Because I'm already tired of 2011 (it's not too early, is it?) and find myself yearning for a vacay, I keep lying in bed at night dreaming of this hot and sexy hotel:

The House Hotel in Istanbul is the kind of hotel you bring to meet mama. Sophisticated, well mannered, and clean behind the ears -- I think he's a keeper.

But what if I just have my vacation goggles on? I've dated hotels before only to find dirty little secrets, like rock hard uh, mattresses pressing into my back... that's just nasty.

Maybe you could be my super supportive bff and help me size THH up? You can? Great!

Me: ZOMG look at those FLOORS! And the moldings! THH has the bones of a god, right?

You: Totes, but that couch looks really uncomfortable. Maybe THH needs a lil meat to squeeze on them bones. At least he isn't afraid to watch 30 Rock reruns with you at 2 am. Bonus.

Me: What exactly does he expect me to do with that? It's so... small. And a stool? At a work desk? Who does that! It's almost like he doesn't expect me to use it at all.

You: I don't think he does. That bed is totally giving you the look.

Me: Ohhhhh! I get it! But what if I'm not ready to go to there yet? I mean, I'm easy but not sleazy. Do you think he'd be cool if we just kicked it for a while and got to know each other? I'm so not looking for a one night stand...

You: Well, it obviously looks like he can play it casual, but I just don't know if he's relationship material. Maybe some bitch broke his heart in the past? Because he totally has his guard up. Who knows? You could be the girl to break past his strategically placed defenses.

Me: Ok, so maybe he's a little rough around the edges, but I kind of like that. And you have to admit he's pretty dang dreamy...

You: I admit it.

Me: Oh... wait.

You: I knew it. Total player. Douche. Like, literally.

Me: Oh... wow. No.

So, I guess I really know how to pick them. I'm glad you helped me avoid certain disaster, but now I need a new love to obsess over.

Has anyone created chat roulette for hotels yet? No?

I am about to make a sweet fortune.

Then I can have any hotel I want.

Bam! Problem solved.

So the furnace was broken and we called our trusty heating and cooling guys who, when last time we called, literally moved a wire and the unit was fixed. This time was equally embarrassing as we had already gone through the pains to install a new igniter (I didn’t install it, my handy stepfather did it -- neither the husband nor I are capable of such things), and it turns out one of the little tubes that connects a something to a something else was clogged. One blow of the magical repairman’s breath and it was unclogged -- and $125 later, we had heat! I guess since it took less than 5 minutes to fix, the repairman (lets call him Bill) felt obligated to critique our old houses heating system. This is actually a good thing I guess, since we are officially on the market as of a few days ago. However, after hearing what Bill had to say, I felt like giving up and taking a short sale right then and there (I get discouraged easily). Anyone in Kansas City want to buy a sweet little 50s bungalow in the Plaza area? Probably not after I mention the problems that were so blatantly overlooked when my husband purchased this nightmare house 4 years ago. Don’t get me wrong; the thing is cute as a button, but DAMN -- you almost have to have a degree in construction or whatever to live here. So as a future warning to peeps living in old houses, you might want to check for a few things in your heating and cooling system: 1. Is your flue lined? I think Bill was talking about the chimney flue, however we were in the basement when he was telling me this and I’m not sure which flue exactly he was referring to. But he said that the previous owners had installed a high efficiency furnace (at this point I'm thinking -- Yay! A plus for once!) which isn’t supposed to be used with a flue like ours. (Fabulous)

2. Are your duct pipes double lined? If they are exposed and hanging about the basement as ours are, they should be double lined because well, they get really hot! Not only that, but going back to the flue issue, if the flue is not lined, non double lined pipes collect acidic moisture in them and eventually, they will disintegrate which makes it pretty darn hard to heat the house.

3. The crème de la crème was the asbestos tape coming loose. (Asbestos!?!?!! WTF) I had no idea we had asbestos. Cancer treatment centers of America -- here I come. I have no idea who the jank-ass inspector was that my husband used when he bought this house 4 yrs ago, but he sure didn’t mention the A-word. I’m gonna be so pissed if I get mesothelioma before this is all said and done.

On a much lighter note, let me introduce myself, I’m Liz and a guest blogger here. Erin and Karly were so kind to let me be a part of their amazing site and I hope I don’t totally ruin its rep. Since the theme is design, I’m going to introduce you to an amazing new firm/furniture design team called Autoban based in Istanbul, Turkey. The team are young architects Seyhan Özdemir & Sefer Çağlar and their crew of designers is barely old enough to have graduated architecture school (Yeah, I’m Jealous). Autoban mixes old and new - (hence the this old house theme… clever EH?). They do residential and commercial and there are some definite patterns running in their work, the main being stark minimalism set against ornate traditionalism in the moldings, paneling and other ornate prettiness, and they soften it by painting it all white (which I love). I guess in Istanbul most of the residential architecture is pretty darn old, and the way Autoban handles it is Autobantastic! Ok I'll stop now.