Rug Drama Part a Million

First of all, THANK YOU for commenting on Luke's room tour! Sorry I rewarded you by taking the next week off for spring break. I'm a jerkface.

So, I have a grand history of choosing, unchoosing, pondering, debating, analyzing, and general indecisiveness when it comes to rugs. Either the size isn't right, or the color is unknown, the pattern scale is off, or woolen tumbleweeds threaten to eat my home. No matter which way you slice it, unless you plan to just jute it up all over the place, rugs are hard. And if you're like me, you have champagne taste on a beer budget, which SRSLY compounds the problem. It's not like I can walk into abc carpet or the rug company and throw $10,000 at the problem. What's left is the west elm outlet -- which I have found to work well for scatter rugs -- or the internets.

Thank the bargain gods for ebay and overstock. I love them long time. But buying a rug you've never seen and will be difficult at best to return is a major pain in the warp and weft.

Buckle up and let's discuss the latest debacle, shall we? Some back story, first:

This? Oh, this isn't the problem. Sort of. See I bought this vintage Malayer rug off ebay a few years ago and I love it and its jewel toned, crumb hiding, hand made awesomeness. The problem, as we have discussed previously, is that it's too small for this loooooooong room:

I know. I can't believe our house looked like this right after we moved in, either.

To recap, the table is gonezo and now this lives back there:

Except of course I have compulsively rearranged stuff n things since then. Der. The credenza and the white console swapped places, and now I have a terrible desk but a better looking back wall.

I am all about practicality, aka I need a real (super awesome) desk.

Anyhow, the runner was a little overpowering and a lot slippery, I really really really need a rug back here to protect our floors from little boys and their floor gougery. Plus something soft and plush would be nice to sit on and play legos and other annoyingly small and many pieced games little boys like to play.

I previously tried a 6x9 rug, thinking it might fill the space.

I was wrong, and we all know where that rug ended up.

Here's the thing: what I really want is a 13x18 persian rug to fill the whole room, but even on ebay cool ones price out in the 2k range. Since the kitchen has me on mega budget 2013 with my belt strapped on so tight I fretted over a $7 Ross dress, 2k is just not going to happen. So I went off and spent $300 on another ebay rug that is too small.

Hey Erin, aren't you a professional photographer? Why, yes I am. But I snapped these iphone pics to show Karly right after I rolled out the rug, and then I promptly rolled it up. And threw out my back. So enjoy these gorgeous works of art. And enjoy the baby bouncer, most of all.

Also, please do not assume the console styling is for realz. And Gilbert, the leopard pillows are just for you.

6x10 hand knotted deliciousness... too small, right?

I should return this, right?

I need a 9x12 that fits almost end to end with the front room rug I already have, right?

Now I just have to find one that I like under $500. Also it has to flow with the other rug. Also also it has to look good with the back room stuff.

This?

This?

This?

This?

This?

Sike! None of these are going to be under $500.

Rugs are dumb.

Please help me by either finding a cheap wool 9x12 that I like (I am tres picky), or by hiring me to take pictures and/or spend your money on decorating projects...

Assuming you have more money than me, that is.

Thanks for reading today's novel. I will be laying down and icing my back now. Me and my phone await your solutions to all of my problems.

2013: Year of the Wrecking Ball

Yes, I am still alive. I know it may seem like I fell off the face of earth, but that's only because you don't follow me on pinterest. Ahhhh, pinterest. Is there any place easier to access with my left hand whilst the right shoves a boob in the baby's mouth at 5 am? Nay, I say there is not. And what pinterest is bringing me these days is tile envy. Major major tile envy.

Pinterest room.

My room.

I feel that I should defend the cleanliness of our grout -- it really is cleaner than it looks in the picture! I promise! Maybe it's wet or something??? -- but seriously, what's the point? Completely indefensible.

I would kill for those $1 black and white checkerboard tiles (set in a diamond pattern, please), and even the cheapo white square ceramic tiles behind the tub. I don't need fancy -- I need NEUTRAL. For heaven's sake, who thought greenish khaki (basically bile colored) tiles were flattering in a bathroom?

Oh, and let's not forget the kitchen.

What. The. What.

So this is how things break down: since we moved in I have either been sick and pregnant, on bedrest, or the caretaker of a newborn and a sassy three year old (they're still here -- just older). I did my best to transform the things I could with paint, curtains, fabric, etc., but there is some fundamental horribleness lurking in this house that must be demolished. The tile must die. The cabinets must be painted. A bowling ball might accidentally be dropped on the granite counters.

I need to win the lottery.

And/or maybe learn how to set tile.

In the meantime, I'm going to return periodically to take you on a tour of the cute rooms I have "finished," and probably you will be so wowed by my magnificent decorating and photography skills that you will hire me to help you do one of those things.

Won't someone think of the tile? For only the price of a cup of coffee a day it could be saved.

As long as that cup of coffee is a grande starbucks somethingccino with 24k gold sprinkles on top, but who's counting.

It's good to be back.

Happy New Year!

Fabricadabra

Thanks for all the comments about my curtain conundrum -- especially the ones that said nice things about our house. It's not where I want it to be, but hopefully it's better than where it started. I mean, how could it possibly be worse than green carpet, khaki paint, and overstuffed mushroom farts furniture? I really had nowhere to go but up.

Anyhow, I ordered some more curtains that are going to blow your minds... maybe in a bad way. Or maybe not. That's the problem with choosing fabric -- it's crazy hard unless you have tons of experience. Personally I'm hoping the brute force of trial and error builds experience, because there's really no other excuse for my OCD behavioral tics.

Speaking of fabric, have you seen this?

I'm pretty sure Jesus flew down on a chariot driven by angels just so he could deposit this on my doorstep.

I'm really important like that.

So this handy chart tells me lots of things, things like I can't afford to swath this chair:

In any of Perennials' gorgeously soft and luxurious OUTDOOR fabrics, like this blue velvet that would be perfect in the nursery:

Or this slubby chenille faux bois that I'm kind of in love with... it's not nearly as busy in real life.

But $80/yd (to the trade price) x 5 yards (according to my new chart) = $400 just for fabric. Not including overage. Not including upholstery labor. Sooooooo, no.

However maybe I could afford to use fancy fabric on this chair:

Because it only requires 2.5 yards.

Small pattern if I keep the buttons.

Bigger pattern if I don't.

See how handy the chart is?

I'm kind of obsessed with finding furniture in my house and calculating the yardage.

I feel so empowered, even though I don't know anything about sewing and fabrics and upholstery.

But I'm learning.

Happy Friday, y'alluns.

Verily I say unto thee, go forth and reupholster the world!

[Perennials Fabrics]