Get In Shape Girl

Every year around March I realize what all my mother's peanut butterballs and butterscotch cookies have done to me and I instantly morph into a certified workoutaholic.  I don't just go to the gym once or twice a week and I don't park myself on the elliptical with a magazine.  I become a complete workout freak.  My obsession lands me in the gym at crazy hours (who knew there was such a time as 7am?) and has me balking at the ladies who turn on the fans in spin class (we're supposed to be sweating!) For roughly 6 month of the year my love for decor actually has a rival:  the gym. I've wanted to do a post on rooms with workout equipment in them (swoon!) but I guess most decorators don't take too kindly to a treadmill shoved in the corner.  I couldn't find a single image.  Not one.  (If you guys know of any, send me links!!)  Instead, I've combed the interwebs for the most well designed workout crap I could find.  Maybe some of these pieces could find a comfy spot in a well designed home?

Grand Queen of Web Sleuthing, Laura Sweet did a fantastic weight roundup on If It's Hip, It's Here last March.  I picked out my faves, um, hello, GOLD dumbells?  I really need to re-negotiate my gym membership, it could be 1000 times classier.  Be sure to check out the rest of Laura's roundup here

Electra Bike via Below the Clouds

My favorite workout involves cardio, lots and lots of cardio.  Perhaps I could sneak into my gym late one night and paint some lovely alexander girard inspired images on the stationary bikes?  I think the colorful flowers would look oh-so-lovely against the dirty-snow-grey.  No?  Maybe I should just start bringing in my own LOVE seat cover?

I have to admit that the idea of racing down a hill on the BauBike by Michael Ubbesen Jakobsen scares the living daylights out of me.  What if you were thrown backwards?  Need I say more?

Honestly, aside from my fear of falling, what makes these bikes particularly unappealing to me is that they are designed for outdoor use, a burden those of you in the north are lucky enough to not understand.  Today it was 100 degrees in Austin and not even my strongest workout ambitions can battle that kind of heat.  So something like this might be better for me:

The River Gym, a floating gym powered by the energy you exert while peddling or running or whatever.

Ok, these kinda freak me out and look like opportunities to either a. asphyxiate while baking under the sun or b. workout your way to a beautiful white grave under the sea.  A for effort, but I'm a little creeped out.

Let's go to a happier place

ahhh, that hits the spot.  LOOK!  Decorating!  Exercising!  This is the gym for me!

If I ever tire of climbing on picture frames and deer antlers in Japan (not a chance) I will clear my mind at these minimally designed towers in Amsterdam (of course).  The towers are a proposed vision to deal with the city's abandoned sewage treatment sites.  Kinda gross, but it looks like they plan to give 'em a good scrubbing:

The inside of the towers.

Admittedly, I've never been climbing, I think this should be a good place to start.

Of course, if you're going to work out, you've gotta have good workout shoes

They're Transformers!  Zoinks!

If you're more the workout-at-home type, might I suggest doing so while following Mariko Takahashi's Fitness video, which can be seen in all it's glory here

Happy Workouts Y'all! 

It's Educational!

While kids everywhere are cheering the end of teachers, books and dirty looks, as a grown up and ex-instructor, I find myself sniffing nostalgically at the very idea of school. Because, as dorky as it may sound, there is no way to describe how much I love learning new stuff. So when Brooklyn based coop 3rd Ward emailed DC to tell us all about their awesome summer class offerings, my heart leaped at the thought of taking welding, or bookbinding, or screen printing, or -- gasp!-- digital textile design (wiping the drool off my face).

Damn you, 3rd Ward, why aren't you in Austin? Well, this post will serve as a PSA for all you lucky New Yorkers, as well as inspiration for the rest of us. Don't just waste your summer away on silly activities like booze and swimming... Learn something, already!

So, 3rd Ward offers a brazillion classes that range from Vacation Bible School cheap to summer camp in the Poconos not so cheap. Clockwise from the top left, we have Digital Textile Design, Photoshop (which is apparently taught by mimes... just kidding, but that would be awesome!), Digital Bookmaking and Thermochromatic Embroidery. Huh, what? Apparently there is such a thing as wired embroidery thread that changes colors when a switch is flipped. I like the idea of having an electronic hat very, very much.

Once upon a time, I took a jewelry class, and for the first time in the history of my education, I hated my teacher. I would like a do over at 3rd Ward, please. Did you know you could cast jewelry from cuttlefish bones? Stinky, but fun.

I also took a welding class in grad school that changed my life. I went from confusing a socket wrench with a monkey wrench, to TIG welding like a rock star. Karlypants also took welding in school and we both agree that knowing how to use tools with confidence is totally empowering. Plus I feel that everything should be on casters, so this Welding Techniques for Sculpture and Furniture class would bring me one step closer to my plan of world domination on wheels.

For all my tool swagger, I can't wield a brush worth a damn, so it's unlikely I would find myself in the Oil Painting class. On the other hand, if they can teach me how to paint this sexy lady, I am so there.

Perhaps I should start with the Drawing From Chaos class... Although I am very distracted by the Handmade Skincare class. Knowing me, however, I would accidentally concoct a tincture of poison ivy instead of St John's Wort. Doh! I used to teach bookmaking, so maybe I'd be safest in the Bookbinding class. Yeah, I know -- way to stretch out of my comfort zone.

I am a very impatient lady, so I would consider taking the Extraordinary Embroidery class sponsored by Etsy to work on my sit still skillz.

This class wins the award for best title -- How To Make Crappy Stuff Awesome. Love it, love the concept. In fact, this class describes my theory for decorating: Step One - Collect trash. Step Two - Shrug? Step Three - Awesome! Ok, so maybe I should take the class, as I obviously need some help filling in the particulars for Step Two.

Finally, Business Plan Boot Camp is not to be missed. Because all the awesome crafts and art in the world will not market themselves. You gotta know how to pimp your wares. When I taught art, I ALWAYS recommended for art majors to minor in business. If you missed the business boat (like I did), then this class is for you.

So remember when I chastised you for boozing your summer away instead of spending your free time learnin' stuff? Well, if you can't set down that case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, consider taking the very informal Drink and Draw class on a Wednesday night at 3rd Ward. Because you know your drawings always look better when viewed through a haze of drunkenness. At least mine do.

The House That Baby Built

Kids, I have been Bizzy. The inlaws are a' visiting, and on Saturday, Karly and Diana hosted an awesome baby shower for me and the fetus, the net result being that the inside of my house looks like Babies R Us exploded in a frenzy of blue and green velour. Oh well -- hopefully it's for a good cause. Anyway, the events of the weekend have left me unprepared for the week, so thank jeebus for my good pal Stephanie over at Even Cleveland, who has once again bailed me out of the Monday doldrums with another fabulous house link.

So, do I just have baby on the brain, or does this radicool Mexico City house look like the inside of a womb?

Because I totally imagine my fetus skipping around in here, singing Sunshine Day, and NEVER, ever, wanting to leave.

Lazy fetus is always lounging around the couch, rolling and stretching his way from seat to seat.

He's such a bum that I doubt he ever showers.

At night he sacks out on his plush bed pod, sucking his thumb and continuing the infernal KICKING. Obviously, the bed is located adjacent to my bladder.

He needs to find the exit to outside, pronto. Look, fetus -- it's so sunny and bright out there! Go towards the light!

Does anyone know where the door is on this thing?