an entirely new patio set... alas, I am broke. But if you're shopping for a giant umbrella, Ikea has some super fantastic ones. This cantilevered badass is HUGE. Ikea Karlso, $129.00 for 10 feet of shade.

Ikea also rolled out these new deck chairs for the summer season. Brommo has all the elements of a classic: clean lines, decent construction, and it's comfy. Plus you gotta love a good rope chair. $59.99.

You could always imitate the effervescent Ione Skye and buy these lounge chairs for your outdoor wonderland. Karl Skrona is kinda pricey at $169, but if it's good enough for ex Mrs. David Netto... (Netto, what were you thinking, anyway? Ione is adorable!)

If you're among the rich and famous and have $129 to burn on ONE chair, the Ange is Salternini sweet. Oh, and Karly and I would each like a set of six while you're at it. Thanks!

Anna from Door Sixteen has the Karlstad couch, and I have to say that sucker is super comfortable! Another friend has the same sofa in a sectional configuration, and I am sorely tempted to sell my leather sofas and buy one, too. It's that squishy good. Do yourself a favor and buy the best fabric they have. $599 for gray wool flannel.

One of Ikea's greatest strengths is probably their textiles; the rugs in particular are priced well considering the materials and patterns. Clockwise from top left: 1) Admete, two sided cotton runner, $19. 2) Flatweave Jorun, two sided wool, $179. 3) Tarnby, braided jute $99 (much nicer in person -- very thick). 4) Stockholm, wool, $229.

They had some pretty cute new duvet covers when I was there, too. Love this one in a child's room, styled by Creature Comforts. Unni Slinga, $19.99 for duvet cover and two pillowcases.

Ikea's other greatest strength is its straight up cheapness when it comes to the basics:

Remember my last post about Blobs where I waxed hateful on Damien Hirst and how damn much money he makes for "designing" things like the light configuration in this home? Well, eight Ikea lights later and you've got your very own Damien Hirst design. Left: Lillholmen, $9.99. Right: Fado, $29.99. Boo ya!

So, in closing, I would like to summarize all the things I like about Ikea: 1) It's cheap. 2) Sometimes it's cool. 3) They have great customer service, as in they will take ANYTHING back. Are you listening muthereffing Target? I'm also in love with tiny Bob, the kitchen designer at the Austin store, and Kumar, the most excellent customer service dude, ever. 4) They have this new deal where using your debit card nets you a 3% credit on your next trip. Yay! Free money! 5) They only have reusable bags -- no disposable plastic nasties. 7) "Ice cream" cones. 6) Occasionally they give their products very funny names, like this corkscrew:

But it's not all sweet smelling rosy stuff. There are things I hate about Ikea, too. 1) It's far away. 2) It's really far away. 3) The zombies:

If you've ever been to a brick and mortar Ikea store, then you know eactly what I'm talking about.

Round Top Round UP Part Deux

Do you remember once upon a time last Monday when I told you all about my magical trip to the Round Top flea market?  And remember how you, me and everyone we knew cried a river of tears over my loss of the THREE FOOT TALL brass horsey?  Well, guess what:

S-U-C-C-E-S-S spells success, homies.

That's right.  Yesterday Erin, Patrick and I braved hurricane force winds to make our ways to the Shangri La that is Round Top.  Patrick and Erin may have been a bit peeved at me darting through the fields early in the day to find my one true love but I was too focused to take notice.  Besides, they were too high on Kolaches to really care.

Let's take a look at the stud in his forever home:

Now, everyone, please take a moment to compose a lovely comment shout-out to my mother, aka, Connie who is a wise an loving woman.  So wise, in fact, that after seeing my post on Monday thought that the pony, aka 'lil Patrick, would make a lovely birthday gift for her soon-to-be 31 year-old daughter.  Thanks Ma!

The day was off to a running start (as previously mentioned).  We were greeted by these loving fellows, which I took as proof positive that my horse was still in the field for me to find, love, and take home.

Uncle Sam assured me that I was on the right path

After a greeting from horseys and Sam, we were off on a Magical Mystery Tour of the Fields

We spotted this little clown pouf that begged to be purchased as a gift for either Erin or Jennifer's nursery.  I couldn't decide between the two, so neither of them got it.  Ha.

Patrick, Erin and I all simultaneously choked on our funnel cakes when we saw this oil painting, but at $450 it was not to be for any of us.

This stately gentleman was more affordable, but is he really life-long friend quality?

I can always find my life-long friend in one of these, but, well, I just didn't feel like buying it.

These sweet swans bid us adieu from our final day at Round Top.  Patrick tried to smuggle one of their nest cigars but was run out of the booth by it's meth addict proprietor.  Whatever.

So.  What did we come home with - other than the most beautiful pony on the planet, achy backs, sunburns, and sore feet?

Erin adopted this sweet little panther for her and Ben's baby making nest

This poorly photographed, Adler-esque Horsey is now living on my bedroom fireplace mantel.  Note:  almost everything I bought today had a horse on it, except for this:

A fishy belt buckle for Matty Bear.  What kind of wife would I be if I didn't bring him back a prize in thanks for letting us drive his death-trap van to the flea?

And this: GUM WRAPPER SWAN!!  What are you?  What is your purpose?  I don't know, but you sure look pretty on my dining table.

DISCLAIMER: this next find was not from Round Top:

OK, I'm really sorry to break up the round top bliss with a non-round top find, but I HAVE to tell you about this lamp.  I was driving down the street the other day, which just so happened to be large-collection pick-up day, and some whack-job-crazy-pants put this lamp out on the street for the trash collectors to pick up. What?!!  Now it is mine and I will love it forever and always.  Or until I find a bigger, fancier arc lamp.

PS. sorry about the fireplace, I still need to retile it. And those vertical blinds are the bane of my existance, I promise they will be gone by the next time you see a photo of this room.

This Post was co-written by Patrick

The end.

Round Top Round Up

Last Friday was my first visit of the season to the semiannual Round Top Flea Market.  With fields of dusty goods as far as the eye can see, it is a heaven that requires several days to sort though.  My normal wing-ladies, Hope, Jen and Erin were all indisposed with trips to Hawaii and new born babies so I brought a new copilot, Diana, who was a Round Top virgin.  I must say, she did an excellent job keeping up with me as I darted through the fields, avoiding the vendors whom I know to have booths filled with over priced goods or hand painted crafts.  Our trip began with a bang as we were greeted by this lovely fellow:

The purpose of this giant peacock remains unknown, but it certainly was a pleasure to cross his path.  We felt the day was off to a good start and we were not wrong, shortly thereafter we stumbled across this pair of lamps:

At $50 for the set they were mine for the taking.  Matt thinks they look like popcorn poppers, but I don't care because they look darling in my guest bedroom.  Hopefully my visitors like to read under a nice orange glow.

The very same vendor had this odd little plastic seat, like the peacock, we could not determine it's function, but it was mighty cute all the same.

This little tulip table and chair set called my name, but, alas, I already have 3 extra tables in my house with no purpose what-so-ever, so I had to pass.

I spotted lots of stainless commercial kitchen goodies, which gave me hope and promise for the budget stainless kitchen remodel of my dreams.

I was truly smitten over this gigantic gold coin and even imagined a few prime spots for it in my house but I didn't trust it's authenticity of being vintage so I kept movin.

Only a few booths down from the giant coin was this Native American Head, oh how I loved it so.  It was in a notoriously expensive booth so I didn't even bother inquiring about the price, though.

This hoop chair cost more than the bathroom remodel I'm planning, so I snapped a picture and ran.

Diana eagle-eyed this partition and imagined its possibilities as a headboard, I thought the idea was GENIUS, mostly because it is gold, but purchasing it would have drained her last dollar and it wasn't even noon yet. 

I snapped a picture of this creepy taxidermy display in honor of Hope, who certainly would have spilled her ice-tea slushy down her shirt had she gotten the chance to see it.

This fearsome bust made me quite angry with myself for having passed up a similar statue only weeks ago at the thrift store.  If only I'd thought about how darling he would look covered in a thousand million necklaces.

Now THIS piece was truly unbelievable and the photo does it no justice at all.  It is a 3' tall lamp / fountain / vase and it totally and completely rocked my world.  Had it not sported a $300 price tag, I would be typing beneath it's heavenly light right now.

I love old trophies, each of these wanted to come home with me, what they did not realize was that I already have quite the collection that I've won the hard way:  by slamming down $2 to $3 at a time at my local thrift store.

The piece de resistance was most certainly this brass horse.  Why was he so special you ask?  Because he was THREE FEET TALL.  Um hello!  Our eyes met across the field and I ran to him as though caught by the ocean-side only a stone's throw from a long lost lover.  The angels came down from the heavens and the trumpets shouted in triumph.  Our romance was not to be, however.  Like the star-crossed-lovers of yore, our love affair ended when he yielded a price-tag of $150.  Well worth it, but, hey, I've got a bathroom to remodel.

It was the day of lamps.  In addition to the popcorn popper pair I purchased, I also got the one pictured above...

... as well as this hanging lamp that has been poorly photographed on it's side. I only have room for one in my house and I couldn't decide between the 2 very different styles, so I haggled like a pro and got the set for $50, I figure I will sell which ever one doesn't make the cut.

So, that's that.  Round Top day one complete.  I'll be revisiting the flea this week with my homebound pal Erin and my visiting friend Patrick.  You kids will get updates post haste.