f=ma

When you have a toddler, the force required for a night away is roughly equal to the escape velocity needed to exit the earth's atmosphere. In other words, a baby free vacation is about as likely as flying to the moon. And yet, by the time you read this I will be on a plane en route to New York with a friend for a good old fashioned girl's weekend. Just typing those words makes me feel like I might pee on myself accidentally -- like a kid on Christmas -- because the excitement is TOO MUCH. But I'm also more than a little sad. I hope Ben remembers to feed Ike. And squeeze his chubby little legs for me. And smell his pretty hair.

Thankfully I don't really have time to worry too much about that, because I am busy packing and yelping and trying to figure out how to enjoy New York without looking like a total douchewad tourist.

Ok, maybe I'm a little worried that I will come home to an unwashed baby who has subsisted mainly on soda and cookies in my absence...

Surely not, right? Everything will be fine, right? Right?

Ok, must finish packing. And preparing wholesome baby lunches. And trying not to panic. And definitely not sleeping...

I'm out. See you dudes next week!

[All photos by the amazing Martin Parr]

B-B-B-Baby and the Jets

Ok dudes, I know no one is sitting around in this beautiful weather reading design blogs (otherwise I would have had, like, a zillion comments on my hilarious post on wood last week).  (whatever).  Since my keen design vision and insightful comedy stylings are not to be lost on blind interwebs, I'm taking this opportunity to see if there really is anyone out there.  In each of these pictures lies a hidden clue.  Look closely.  I will supply hints along the way.  Let's see if anyone can find the golden trinket in each photo.

Hidden among this otherwise unnoteworthy photo of Sir Elton John's bedroom is the most amazing image you will ever see.  Keep looking.  It's there.  I promise.

A good night's rest and fresh eyes should help you to locate the secret image among this kinda lame office in Sir Elton's apartment.

Hint:  the thing that you are looking for does not have electric boots or a mohair suit, but it may or may not be chewing on a microphone.  You can do it!  I believe in you!

Ok, do not be distracted by the amazing snake photographs / mirrored console / silver curtains in the only room that is appropriately decorated for the rocket man himself.  I photoshopped in something special just for you here.  Can you see it?

Ok, that was hard.  do you give up?  Discreetly hidden in each photo was the world's most precious baby (under 18 months division) as seen at his very first 80s dance party.  No, Lady Gaga is not his godmother, but his real mommy is pretty awesome and doesn't think much of Elton John's apartment.  Can you guess who the baby is?

ps you can see the complete snooze fest of a tour here.  pps martyn lawrence-bullard designed it.

Austin Craigslist, Cheapskate Edition

Craigslist is littered with asshats who think their doo stained sofas should fetch 1st Dibs prices, but you can't let that stop you from using the craig for good and not for evil. To be perfectly honest, it's been a while since I checked in and zoned out on tables and chairs. Today I had a few extra minutes to search for treasure, and I was a little surprised by all the awesomeness I found among the mirrows, rod iron, and chester drawers. Of course, much of said stuff was Knoll and therefore astronomically expensive, but I did find a few cheap and shiny gems. Warning, many crappy pictures shall follow. People, please learn how to use a camera so you can stop making our blog ugly. Thank you.

That's right. Smoked glass and brass coffee table. $65 here. Shazam!

Mirrored coffee table. Cool shape but those flowers are dumb. It wants to be painted black so badly. Can you help it? $60 here.

Neato chrome chair -- would look amazing floating in a room where you could see it from all angles. Gold star for decent photography. $60 here.

I actually opened up photoshop for this, just so you could see the majesty of this sweet little bedroom set in all its glory. $150 here.

It's got the Mediterranean flava. $35 here.

Pair it with this light. $50 here.

And this rug. $120 here.

And hey, why not this pair (yes, two) of square topped, vintage pedestal tables? $25 here.

Or skip the trad trend and get retro with a pair of square brass mirrored tables. I like these better for our room, anyway. $90 here. The hideous photography is free. You're welcome.

This will also go nicely in our fantasy room. Antique buffet with clean lines and pretty wood. $75 here.

In a totally different room (like, my living room) lives this huge heavy black lacquer 70s coffee table with BRASS base. $45. Within walking distance of my house. Why have I not bought this again? Did I forget to put the link in? Silly me.

Finally, this is not really cheap ($350 here) but I love the shape. The vaguely southwestern pattern/palette is potentially troubling, but I say you just Nagel the bleep out of that shit.

Perfect! And only $10.

And there you have it. Obviously I have rekindled my craig obsession, which is bad since I need more furniture like Oprah needs more celebrities to tell her how AMAZING!!!! she is. Now go buy one of these things, send me a picture of it in its new home, and I will post it.

As long as the picture is good.