What's in My Shopping Cart Right Now

May 30, 2012 erin

At any given time, I have about 10 items ready to go in shopping carts all over the web. The only thing that stands between me and a neatly organized browser is, of course, money. Sadly I'm not a wealthy woman, so I have to pick and choose which wants make the cut. And it's probably a good thing I can't just rush out and buy whatever my little heart desires as soon as it fixates on an object -- I may or may not possess a rather capricious nature. I might change my mind once or twice (or a million times) whilst concocting a final plan. So let's check out what I'm looking at and decide what to buy, mmmm kay?

First is this guy from shades of light, which I'm planning to put in the nursery. He's about $200 shipped to my house and I know that's not bad for a fixture, but I'm cheap and keep hoping to stumble upon something just as good for half the price.

I also have samples for these scrumptious wallpapers by Flat Vernacular, all of which kind of fit my color palette. Some I might have a place for, some are just objects of lust.

There's also this hilarious toile print made of derby cars from the same company that would make the cutest kid's bathroom ever, but not sure I want to go that juvenile... or maybe I do. TBD.

Adorable leopard pillow by Arianna Belle. I don't really need this, per se, but it's cute and splashy and $55.

Ikea has new leather furniture out, and it's pretty damn comfy. The Karlstad now comes in white leather, which is probably not the most kid friendly, but at least it cleans up easier than fabric. Our chesterfield is looking shabby, and this mightmightmight work as new seating. Don't worry -- I would burn those legs in the fireplace and buy a new set of chrome ones. For $899 (plus $135 back as an Ikea gift card), it's a whole lotta sofa for not a lotta moola.

Of course what I really want is a pair of these plush Ikea Mellby chairs to replace Chester. A pair of chairs would suit our seating configuration so much better and be more versatile down the line. Sadly, Ben would rather have a couch to sprawl out on... comfort vs aesthetics? Hmmm.

Probably I will buy neither right now and focus on other matters.

Like the marble table I have yet to order...

Or the paint I need for the kitchen cabinets, the upholstery for the nursery chair, bedding for the guest bed, chairs for the new table, a desk for the office, or any of the other million pressing issues I would like to tackle before the baby arrives.

I might have some problems with focus.

So help me out -- anything on this list I must buy today?

Monday Tuesday

May 29, 2012 erin

As I awoke to the sweet strains of Old McDonald and BINGO!, I realized with a start that today is the first day of Ike's summer vacation. Moms everywhere know what this means -- basically that time for showers, house cleaning, and blogging is suddenly diminished to the point of non existence. Le sigh. So while you may not see me more than a few times a week while Ike is running rampant through the house, smearing jelly on anything that will stand still, be not afraid (at least that's what I'm telling myself). I'll still be around.

I also want to say a big huge sloppy THANK YOU for all your kind and generous comments last week. It's amazingly comforting to hear from people I both know and don't know -- many of whom have been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. And for those of you without kids, don't worry too much. It's not all tears and sleep deprivation. It's also a lot of hugs and sweet baby kisses and funny stories about legos and pizza that make no sense.

So, short post today. But I'll probably be back tomorrow and until then I need for you to put your heads together and figure out how to make my kitchen look like this. It could happen, right?

Ike's room is almost done, the nursery has been painted, curtains just got boughten for the fireplace wall, I've made 8000 trips to Ikea recently, and I still need help with the master bedroom and kitchen.

We have lots to discuss. Stay tuned.

Things That Keep Me Awake at 3am

May 25, 2012 erin

So yesterday I went to the outlets again in search of more mongolian fur pillows, but they were all gone -- probably because I broadcast the message of cheap West Elm stuff far and wide, which was incredibly altruistic of me. But also maybe not so smart for a bargain hoarder. Anyhow, I ended up buying this:

[Not my house! See the entire nursery here]

While it would be a total score if I could walk into an outlet and buy this whole room, I was still pretty happy about snagging that bassinet for half price:

Isn't it cute? So cute that no fewer than five middle aged women told me how their ovaries just melted before I could even stuff it into the car.

So I wheeled my fancy new bassinet into the bedroom next to the bed, where I plan to house Baby X after I hit the ejector seat, and then I went to sleep.

And then the nightmares started.

This whole pregnancy, throughout all the complications and bed rest, I've been in total denial that we actually have a baby coming. I didn't want to get too attached in the beginning because Baby X might not make it. And also my experience with Little Infant Ike was not exactly a cakewalk -- he wouldn't eat or sleep. He colic cried for four months straight. My nipples cracked and blistered and bled until he was six months old. He slept (or didn't sleep) for eight months in our bed. I did everything I could to be a "good mom," but I seemed to fail miserably. Still he was cute and smart as all get out, and most importantly he was healthy, so I just buckled down and made it work because that's what parents do...

Now there is a crib in our bedroom again.

When I woke up at 3am and looked over, it reminded me of nothing so much as a lawnmower, coming straight at me Stephen King style. I tossed and turned for hours, wondering how I'm going to make this work again. I finally have a kid that is relatively self sufficient, and now I'm starting all over? W. T. F.

I worried about the blog -- who's going to take over while I'm recovering? Will anyone read when I come back? Does it even make sense for me to blog at all anymore?

I worried about my livelihood, not just for money but for my sense of self worth -- I haven't taken a photo or decor job since I went on bed rest.

I worried about Ike -- he's not going to be happy to share the spotlight.

I worried about our marriage -- having a newborn is stressful.

I worried about my mental health -- I don't think I need to elaborate on this one.

I'm 10 weeks away from my due date, and of course I'm still worrying about furniture and paint and wallpaper and kitchen cabinets, because those are things I can control (barely). There's progress in there somewhere.

So I apologize if I sound crazy and stressed and wishy washy. And if it seems like I'm incapable of making decisions for myself, it's because I am.

I just wanted to say thank you for being here and reading, for indulging my hysteria (using that term with the original root in mind). It helps more than you know. I feel a little ridiculous and sappy sentimental saying that, but it's true.