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Good ol' blogger Woodley Park Zoo tagged me for a little game of picture sharing. I've been asked to post the fourth picture from the fourth folder where I store my pictures. That's my black and white medium format folder, so here is a little something from a series I did on Broad Street, the derelict center of my hometown, Texarkana:
That is one hungry bobcat.
On the same day that the news broke of Domino's demise, I received my March issues of both Elle Decor and Metropolitan Home in the mail. Each Magazine crying out: read me first! I'm better! I deserve to survive this dreary economy! Oh, and how about you renew your subscription while you're at it? With the passing of several shelter magazines over the last several months, rest in peace, Vogue Living, one has to wonder what it takes to stay alive, and furthermore, to stay on top. Rather than picking a mag to read first, I flipped through them simultaneously, page for page, I compared these last-men-standing, to see which would survive the battle of the fittest.
While Elle delivers color, PUPPIES!, and lots of Madeline Weinrib, Met Home gives me an arch lamp, KITTENS!, and a light filled, but otherwise dull space.
Cover Challenge winner: Elle Decor. While I am more of a cat person, I do prefer all the fuchsia to those drab gray sofas. The bent-wood chaise is endearing, but a bit to Viking for my taste.
On the left, Elle's table of contents gives us 3 preview shots of upcoming stories, while Met only shows us one. Met really makes it count though, with that uber-hot gold table on the right hand side.
Table of Contents Challenge Winner: Draw, not only do these two look nearly identical side by side - perhaps someone's graphic designer is moonlighting? - but even the copy editors seem to be collecting paychecks from both companies: Met Home headlines with "Capitol Gains," a story, presumably on a DC home, while Elle Decor spoon feeds us "Insider Trading" a slightly more mysterious title but with little variation from the former.
For some reason, I always read the editor's letter in any magazine. I don't know why, they're never that great and tend to be the editorial version of a beauty pageant contestant's response to her question on current events. Margaret Russell kills in her letter this time, bringing both praise and criticism to this year's Top Design winner, Nathan Thomas. Margaret seems to appreciate Nathan's style, but the letter acts as a disclaimer reminding the readers that she would rather set fire to her hair then have his hastily decorated apartment in her magazine, but, well, rules is rules. Donna Warner talks about the economy (snooze) and a bunch of trade shows she visited that had fabulous(!!!) new items, none of which appear in this month's magazine.
Editor's Letter Challenge Winner: Elle Decor. Mrs. Warner drove a hard bargain posing next to that horse, and, I tell you, it just about tipped the scales, but Mrs. Russell's letter was too good to pass up.
Each magazine gives a sneak peak of the items we will most surely crave in the up coming months, according to Elle, we will want lots of pattern, color and well, pattern and color. Apparently, Met Home thinks we will want a bunch of crappy stuff painted black and awkwardly framed. What you cannot see here is that Met Home's "Word" section is actually sprinkled with more variety than Elle's but it's a bit confusing and across the map... soooo:
Trend Spotting Challenge Winner: Elle Decor. While I appreciate the variety in the Met Home display (again, not fully shown) I value the clarity of vision presented by Elle just a little bit more. This was a tough call and I really wish that the horse from the table of contents had been in this section, making my choice that much easier.
Each magazine has a lead story that veers a bit off course from the rest of the edition's fare: Russell delivers on her promise to feature Top Designer, Nathan, while Warner gives us some brew-ha-ha about prefab houses. Honestly, I didn't read the article, I already subscribe to Dwell.
Lead Story Challenge Winner: Draw. You may remember that Erin and I already covered Top Design ad nauseam, so that was a bit old hat, about as old as, say, prefab housing.
Elle and Met Home each take a tour of the globe bringing us back the most salacious treats our hearts can handle, and will most surely kill to obtain. Elle Decor promises that butterflies are the new black, while Met Home counters with the argument that we will all be causing riots in the streets to get our hands on every possible bit of fuchsia. (Remember, Fuchsia was all over the cover of Elle, so, apparently, they unknowingly agree)
What's Hot Now Challenge Winner: Met Home. Ok, Elle Decor, Butterflies? Really? I know that the last butterfly trend was laid to rest circa 1999, so, working on the 10-year-trend-cycle, mathematically, these winged beauties should be on deck, but I have to say, sometimes trend math is wrong and I'd really like to pop those suckers back in the vault for another 5 years. Met Home, on the other hand, you've read my mind: I really have been into the hot pink lately. Pssst, you would have scored double if you'd trash-talked red, currently my least favorite color.
All of our contributors spend hours upon hours to bring us the best pieces of furniture currently in production. Elle is loving floor lamps this month, while Met gives us a taste of love seats, nesting tables (small space issue) and convertible sofas.
Individual Medley Winner: Draw. Wile each magazine had a couple of pieces of eye-candy, none were lust worthy and most were on par with an after-dinner-mint rather than a big bowl of chocolate mousse.
Finally, each magazine dukes it out with their version of decor porn. First up: Elle
A few of the more notable rooms from this edition, each are from different homes. Meh. While I would probably live in most of them, I'm not really peeing my pants with excitement either.
Next Up, Met Home:
Really, only a few things stood out to me in this issue: the mirrored wall in photo 1 (drool) the cocktail table, bottom left (gold!) and the barely visible side-table, bottom right (leather bar!)
Home Tour Challenge Winner: Elle Decor. While I would never consider quantity over quality, Elle certainly seems to have both. I would like each editor to turn it up a notch, though. You, Me, Erin and the rest of the design blog-o-sphere drop design bombs day after day, most of which induce much more hyperventilation and raised heart rates than these entire magazines combined. We all know there's so much more out there, so why did I just spend my weekend putting together this post while intermittently yawning?
Confession: I totally stole that pun from my friend (wo de Zhonguoren pengyou, for all y'all Zhongwen speakers) who's hosting a Chinese New Year party tonight, but considering that today marks the new year of the Ox, it seemed fitting. I mean the pun seemed fitting, not the theft. Stealing is wrong.
Whoo hoo, happy 4706! What's that you say? Did you just wake up after a 2+ millienia long nap in a cryo-chamber designed to float you through the worst of the economic recession? No, it's just the crazy Chinese calendar. Even though this year is not looking particularly bullish in market speak, that shouldn't stop you for partying your tail off. So, let's get busy planning, shall we?
First of all we're going to need some decorations:
I know you peeps are cuckoo for garlands, so these beauties from Pearl River are sure to please. We're going to need some lighting, too:
I love these pretty pretty red lanterns from Photocello2006's awesome Flickr set. Red is the appropriate color for Chinese New Year because it symbolizes fire and is said to drive away bad luck. Sounds like Wall Street might need to raise a trillion red lanterns, right?
A few colorful options mixed in, like these lanterns from Pearl River, never hurt anything... just don't choose white for your new year festivities.
In Chinese culture, white is for a totally different special occasion...
You can't show up for a party is your ratty old white T, so this Empress Coat should help you dress to impress. It's only $950... that's not going to be a problem, is it?
Or you could always try out one of these fancy outfits. One of these things is not like the other, but I'm not sure which is most bizarre.
It may be safest to stick with these beautifully embroidered (and cheap!) shoes from Pearl River. I'm sure even your male guests would enjoy having a pair.
Without a doubt, the most important part of any party is da booze.
Let's face it, you can never, ever, have too much beer. Tsingtao will do in a pinch, although I prefer Harbin. And for a serious new year's party, you're going to need a selection of the harder stuff:
Since I lived in Hawaii for five years and outside of San Francisco for three, I've had ample opportunity to sample a wide range of Asian liquors (during the salad days before I got knocked up, sadly). I wish I could recommend a delicious Chinese brew (yi ping jiou hen hao), but I can't. So, even though it's not culturally appropriate, I am going to suggest you go with smooth 'n' tasty Onigoroshi sake. You gotta love "The Demon Slayer."
Although booze is invaluable in getting the party started, food will keep it from getting out of control.
You do like pig snout, chicken feet and jellied sea cucumber, don't you? Oh, alright. You can have some yummy Peking duck, sweet treats and delightful dumplings.
Maybe you're an ardent do-it-yourselfer and have grand plans of cooking Chinese dishes to bring to the party. Let me tell you from painful experience: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME (unless you are Jesse). Now, I'm not Julia Child but I am a moderately competent cook. However, a couple of nights ago my Chinese buddy and I attempted to cook Har Gau, aka those yummy shrimp dumplings you love to eat at dim sum.
Very bad things happened. No this picture is not a post apocalyptic wasteland, or a rock quarry. These are our uncooked freaking dumplings, finished after almost FOUR HOURS of rolling and kneading the most m%$*#@f%^ing horrible tapioca flour dough in the universe. The first dumplings BFF pinched together actually turned out ok, but as the dough got drier things fell apart. Gold star to little buddy in the top left corner who actually resembles a dumpling. Oh, and the filling was delicious.
It's possible that this might have helped. Or maybe even just a real rolling pin. But the Dumpling Dynasty kit has the added bonus of being ridiculously cute.
Do yourself a favor and order takeout (what we're doing after our disastrous failure) and serve your food and beverages in beautiful dishes, like these ceramics from Pearl River.
Finish out your dinner with some Chrysanthemum or Oolong tea served in this blue and white tea set on a tray to help contain drunken spills. Also from Pearl River.
After dinner the real celebrations begin. You're gonna need fireworks. Lots of fireworks.
But not these fakey fake "fireworks" for wussy decoration purposes only. Puhleeze, people. I'm talking FIREWORKS:
Yeah, like those. After you're finished snap, crackle and popping, your entire neighborhood should be wheezing from smoke in an (appreciative) asthmatic fit.
No Chinese New Year celebration is complete without a lucky lion dance. Once upon a time, long ago in a faraway land (about 5 years ago in Hawaii), when I was in kung fu I got to stand on my husband's shoulders and practice to be the lion head. It was killer because: I got to be 10 feet tall, no one wants to be the butt end of the lion, and did I mention that I got to stand on TOP of my husband? That's right.
Hey, you beezies didn't think this party was free, did you? Oh, and don't forget to bring a little extra $$$ for the lion. Unless you want to have a very crappy year.
You know when the party's over, it's crazy late, and all you want is to crawl into bed and worry about the dishes tomorrow, but there's still this one drunk asshole stumbling around your house yelling "Whoo hoooooo!" and you don't know how to get rid of her?
This ought to do the trick. Happy Chinese New Year!