I (Barely) Survived SXSW 2009

Hello darlings! It's been an insanely busy end of week/weekend, plus I'm getting ready to fly to Hawaii tomorrow, so today's post is more picture diary than cutting commentary. Hope that flips your bic because, phew! -- I am TIRED. So, if you don't already know, Austin is host to the annual SXSW music festival. For a couple of weeks the entire city revolves around films, free music, free parties, and lots and lots and lots of free alcohol -- unless you happen to be six months pregnant like moi, in which case you skip the drinking binges. Dammit. I only made it out two days this year -- and even that almost killed me -- but I'm glad I went. The unborn fetus and I saw some great music, and we even have a few pictures to prove it.

Day 1 was dominated by the Bird's Barbershop party, which was new and improved over last year's rockin' party due to an explanded venue and extra special marketing efforts by Miss Karly herself.

Poor Karly had to squat down 500 feet to match my diminutive height, and sadly this is the only SXSW picture I have of us together, so enjoy!

King Khan and the Shrines are like some kind of a bizarre, transatlantic James Brown.

N.A.S.A. rocked the house with extra help from a martian cheerleader.

My pal Diana was assaulted by an extraterrestrial creature.

Later that night we went to see Tricky at the Levi's Fader Fort and I happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Day 2 was all about eating burgers at P. Terry's, and then heading back to the Fader Fort.

After jamming to a set by Bun B, Karly, Hunny Bunny and I, did a loooooot of people watching while waiting for rumored special guest Kanye West to show up.

He finally did. Karly braved the crowds to get pretty close to Mr. West, but I stayed back for fear of having the baby squeezed out of me by frat tools. This was the best shot I could get out of my point and shoot, but you can still see his cutoff jean vest/jacket thing that Karly found most perplexing.

We skipped out after about an hour and apparently missed Erykah Badu and Common. Bummer. But we did have a lovely late night dinner at the Magnolia. Mmmmm... pancakes!

So, that's it for my SXSW coverage. Karly's got more for you on Tuesday, but I'd like to leave you with some shots of Kanye West's house, featured in Interior Design.

Not bad. It's pretty much a masculine mod shrine to Takashi Murakami and Andy Warhol, and I would totally live there. Except for this:

Or maybe I would live there because of this? All the music and ambient pot smoke must have befuddled me, because I'm really not sure.

Well, blog buddies, I'm going to be on vacation for almost two weeks. I'm sorry that I haven't had time to catch up on a lot of your awesome blogs lately, but hopefully when I return from relaxing on the beach I will be totally rested and raring to go.

While I'm gone, Captain Karlypants will be steering the ship with help from first mate guest bloggers Hello Gorgeous, Eye Spy, The Homebound, and Even Cleveland. Please be sure to tune in to check out their fantastico posts. Thanks for supporting our blog, and I'll see you when I get back!

Quilts Gone Wild!

The normally oh so civilized quiltosphere is abuzz with conflict regarding the latest issue of Quilter's Home. According to this article in The Washington Post, Jo Ann's Fabric Store refused to carry the scandalous March/April issue because it features pages of controversial quilts. Even though editor/owner Mark Lipinski ponied up extra cash to have the issues shrink wrapped in plastic sleeves a la Hustler magazine, the issue was deemed too shocking for Jo Ann's customers, out of fear that they might accidentally look at the magazine. Let's check out the front cover, shall we?

What? No T&A? Just an alarmingly excited man (Lipinski himself) playing a post pubescent game of hide and seek on the cover... But it is advertised as "Shocking," so what's inside this issue anyway?

WaPo writes, "Flip past the ads for stencil companies and portable ironing tables to Page 24. Behold, seven straight pages of shocking quilts. We're talking fabric phalluses. Gun-toting Jesuses. A newborn peering out from his mother's lady parts (constructed out of lots of soft, embroidered orange cloth)."

You don't say.

Sadly, I don't have a copy of this magazine (if you do, PLEASE send us scans and I'll update the post), and QH doesn't publish excepts online, but a little detective work has uncovered some of the art and artists included within these controversial(!) pages.

First up, Gwendolyn Magree, whose quilts draw comparison to Jacob Lawrence. Southern Heritage/Southern Shame, included in Quilter's Home, was created as a response to Mississippi's refusal to remove the Confederate emblem from the state flag.

God of Our Weary Years

When Hope Unborn Had Died, of which Magree writes, "A couple has bought a hog and toddler at auction. Its mother, screaming in anguish, runs desperately out of the fields."

Requiem, a quilt devoted to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

And then there's Miss Mary Beth Bellah, along with her featured quilt, Helping Hands, which is apparently an ode to Viagra. And penises.

Don't be deceived by her middle aged wholesomeness, but do note the pliant puss in hand. And the penises.

Can you see them, masquerading as dog bones? Also, the blue diamonds represent delicious Viagra pills. Apparently, this quilt was exhibited at a hospital -- fitting, no? -- but was taken down due to complaints. Really, you'd think hospitals would appreciate the free advertising!

Last but not least, Shawn Quinlan's Jesus Get Your Gun quilt, featured in the now notorious QH issue, really got some blogger's threads knotted up in a wad.

Nothing like religion and politics to ruffle a few feathers. Apparently this piece was the recipient of an award at the Andy Warhol Museum, and was also awarded the Greater Latrobe School District Art Conservation Trust, but the latter was rescinded "due to controversial subject matter." Read the letter that inspired it here.

Oh, but there's so much more.

As My Daddy Always Told Me, "At Least Democrats Will Throw You a Bone."

Fossil Fuel

Farwell Quilt #2, which was inspired by a conversation between Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. You can read the very intriguing transcript here.

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

Well, readers, what do you think? Is Jo Ann's Fabrics "out of touch with their customer base," as Lipinski suggests? "When you consider that a 70-year-old could have been dancing naked at Woodstock and a 50-year-old could have been smoking pot in high school -- sometimes you have to change your marketing." Or is Lipinski just a sensationalist out to make a buck? WaPo does note that he used to be a talk show producer.

Should quilts -- generally a traditional, conservative field -- only mine the terrain of calico and wedding ring patterns? Or are penises, lynchings and angry Jesuses, appropriate fodder for material?

Drop me a note and let me know what you think!

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UPDATE!

Totally unrelated to Quilter's Home and its collection of randy quilts, but you people have to head over to Double Takes to see the Dead Rapper quilts Lauren posted. Have to!

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UPDATE PART DEUX!

Totally awesome reader, Bobbi, send in scans from the mag of the quilts I didn't manage to find on the net.

Yes, those are some hot buns by Randall Cook, and a tiny baby peeking out of an orange (?!) vajayjay by Gayle McKay.

Another quilt by the very talented Gwendolyn Magree, and The L Word Quilt by Diane Johns.

Thanks Bobbi for sending in the scans, and thanks all your peeps who have written in with your own stories of censorship and strife in the quiltosphere. DC readers are the best!

I (Don't) Know What Boys Like

It's been an eventful, loooooooooong weekend at Casa Erin. Our brand new cast iron sink arrived shattered in pieces, my in laws came to assemble cabinets and sew seat covers for us (yay!), and we found out that we're having a boy. Oh, boy! Now, somehow -- despite my initial instincts -- I had convinced myself I was having a girl, so this was a little shocker. And I hope you won't think I'm a terrible person for saying this, but it's kind of scary. I mean, I know what girls like. We like unicorns and rainbows, purple and pink, and we like glitter. Sparkles rule! But growing up with two brothers has taught me little about boys, except that the rubber wheels on Tonka trucks get excellent traction in long hair, and being drenched by a bucket of cold water is not a nice way to wake up in the morning. Decor for boys? Complete mystery.

For months I have been stuffing the guest room/nursery with thrifty toys, snippets and remnants from other projects, hoping the whole mixture will magically congeal into a happy baby wonderland. Now, I'm confused. Really confused.

Will he appreciate my fondness for precious baby deer, other than to one day see them as dinner?

My dad is seriously going to jump straight out of his Carhart pants when he realizes we're having a boy. He's already got plans to buy baby hunting outfits and tiny rifles. I don't suppose they make pink camo?

And I'm guessing my frilly scalloped pillow shams with mystery messages (anyone speak Vietnamese?) will have to go. I think boys like dragons, but I don't think they like ruffles... unless I get really lucky and have a baby Miles Redd.

Maybe my favorite vintage piggy bank will make the cut. But I don't know about these guys:

I think that coulrophobia is probably gender neutral. The little guy is actually pretty cute, but the fleshy one looks like he hasn't shaved for days and may be hiding a bottle of ripple behind his back.

I wonder if my own little guy will appreciate the stellar deal I got on this gigantic Seguso for Marbro lamp ($25 at a thrift store). Or will it just end up all broken pearlescent glass, smashed into a hot mess by an epic Big Wheels accident?

Anybody want to buy a lamp?

Will he be soothed by the sounds of my Furby, or will he attack it with a hammer, ostensibly to figure out where the sounds come from? Not that I've ever seen one of my precious, precocious brothers do such a thing... (RIP, Happy Apple)

I've been saving these since I was a teenager. Surely everyone loves monkeys and Pikachu? And Kermit? No one likes Miss Piggy, not even girls.

When he's older, will he enjoy the books I have so conscientiously selected for guests? Perhaps I should warn him that some are much better than others.

Or maybe it's best that he find out on his own.

While I struggle with tiny, inconsequential matters -- like how to raise a boy when I myself am completely wang-free -- I thought I'd ask you wonderful readers for ideas on how to decorate the nursery. Here's a few overview images to set the stage:

Don't mind the rolled up carpet and stacked piles of art in the corner; renovations have caused a fair amount of deco shuffling. We'd like to keep the bed and dresser in here, but I was thinking about moving the tall chest into the closet and putting this crib in this corner, so I can easily see it from the door.

This is the only room in the house that still retains its original band-aid beige wall paint (just say no to flesh toned paint!!!), so I definitely plan to paint over it. I was thinking of doing pale gray with black on the window wall, but now I'm thinking of gray all over and painting a colorful super graphic on the wall opposite the bed. I love this post that Molly over at Designer's Brew did for a chill, gender neutral baby room. How would pale gray, aqua, tangerine, and maybe a hint of tomato red look together? Plus black, white and gold as neutrals.

Don't worry -- I will be editing the accessories. Severely. (If you live in Austin, stay tuned for garage sale info!) But, if I can, I think I'd like to keep this guy in the room:

He might just make up for losing the deer.

Ok, readers -- especially those of you with boys -- any sage decorating advice for a first time, shell shocked, mother to be?

And for everyone who perishes the thought of decorating a nursery, not to fear! I'll be back on Thursday with expert paint advice in our very first Ask Sanders column.

But, wouldn't you know it -- all the rooms will be blue.