Sublime Seating

Among the 872 new items I need for my house is a new sofa.  You would think I just landed on planet earth yesterday and have never had a place to sit, eat or look at artwork before.  That's not true, I just want to get rid of everything I've ever owned and replace it with all the furniture from the Viceroy.  Since that probably won't happen for at least another couple of days, I have to live with my fantasies and handy-work until then.  Enter, my inspiration sofas.  Bask in the glories people:

designers Nipa Doshi and Jonathan Levien, purveyors of all things great and true, pull at my heartstrings once again with their sofa, beautiful backside, available at Moroso.  With an unlisted price, it must be free and I'm sure shipping from Italy is pas de problem.  Incase, like me, you want to fill your room floor to ceiling with their heavenly goods you may also want to consider their princess and the pea bench:

It is with the utmost respect and kindness that I say:  I can totally knock that sucker off.  Perhaps my legs will pale in comparison to the glory pictured above but I can apply black laquer to a thrift-store bench like nobody's business.  Enter a few thin foam pads... and, oh!  some of that Ikea fabric Erin just posted about and geeeze, louise, I've got a hot hot seating area for my bedroom.  How do you like them apples?  Tasty and delicious, I say.

Incase you like to be reminded of your eminent demise all the live long day, perhaps this little number from, ahem, coffincouches.com is for you:

I'm a claustraphobe to the max and have informed all my friends and loved ones that I want to be creamated for fear of eternity in a wee little box, I clearly can't handle the coffin couch.  I am however a bit charmed by it's mix of luxury and whimsy with a creepyness factor of eight hundred thousand.

Moving on.

If you love the coffin couch but don't want to be troubled by all that messy death stuff, might I suggest another option: I am currently in the middle of a hot and heavy romance with Jaime Hayon's BD Showtime collection:

Like the coffin couch it has a hard outer shell (safe for use underground?) and a sexy tufted leather inside.  Unlike the coffin couch, it comes with a lady in turquoise.  Brace yourselves, people, you are about to spend the next 437 years listening to me wax poetic about our lord and saviour, designer Jaime Hayon.  Buckle up.

In my quest for the perfect seat, I find myself, time and time again drooling all over my keyboard at the likes of these beautiful boxy couches:

la la la love the clean modern lines, ha ha ha hate the vintage/designer price tags.  Dear, sweet matty bear swears he can make me any of them, just hand him a picture, but I fear that this project might slow down the kitchen remodel I'm forcing upon him so instead, I bought this on craigslist today:

Once you've dried your eyes from all the tears of pain you likely just shed and are able to read again, let me promise you, dear readers, this solemn vow:  I karly, of sound mind and body, promise to sand down each and every piece of wood, re-stain with a semi opaic black benjamin moore stain, and cover with a protective, shimmery polyeurethaine coat.  I also will rip and shred every heinous piece of denim from this sad sad sofa only to recover with love and kindness in a lovely fabric, possibly from Ferm or (sigh) Ikea.  Pick up is scheduled for tomorrow, before and after post to follow.

Flock Watch

I heart sheep -- and especially their silky soft skins. I know, Peta is probably coming to splash my front door with faux blood, but I really can't help myself. I have, like, 500 (ok, two) of the Ikea sheepskin rugs covering suboptimal chairs, and I loooooove my Costco sheepskin rug. I used to have a flokati rug, but I couldn't vacuum it properly without fumes of burning rubber issuing forth from my workhorse machine, and shaking the stupid thing out usually induced a seismic allergy attack, magnitude 8.0. Yuck. Happily, my sheepskin rugs are a dream to clean, and they are so, so cuddly on my feet. Yes, I love my pretty little pelts, but lately I've noticed sheepskin recalling its original form. Witness these stools from Sam Brown at Leigh Harmer:

These cute poofs would make a comfy landing spot for a guest when seating is limited, or perhaps as accessories in the little tot's playroom. I like the headless hybrid form and the juxtaposition of wood and fur.

Hanns-Peter Krafft's vintage design in current production at Moss moves closer to the zoological end of the animal/furniture spectrum:

His stool evokes the designs of amazingly brilliant husband/wife team Claude and Francois-Xavier Lalanne, who have spent much of their lives creating animal-themed furnishings and objets d'art. In particular, Francois' sixties-designed Moutons are enjoying a contemporary revival:

I am loving the life-sized sheep on abstracted "grass" carpet, and it helps that the chrome coffee table reminds me of a totally stylin' water trough! (Image courtesy of Topsy Turvy).

While Les Moutons are sheepishly cute and fuzzy in a stuffed animal kind of a way, a couple of newer designs may belong in the cabinet of curiosities. Check out this three-headed monster courtesy of freshome:

I don't know. I love me some taxidermy, but I'm not sure I want to sit on it. On the other hand, it's kind of awesome. I'm torn.

I feel less ambiguously repulsed by this meat chair, a gruesome creation of Italian artist Simone Racheli featured at Paola Maria Deanisi Gallery.

That's really the point, though, right? I definitely think of this one as art, designed to provoke a strong reaction, and on that level I find it to be extremely successful. And gross. And kind of mesmerizing.

I think I'd most like to have this fabulous lucite and sheepskin chair at Waazwiz, a Japanese design site:

Cozy yet cool, I need this one. No meat required.

Ikea: Just Don't Buy Their Furniture

I hate to admit that I sort of like Ikea. I mean, once I recover from the 1 hour drive through heinous traffic, tune out the 5 gajillion screaming kids and leave a trail of breadcrumbs to help me through the endless labyrinth of cheaply made (but cheap!) furniture, I usually find more than a few gems. Last week Karly and I took a spin through the showroom and yesterday I drove all the way back there AGAIN to return a poopy bedskirt (why are good bedskirts so hard to find???), so I feel pretty darn well acquainted with all of Ikea's current offerings. Most of them cater to the first apartment crowd with a healthy dose of suburban family for good measure, but Karly and I both agree that the textiles freakin' rock! Check out this mod take on the Suzani trend:

I think it would make a super upholstery fabric for an accent chair, perhaps on a Danish teak for added warmth and depth, or maybe it could punch up some sleek white lacquered number...

There were so many great choices it was more than a little overwhelming, but I do love these:

Ok, and these:

AND these!

Can you tell I'm really feeling a black and white color palette, with pops of summery brights just to kick things up a notch or three?

These are all fabrics by the yard, so if you're sewing challenged like moi you'll have to bribe your crafty friends or family members to help you out with major projects. Even for the craft impaired, I don't think it would be too difficult to whip out some pillows, curtains, or redo seat pads on chairs. Just remember that with graphics as bold as these, a little goes a long way. You don't want your house to look like this.