Christoph Theurer

I have a crush on Christoph Theurer. These pseudo stalkery urges I get to constantly refresh the websites of certain photographers of interiors -- hoping (hoping!) that new images have been added -- have kind of become a problem. First it was Richard Powers, then I moved on to Karl Anderson, and now I find myself making up excuses to post little bits of CT's work here and there. Well, I can't hold back anymore. I want to make sweet sweet love to these offbeat houses.

It all started with this image that I came across on Roseland Greene's blog. Now, you may not be into the purple and orange, but you can't deny the Kapow Zing! factor.

What are the chances that my next home will have an entry like this? Actually, let's not calculate percentages here, because I need to maintain the delusion of possibility.

Do you see that couch/banquette thingie? It is trimmed in gold. GOLD, I say.

It really wouldn't be a fantasy home without lots of books, and I bet that stainless cabinet is hiding the TV. Clever.

Windows make me hungry.

I have absolutely no idea what's going on in here, but I like it.

That goes for this room, too.

I love the colors and textures here, and I want to wear those shoes on a fancy dinner date with The Hunny.

I'm sure the view from inside is just hideous.

See? I told you so.

I just like this picture.

More disgusting windows.

This is one zany office.

Ok, I've been waiting to show you this one... I love this idea! Perfect for keeping all our fine crystal plastic out of tiny hands.

This bed does everything but make itself. I wish my bed would serve me breakfast.

There you have it, a grand tour of some swanky modern homes that I will never be able to afford. What I really want to know is, how do interiors photographers get these awesome jobs? Because I'm pretty sure if I were shooting these homes, a week long stay would be stipulated in the contract. You know, just to make sure I got all the right angles.

Austin Modern Home Tour

We love peeping into the homes of others -- in a legal way, of course. Well, a week ago Launch787 presented their third annual Austin Modern Home Tour, and where were Karly and I? Uh, not there. As K-Dawg herself would say: lametron. Thankfully, our good friend and awesome photographer Cory Ryan was Johnny on the spot with her trusty camera in tow. Cory was kind enough to let us use her fabulous images to wow you with some highlights from this year's tour. So, bust out your coffee and donuts because this is one long, mouthwatering post, and we can't have you drooling on your keyboards, now can we?

Concrete and steel get the sexy treatment with acres of gorgeous glass windows.

Wild horses couldn't stop me from moving into that snazzy house on the left, but the affordability index probably will. Too bad, because those limestone and gently pitched roofs set me a tingle.

Did I already mention gorgeous glass? Add in a fabulous indoor/outdoor living space and I'm sold. Also, after seeing this, I am never ever showing you people what my own backyard looks like. Its shame shall remain secret until the day we move.

Don't know about you guys, but I am all about the kitchen and bathroom pics. Bathrooms first.

I love, love, love, the clean lines and wide range of materials used in these homes. It's so hard to pick a favorite, but the skylit shower and double travertine showers are making me want to rip out my own perfectly serviceable, but snoozy bathrooms.

The kitchens ain't too shabby, either. Look -- even the rich and famous use Ikea cabinets (bottom image). Of course, they also use carrera marble counters and back splashes, as well as custom wood cabinets. Marble backsplash, you are a fancy bitch for making me love you.

Have I already mentioned that Cory is an awesome photographress? Check out this shot.

I have to admit that I find some of the living spaces to be kind of boring -- a little too cleaned up and soulless. But these dining areas have some nice pieces in them, especially the wooden trestle table and artwork in the right image.

I also dig the painting in this bedroom.

And this wall/curtain treatment is interesting. How long do you think it took them to match up the stripes? I guess you hang the curtains first, then tape and paint the wall, then rehang the curtains. It would be awesome if there were 10 million stripes that matched...

Some cute details of furnishings for your viewing pleasure.

Honestly, though, it is all about the windows. If we didn't have limestone exterior walls, I would totally get crafty with a jigsaw and start cutting.

Ok, ok, ok, I'm about to pee in my pants with excitement over these last images. Did you get your donuts ready, like I told you to? Because you're going to need to bite down on something to keep from screaming...

THAT IS A MOTHERBLEEPING CANTILEVERED POOL.

With a view of lake Travis, of course. Do you think I got a little carried away with the images? Neither do I.

One last view from the pool. Hey, guess what? This little honey is for sale. Situated on Mt. Bonnell, she is 3.5 million dollars worth of awesomeness, and worth every penny that I don't have. Actually, the tour was presented by my old buddy David's marketing and PR firm Wyatt Brand, and I'm a little concerned that he didn't feel the need to ring me up and offer this gem at a deep discount (like, free). Dude, we've known each other since high school. It's the least you could have done.

So, how excellent was that tour? Don't you feel like you were there in person? Thanks so much to Cory Ryan and her magnificent camera skills for inviting us along! You can check out the rest of the modern home tour on her Flickr set. Also, Cory is truly a multi talented lady, so be sure to take a look at her online portfolios and services here and here. Lucky Austinites can view her Holga photography until February 28th at Thunderbird Coffee on Manor. Not in Austin? Buy her Holga prints here.

Whew, all that lust has exhausted me. My head is spinning and I've broken a sweat.

Wish I were floating in that pool right now.