Final Countdown!

Dear Readers, there's a light at the end of the tunnel (clap your hands and sing along). Instead of cooling his heels in Chicago, Barack Obama just arrived in Washington weeks ahead of the inauguration so that cutie pies Sasha and Malia could start school at Sidwell Friends. Before inauguration the President Elect normally moves into Blair House, the President's guest house, but the Bushes told the Obamas that Blair House is just plum full up and there's no room at the inn for them. Golly jeez, what's a concerned parent preparing to birth a presidency to do? Why, move into the historic Hay-Adams Manger Hotel within striking distance of the White House, that's what.

Is it just me, or is the White House looking rather, er, excited at the prospect of a change in executive power? While waiting to take the reins, Obama can lunch at the lookout and make sure no one tries any funny business. You gotta keep your eye on those beezies -- there's still time to steal this election, too.

So, besides spying, what's this Hay-Adams Hotel all about, anyway? Is it good enough for our future President?

Well, if Obama has time to eat in between all that exercising and smoking, the Hay-Adams has got him covered. This dining area seems suspiciously reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy's redesigned Diplomatic Room in The White House. Or maybe Washington is just crazy for murals... all the better to hide those peeping eye holes.

Then there's the Off the Record bar at the hotel. I must say that I love the hot red tufted banquettes and swank plaster ceiling, but this place certainly looks like a down and dirty lobbyists' lair. All it lacks is a stripper pole. Maybe Obama better stay out of here.

Not sure what this restaurant is called, but it looks like a dark wood paneled nightmare out of The Shining. Verdict: too dark, not enough security, possibility of Redrum. Avoid.

Next stop: retire to the suite to draft an emergency economic stimulus package. Dear President Elect Obama, please make out the check to Erin Williamson -- I'm sure you already know my address and social security number. Please do not send those curtains, the truly bilious pea green office chairs, or that bizarre table setting, in lieu of cash.

Sweet dreams, Prezzy. Avoid entangling yourself in the copious amounts of fabric tied at the sides of the bed. Actually, it might be safest if you removed all the covers and pillows, to diminish the possibility of accidental asphyxiation. And that fireplace does not look safe to operate, at all. Dude, you have to make it until the 20th. Have to.

Would he be any better off in the Blair House, where Bush's frenemies are currently in residence?

Yes, the Blair House is miniature, obviously used as a stage for puppet theater presidencies, and it seems to be covered in a square pox. Just kidding -- I did manage to wrangle up a few life sized pictures.

Apparently the Blair House used to suffer from a bad case of structural instability -- something about a chandelier almost falling on a guest. Ooops. Inquiring minds will be verrrry interested to learn that the Prince of Chintz Mario Buatta (and Mark Hampton) did the renovations in the 80's. You may remember Buatta from hits such as:

(not the Blair House)

Ok, this is the Blair House, and it looks like Hampton put the whammy on Buatta and got him to cool it on the chintz. This rooms looks perfectly... federal, yet chill enough for the Obamas to hang out and fist bump their way to the White House. Yizzow!

Seems like everyone pitched in on renovations. During the Kennedy administration, some of the rooms were updated, including this dining room which was outfitted with new chairs. The wives of the cabinet secretaries did the needlepoint for the chair covers, and even Lady Bird Johnson pitched in. My, how times have changed... could you imagine Hilary Clinton sitting around and embroidering? Oh wait -- she will be a cabinet secretary herself! Maybe Bill could handle the petit point?

Now we know that Kelly Wearstler has been taking style cues from 80's Mario Buatta. Fascinating.

Note to Obama: don't walk under the chandeliers! You heard about what almost happened to that poor bloke a few years back...

This is not my personal taste, but my gag reflex isn't kicking up any sand over it. I think that's about the best you can hope for in stodgy Washington.

Gratuitous ship picture, because I like ships. Who doesn't?

Finally, the real reason the Obamas can't stay at the Blair House: Mother, Daddy and Jeb-Jeb are most likely holed up together, plotting the rise of the Bush Dynasty once again, like a phoenix from the ashes -- lots, and lots, and LOTS of ashes. Did you hear that Daddy Bush wants Jebby to run for president? Did you? Did you?

Watch your back, President Elect Obama. Stay at the Hay-Adams Hotel, far away from the faint waft of brimstone. You're gonna need a mighty powerful cleaning crew to take care of that for you.

Design Crisis V2.009

Welcome to the other side of the New Year, homies.  I know this isn't our first post of the year but since you all were spending the better part of last week sleeping off your hangover, we're pretending this is day one.  So, welcome '09.  Holla. We here at DC headquarters aren't so big on New Year's resolutions but we are big on lists.  We've made quite a catalog of goals for the upcoming 12 months and, while we may be flying too close to the Hayon Chandelier on wings of wax, we're going to do our best to stick to them, gosh darn it.

Here's a preview of what we have in store:

Sanders has already given you the lowdown on the best blacks, whites and grays of the Benjamin Moore Palette as well as introduced you to the color trends of 2009 but to prove his genius goes beyond broad strokes and that he truly is the King Of Paint, Sanders will become a regular consultant at Design Crisis.  Do you have a room in need of a color makeover but don't know where to start?  Or perhaps you know the color you want but have been banging your head against a wall filled with all the wrong color samples.  No worries, you can send us your images and info on the room, we'll program it into the Sanders-bot 3000 and boop, beep, boop, voila a perfect selection of swatches custom made for you. pssst, don't send these to us yet, we'll have a fancy new email adress for your submissions.

OK, admittedly, this featured artist thing won't happen every Friday, or maybe not even on Friday at all, but we're all geared up to bring you a bevy of fresh new designers both local and abroad.  We've already got 3 in the cooker that I am oh-so-excited about so put on your soft-sculpture helmet, buckle your upholstery-grade seat belt and get ready for a 100 mph ride through featured designville.

The goal closest to my heart this new year is to bring in the Benjamin's.  See that little column to the right of this post?  Now, imagine your name in big bright lights RIGHT THERE.  Yep, we're dressing up our advertising section with new sponsorship packages and opportunities to show off your design business.  We've already been lucky enough to grab a few fantastic sponsors - unveiling to come later this week - but hey, we're not ashamed to want more.

And just to show that we're not a bunch of bitter cast offs tearing up everyone else's handy work, we'll be unveiling our own small range of Design Goods over at everyone's favorite online flea market, Etsy.  Look, if we get this one crossed off on December 31st then we will still have met our deadline.

Speaking of selling stuff on Etsy, we will also be shifting (a very small portion) of our focus from the excessively unattainable to the design-conscious small business ventures that make our hearts go pitter pat.  Our focus will not only be on the awesome products that these dudes produce but also on how they run their business complete with tips for success and how not to run your company into the ground in the first week.  

If you're going to run a business then you just may need to know how to make something.  Enter:  Our D.I.Y. guides.  I swear to god I will finally break down and type up some of those how-tos I've been promising you for the last 6 months.   It can be a little daunting trying to throw sparkle and pizzazz into step by step instructions that involve a lot of math and ironing, ok?

With all this crap we have lined up for ourselves we're probably going to need to have a few guest blogging editions.  This half-baked idea has not spent nearly enough time with me, erin and a bottle of vodka* so I can't promise any amazing up-and-coming segments but I'm sure that once we get around to it, your scene-loving heads will be blown right off

*vodka for me only, Erin can't have it for 7 more months.  ha ha

But don't let all this talk of brew-ha-ha get you down, there will still be plenty of this:

And most definitely a lot of this:

So, that's that.  Welcome to the Y2K9, playas.

Hair of the New Year's Dog

Good morning, kids and Happy New Year!!!  If you find yourself reading this through blood-shot eyes, I'm hoping it was one of the following picture perfect aperitifs that did you in:

Now, even though you may have left your house to ring in the new year that does not excuse you from being design-minded at all times.  No matter how many cocktails you may have imbibed, I pray to all things holy that you were never seen with an unsightly tall-boy and instead, had one of these:

1.  Champagne glasses by Michael Anastassiades (psst, check out the showcase section on his site)

2.  Champagne to go by formstark (do you think that will fit in my cup holder?)

3.  Inside Out Champagne Glasses designed by Alissia Melka-Teichroe available at The W Hotel Store

4.  Veuve Clicquot Globalight available at The W Hotel Store  I'm really not sure how this works (who has time to read pesky descriptions?) but I'm sure you would have been the bell of the ball had you been caught carrying it last night.

5.  Piper Heidsieck Champagne bucket and bowl designed by (are we getting sick of him yet?) Jaime Hayon

6.  Veuve Clicquot and Porsche designed Ice Cube (hopefully this comes in other colors, unless, of course, you have something to prove)

If you found yourself at a big-fat-open bar (lucky you) hopefully your hostess fully comprehended the importance of appearances and chose one of the above in a larger scale:

Piper Heidsieck champagne design by Jaime Hayon

Can you imagine the conference call where this little gem was thought up:

PH:  So, Jaime, you know that bucket and bowl you designed for us before?

JH:  No

PH:  Well, we're worried that a few people may actually be able to afford it, so we're going to need something a bit, um, bigger

JH:  You can't pay me in champagne any more

PH: Right, anyway, we want it bigger. And with a lamp.

Ok, that was the stupidest imagined conversation ever.  But really, a lamp?

Moving on.  If you're the type of person who completely overhauls your decor according to season, then you surely would have needed to impress your guests with this:

Veuve Clicquot Loveseat

Had you planned accordingly, your new years could have looked like this:

Don't you love advertising?  These people really capture my lifestyle.

If you aren't much of a drinker but still wanted to be in the Champagne-y new years spirit you could have jetted on over to London to enjoy this:

Portrait, Installation by designers Fredrikson Stallard for Veuve Clicquot.

I guess those lights are supposed to conjure up the image of champagne.  Pop Quiz:  How many of those lines do you see after a full bottle of bubbly?

And finally, if sparkling wine just ain't boozy enough for you, I hope you tried these:

Cointreau Pearls infused with Strawberry and dropped in Champagne

um.  hells yes.

So, what the hell does all of this have to do with interior design?  Nothing really, but I'm sure after a few sips of today's post, you may find the courage to paint your dining room that hot shade of electric pink you've been considering.