I (Don't) Know What Boys Like

It's been an eventful, loooooooooong weekend at Casa Erin. Our brand new cast iron sink arrived shattered in pieces, my in laws came to assemble cabinets and sew seat covers for us (yay!), and we found out that we're having a boy. Oh, boy! Now, somehow -- despite my initial instincts -- I had convinced myself I was having a girl, so this was a little shocker. And I hope you won't think I'm a terrible person for saying this, but it's kind of scary. I mean, I know what girls like. We like unicorns and rainbows, purple and pink, and we like glitter. Sparkles rule! But growing up with two brothers has taught me little about boys, except that the rubber wheels on Tonka trucks get excellent traction in long hair, and being drenched by a bucket of cold water is not a nice way to wake up in the morning. Decor for boys? Complete mystery.

For months I have been stuffing the guest room/nursery with thrifty toys, snippets and remnants from other projects, hoping the whole mixture will magically congeal into a happy baby wonderland. Now, I'm confused. Really confused.

Will he appreciate my fondness for precious baby deer, other than to one day see them as dinner?

My dad is seriously going to jump straight out of his Carhart pants when he realizes we're having a boy. He's already got plans to buy baby hunting outfits and tiny rifles. I don't suppose they make pink camo?

And I'm guessing my frilly scalloped pillow shams with mystery messages (anyone speak Vietnamese?) will have to go. I think boys like dragons, but I don't think they like ruffles... unless I get really lucky and have a baby Miles Redd.

Maybe my favorite vintage piggy bank will make the cut. But I don't know about these guys:

I think that coulrophobia is probably gender neutral. The little guy is actually pretty cute, but the fleshy one looks like he hasn't shaved for days and may be hiding a bottle of ripple behind his back.

I wonder if my own little guy will appreciate the stellar deal I got on this gigantic Seguso for Marbro lamp ($25 at a thrift store). Or will it just end up all broken pearlescent glass, smashed into a hot mess by an epic Big Wheels accident?

Anybody want to buy a lamp?

Will he be soothed by the sounds of my Furby, or will he attack it with a hammer, ostensibly to figure out where the sounds come from? Not that I've ever seen one of my precious, precocious brothers do such a thing... (RIP, Happy Apple)

I've been saving these since I was a teenager. Surely everyone loves monkeys and Pikachu? And Kermit? No one likes Miss Piggy, not even girls.

When he's older, will he enjoy the books I have so conscientiously selected for guests? Perhaps I should warn him that some are much better than others.

Or maybe it's best that he find out on his own.

While I struggle with tiny, inconsequential matters -- like how to raise a boy when I myself am completely wang-free -- I thought I'd ask you wonderful readers for ideas on how to decorate the nursery. Here's a few overview images to set the stage:

Don't mind the rolled up carpet and stacked piles of art in the corner; renovations have caused a fair amount of deco shuffling. We'd like to keep the bed and dresser in here, but I was thinking about moving the tall chest into the closet and putting this crib in this corner, so I can easily see it from the door.

This is the only room in the house that still retains its original band-aid beige wall paint (just say no to flesh toned paint!!!), so I definitely plan to paint over it. I was thinking of doing pale gray with black on the window wall, but now I'm thinking of gray all over and painting a colorful super graphic on the wall opposite the bed. I love this post that Molly over at Designer's Brew did for a chill, gender neutral baby room. How would pale gray, aqua, tangerine, and maybe a hint of tomato red look together? Plus black, white and gold as neutrals.

Don't worry -- I will be editing the accessories. Severely. (If you live in Austin, stay tuned for garage sale info!) But, if I can, I think I'd like to keep this guy in the room:

He might just make up for losing the deer.

Ok, readers -- especially those of you with boys -- any sage decorating advice for a first time, shell shocked, mother to be?

And for everyone who perishes the thought of decorating a nursery, not to fear! I'll be back on Thursday with expert paint advice in our very first Ask Sanders column.

But, wouldn't you know it -- all the rooms will be blue.

Floor Story

Our new kitchen floors are finally dry enough to walk on, so I was able to finish documenting this chapter of our epic kitchen renovation tale which began with a dastardly tile floor, crescendoed into a blaze of dust and fumes, and denouemented in a lazy state of vague anticipation which ended with teary eyed appreciation of The Divine Holy Grail finally within our grasp. And also we are glad that the haze of polyurethane no longer threatens to incite hallucinations (for more information, see Tuesday's post). So, without further ado, I present the illustrated and unabridged version of the chapter entitled, A New Floor Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry.

1.1 EXPOSITION

The old floors were a hideous screen printed tile which gave stomach cramps to anyone who happened to glance upon them. The mismatched grout was an eyesore unparalleled by any floor ever before seen. As mistress of the house, the tiles especially vexed me whensoever I was put upon to clean their uncommonly bilious faux marble surface.

Oh! The horror!

1.2 A SURPRISING DISCOVERY

Before the vile tile could be replaced by gleaming new wood, a very unfortunate post in the center of the bar needed to move. A sea of plywood cabinets were demolished to leave space for the work to come.

Much to Ben's surprise, when one cheaply milled, warped pine panel was removed from the post, a Budweiser beer can was found inside. Who had built this house? A tribe of beer swilling uncivilized monkeys? Ben scratched his head in earnest. Obviously he would never do such a thing.

1.3 MOVING MOUNTAINS

Moving a heavy load-bearing post should not be taken lightly, so Ben enlisted the help of his trusted friend, Mattypants, known to many in these parts as "Karly's Husband."

Matt did a fine job of moving said post four inches behind the original, by first installing the new post and then cutting the old one out. We are pleased that the ceiling still stands, and feel lucky that we will have Matt's expert assistance with upcoming kitchen projects.

1.4 A DUST STORM HITS

Once the area was prepared, yon fugly tile was removed by wondrous workers.

We were ecstatic this job was not undertaken by ourselves, as it was a particularly horrible job, which created tremendous clouds of dust.

Despite our best efforts, dust was tracked into the four corners of our house, surreptitiously appearing even in closed bedroom closets.

1.5 RESCUE

At this time, Dean Warren and his magical crew laid a sub floor of 2x4s adhered to the concrete slab by some very stinky chocolate tar. Bundles of our future wood floor were left inside to acclimate to the house.

1.6 TWO ROADS DIVERGED

Once the wood was ready, Dean stapled tongue to groove and created 151 sq ft of gorgeous goodness.

Despite the dangerously upturned nails, lack of sink and stove, and enormous mess, our hearts soared at the sudden realization that the tile was gone, never, ever to return!

And here, the plot thickens (and the wallet thins). Sensing that the road ahead was fraught with perils untold, Ben, as master of the house, put his foot down. To ensure a perfect match, he decided that the old floors must be sanded and refinished along with the new floors. As mistress, my job was to argue against this expensive proposition, but I was overruled.

1.7 BEN WINS

Even our senseless house cat can tell that Ben was right. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

1.8 HAPPINESS, AT LAST

The gleaming new floors were very difficult to photograph, but anyone can see that the new satin stain is delicious, and the marked lack of tile should uplift the hearts of all who gaze upon it.

I would not have chosen this stain color to begin with, but my hand was forced by the nearly 1300 sq ft of wood flooring already in place that I had to match. Sigh. Nevertheless, I am excited by the level of quality and the difference the new floor has made in our kitchen already.

1.9 EPILOGUE

I would like to thank Dean Warren and his crew for their honesty, professionalism, quality and service. After receiving four bids, we were pleased that the lowest bid also came with the nicest person. True to his word, the final price came in on target, and the smile never left his face. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend him to anyone in town.

I promised to give numbers for all souls brave enough to undertake this heroic journey, so here goes: the price for 151 sq ft of tile removal and haul off ($250), new sub floor materials and installation ($185), 151 sq ft of red oak ($300) and installation ($330), and 317 sq ft of sanding and finishing ($730), added up to about $1800. Ouch.

Does it hurt? Yes. We are not wealthy people! But the floors are gorgeous, and I like that our money went to a hardworking person who deserves it. In our troubled economy, it's all about helping out small businesses.

Thus ends this chapter of our adventures in kitchen renovation, but tune in to later chapters where we install cabinets! A sink!!! Countertops! And new paint! It's all DIY from here on out, but with help from multi talented Matt, everything should be smooth sailing.

To be continued...

Erin's Kitchen Nightmares

Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot. Because of you, we're planning to rip out our kitchen and replace it with this:

Sigh. Not really. I love this kitchen, but we'd pretty much have to raze the entire house and rebuild to get it, and Momma don't have that kind of cash (who does, these days?). But in all seriousness, because of your helpful comments on our first kitchen post, we expanded our $1000 kitchen "refurbishing" budget into... well, a hell of a lot more. I'll let you know the total damage when we do, and don't worry -- I plan to keep you updated every step of the way. Let's get started!

Here's a refresher picture for those of you who are scratching your heads in earnestness, trying desperately to remember what our hideous kitchen looks like:

Mmmm, the beautiful tile, the gorgeous plywood grain, the overhanging cabinets that bash your head in when you attempt to look into the living room, the hulking pantry, the cracked and stained formica... Yes, it was hard to decide what you hated most, so we're ripping it all out. All of it. Oh, and trust me, the cabinets are WAY UGLIER in real life. Paint ain't gonna hide the janky drawers, the gaps in between the ill-fitted doors that may or may not open all the way, or the weird filler pieces sprinkled here and there like plywood twinkies.

First thing was first: get rid of those overhanging cabinets that blocked the view to the living room (for more detailed pics, refer to the original post here).

Hunny Bunny to the rescue: the Berlin Wall is coming down, bitches! Ich bin ein Berliner, schweinehunds!

In case you were wondering, I was an integral part of the demo process:

Almost done...

Awww... isn't he precious? So, let me tell you -- tearing watching Ben tear that wall up was the most liberating thing, ever. The ugly pine post is still unfinished, but I love the new sense of openness already, and I don't miss the cabinet space in the least.

Yep, that's the (not actually that cluttered in real life) living room. Notice the post sans ugly cabinets on the left. Now if I could just get that back wall settled... oh well. One thing at a time.

Ok, back to the kitchen. So here are some Google Sketchups that the Hunny da Vinci'd up for me:

Yes, we will be repainting. The window and stove walls will be the same pale gray as the living room, and the back wall will be black or some kind of a dark charcoalish color. Also, the post will be stripped of its hideous pine shell and dry walled to a (hopefully) smaller size. We will probably paint it white.

Unfortunately, as you can see above, Hunny Bunny went rogue a la Sarah Palin and added some wrap around beam that overhangs the bar area, and me no likey, especially because it makes the window area look cluttered:

Ugh. I really need three shelves for my dishes, and HB just can't understand why that extra shelf up top that is totally unreachable to 5' tall moi creates an ugly number. Can you help me out? So, here's the rest of our kitchen plan:

1) Rip out the fugly tile and run the same hardwood from the adjacent dining room into the kitchen. This is going to be a big nasty job full of sanding (our wood is unfinished and must be stained to match the old wood), but it's already scheduled for the end of the month, and the estimate is not too bad. Never fear, I shall blog the process and let you know how it goes and what it costs.

2) Rip the cabinet sea out and replace it with Ikea Abstrakt White lower cabinets that look like this:

Oooh, shiny! I know there are some Ikea haters out there that will tell me I'm crazy for trading in my wonky plywood cabinets for particle board, but I did my research and I'm not concerned. Consumer Reports gives them a pretty stellar rating (not even considering the cost!), and I love that they come with swank Blum and Ferrari hardware. I have NO hardware except for pulls and outside mounted hinges on my current cabinets, and there's currently so much wasted storage it's pathetic. Also, there's a rumor circulating that Ikea's more contemporary cabinets are manufactured by super duper expensive maker Snaidero:

Like I said, it's just a rumor, but they sure look similar to me...

3) Karly's hubby Matt will help us build in another level to the peninsula so that we can have space to eat on the living room side. We're planning to use butcher block for the countertops on the peninsula since there aren't too many moisture issues in that area. Plus butcher block is cheap and pretty.

4) Soapstone for the counters on the sink side. Not sure if we're going to use tiles or slabs yet, but here's a picture of what a soapstone slab on a white cabinet with wood floors looks like:

Obviously our cabinets will be sleeker, but I think the soapstone is clean and minimal with a natural "grain" to it, and I like that it's matte and non porous. If we decide to do tiles instead, there's an awesome DIY post that will hopefully guide us through the process. The results look pretty amazing.

5) Replace the sink. Um, not sure what's happening here. We were looking at this farmhouse sink, seen in Jillian Frances' beautiful kitchen remodel:

Hers looks really pretty with dark wood cabinets, but I'm not sure it's the right style for the cabinets we've chosen. Also, will it chip and stain? Should we just go stainless instead???????? Help!

6) Deal with the wall of pain.

This was our plan, but I had an epiphany that we need a built-in pantry wall of cabinets between the two doorways that the fridge will fit snugly inside. I'm just not sure if I should use the same white cabinets on this wall... will it be too stark against the black? My other choices are wood slab Nexus doors from Ikea that range from light brown, medium brown to brown black.

If I weren't putting in wood floors, I would probably choose the lightest wood color, but I think it's way too close to my floor color. What do you think about the darkest wood color? Would it be strange with a black wall behind it, and gray/black soapstone counters? Should I just go with a monolithic white wall of cabinets, instead? Double help! It's super important since we stare at this wall all the time while sitting in the living room, now that our upper cabinets are gone.

Designer friends and readers with fabulous taste who first pushed me to accept that I need to tear my kitchen up and paint it black, you know who you are. As you can see I'm about to spend a crapload of money and I want to get this right. Help a girl out with the details, will you? You'll have my undying love, unless this kitchen renovation kills me first.