I hope you have protective glasses on, because your retinas are in serious danger of permanent injury. Like, bleeding, pulpy masses of eye goo. In fact, I thought long and hard before posting this. Here at Design Crisis, we pride ourselves on posting pretty pictures. Sure, you may not always agree with our taste, but you must think that our offerings are aesthetically pleasing on some level. I'm not sure how to put this delicately, but the following Houston McMansion may kill you. It will surely haunt your dreams. This is your final chance to run...

I hope you appreciate the mortal peril in which I have placed myself just to post these, but you probably don't. You probably feel incredibly violated, and I can't say I blame you. I can't decide if this house or Rick Perry makes me more ashamed of being a Texan, so really this post is all about my guilt. Sorry.

You don't have to agree with my politics, it's cool. We can get together over drinks and discuss why you are wrong -- I'll still like you afterward. Hopefully, you will still like me. But you must agree this is one of the ugliest, gaudiest homes you have ever seen, otherwise you may need to get your jollies elsewhere. So, I guess there's the line in the sand.

For everyone still reading this blog: I love you, and I promise I won't ever hit you again.

See the whole travesty here, if you dare. Found via Curbed National.

ps: I kind of think the blue room is the worst. That ceiling fan! Discuss.