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Guess what ya'll, I've got a winner to the 2010 Outdoor Living Tour this weekend: Congratulations, Anne! You plus one will be playing landscape peeping-tom gratis this saturday. I'll hit you up over the email to work those details out, sugar. While we all come down from our contest high whilst simultaneously prepare for this weekend's garden bloodbath, let's relax with some soothing pictures.
Hair by Culdesac and Studio Marisol, images courtesy of yatzer
After months of resisting the urge to buy another single solitary stick of furniture for this overstuffed house, I finally gave in to temptation. Craigslist has been wining and dining me with brass this and lucite that, but I stayed strong. Until something suddenly came up.
And now I have a seven foot long black leather grub worm in my kitchen/dining area.
I hope you will forgive the janky photos as I didn't have a lot of time to play Richard Avedon this morning, but I think you can still make out the fact that I have a GIANT BLACK LEATHER THING IN MY DINING ROOM.
Actually, this "thing" is a Tobia Scarpa for Cassina chaise and matching ottoman (with labels!) that I scored for $75 including delivery. BLAMMO! It's a pretty sweet deal considering that it should go for a minimum of 10x that price. If you could find one.
It do be having some issues, though. Like a missing button, and some scuffs and a few deep gouges. I think I'm going to order some leather dye and polish this bad boy up, but I don't know what to do about the button. I'm totally open to advice on leather care.
But some day I'd really like to reupholster this behemoth because black leather is not the bizness -- sorry, black leather lovers. Karly says it will be a nightmare, but how awesome would this be in a super slubby oatmeal linen?
Oh, you know... kinda like the ones Kelly Wearstler has in her fancy beach mansion. The mansion that she's selling for 21.9 MILLION. Maybe she wants to buy my chair, too?
But I digress. It can't be that hard to drape some fabric over the frame, wave your hands over the surface, and hey presto! this baby into life, right? Can I get an Amen?
But my biggest problem is that I bought a giant thing and I AINT GOT NOWHERES TO PUT IT, which is why it's occupying its own zip code in my dining area. Shhhhhh, do not tell the Hunny about this little epiphany I just had, since he was totally against this really stupid purchase in the first place, and I do not feel like putting up with his I told you so shenanigans. But in my defense, this picture was dancing like a sugarplum in my head when I decided I just had to had to had to have it:
Thank you, Karl Anderson, for taking such a gorgeous stunning beautiful picture and making me buy this dumb thing I don't need. You bastard.
Ok, I bet you thought this post was going to end right here, but you were so very wrong. It gets worse.
You see, along with the chaise I also bought this Pace Collection coffee table for another whopping $75. BLAMMO! Score! Plus the dude delivered it to my house along with the chaise, which is a big fat freaking deal, since it weighs 200 lbs. At least. Seriously, I do not want this thing to live in my cramped, overstuffed office, but now that it's in there, it's going to take an act of congress to move it.
(Sidenote: check out the teak desk (which used to be our dining table) raised up on blocks in the reflection of the chrome. This was the Hunny's brilliant solution to a too low table that would not allow him to roll his chair underneath it. We are keeping it klassy at our house.)
So now I have a giant black thing in a place where no seat should be, plus a coffee table that I can't move because it weighs more than me, Ben and Ike, stacked up like a pyramid of clowns on a bicycle. I took a picture of my finger next to the glass and chrome so you can see how thick it is. It's probably going to drop through our floor any second.
So I'm thinking I could put the Scarpa chaise and ottoman against the wall where that futon (covered with a tapestry) is right now, and the futon will go live with someone else -- which is no great loss since futons are hideous, worthless pieces of furniture, anyway. But before I can put the chaise there, I have to move the coffee table. UGH. I suppose the table can live at the end of my giant bed, which I promise to photograph someday after I clean my room, but that probably won't happen anytime soon, so don't hold your collective breath. You can't have everything, you know.
I personally am taking a very deep breath right now, and I'm going to put on my magic brain cap and figure out how to solve this dilemma. I'm afraid the solution involves buying a bigger house, and that makes me all anxious in my innards, and now I feel an overwhelming sense of analysis paralysis.
I think I might just take a quick look at Craigslist instead.
Every once in a while a little tidbit this way comes that has both of us rubbing our hands in glee. This is such a bit. Courtesy of our friend Andrea, check out these Babies With Laser Eyes.
Yep. That's a baby with laser eyes.
Now, I know that DC is ultimately a design blog. We present you with hard hitting entertainicles on the best paint colors and furnishing trends, with a healthy dose of hip artwork and graphic design to round out the awesomeness. Do laser babies fit into any of these categories? I don't know. Blow one of these bad boys up into a poster and stick it on your wall. Your mom will love it.
Who knew that babies could be raised on a steady diet of magic mushroom milk and Pink Floyd? The baby instruction manuals I read completely glossed over this important information.
I'm pretty sure The Hunny is going to want a T-shirt of this one.
Angry laser baby bad!
This little dude is going to haunt my dreams, for reals.
Can you say hot tub?
Let's just pretend for one minute that you don't like babies. Well, first of all that would be ridiculous. But whatever, we can't all be obsessed with chubby cheeks and giggles and precious bodily fluids. But if you don't like baby animals with lasers, then you are going to have to go somewhere else. Psycho.
Awww, sweet double headed laser kitty. I want one so bad.
Little laser puppehs.
Undomesticated laser crossing.
How could this post be complete without featuring some of our own laser babies? First up is Andrea's brand new little man, Ozzy:
And Ozzy's crime fighting friend, Ike. These kids are going to get into so much trouble together.
I did make his lasers green, but The Hunny informed me that Superman's special eye lasers are red. Duh.
For more lasertastic photos, and to learn how to add lasers to, well, anything, go here.
Just imagine the possibilities...