Shoes, Glorious Shoes

I feel pretty confident in declaring that I own a vastly awesome shoe collection. It's not a status oriented kind of collection that screams, Look at me! I wear the latest Tory Burch by day and the newest Louboutins by night. Which is not to say that I don't appreciate fine, expensive shoes. I do have the odd pair of Marc Jacobs heels bought on deep (VERY deep) discount. It's just that mostly I'm far too poor (and cheap) to buy them. What I do own is a little piece of the 20th (working my way up to the 21st) century: black satin dancing shoes from the 30s, alligator pumps from the 40s, Delman spike heels and malachite green French Room snake skin platform pumps and some lucite heeled rhinestone studded beauties from the 50s, a swinging pair of Walter Steiger silver snakeskin t-straps and crazy spectator oxfords from the 60s, loads of wooden platforms from the 70s (both wedged and spiked), a killer pair of Charles Jourdan stilettos from the 80s, and I haven't even mentioned the boots -- 70s western, 80s Frye and Hanna Makler (the boot lady), 90s Italian, and a whole host of other players.

Despite the fact that my closet, Ben's closet, and even the office closet runneth over, I love each and every pair. My shoe loving grandmother would be proud, and naturally I own several pairs of her shoes, too.

The good thing about vintage shoes is that they're unique, and if you're crafty with the Ebay, they're often cheap. The bad thing about vintage shoes is the comfort -- or the lack thereof. You can get lucky and snag an uber plush pair, but more likely you just tough it out. And look hot.

Unless you have a toddler. And then you buy new shoes. Brand new, never worn shoes.

Enter my new Lucky Brand Lexi clog boots, bought with an internet coupon (duh) at Endless. Less expensive than those damn Swedish Hasbeens, and less orthopedic looking than those Jeffrey Campbell boots, they are comfortable, they fit well, and they go with everything. I plan to go dark and boho chic with them, all neutralish textures and patterns and crazy shiny shit galore. Like so:

Graham Atkins Hughes

Commune Design

Elle Decor

Not sure of the source, but I'm pretty sure that's a Vistosi chandelier. Mmmmm...

Francois Halard

Andrea Ferrari

Yeah, I like black. But I also like brown. Tune in for later episodes in my shoe shopping diaries, wherein I confess to both major and minor boot purchases...

I really hope Ben isn't reading this.

Let's Talk About Money

While in Hawaii, my mom twisted my rubber arm into touring the furniture megacomplex that is Inspiration Interiors. I think she said something to the effect of, "There's a giant life sized horse with a lamp on its head!" Oh, you mean this horse? The horse that Karly has been obsessed with for years?

Dudes, I kid you not: I walked around with my jaw dragging the ground like a neanderthal for entire time I cruised the showroom. And I felt like little more than an uncivilized cretin when I looked at the price tags, because every piece seemed more expensive, more rarefied than the next. Inspiration houses wares by Mooi, Front Design, B&B Italia, Fendi Casa,and de Sede, among other more mid range brands like Bo Concept and Natuzzi. It's like a who's who for the uber rich decor set.

Do you have any idea how much a new de Sede Endless sofa costs? Now, I have been in love with this sofa from way back -- check my credentials here -- but I'm just going to put it out of my mind because it costs FIFTY THOUSAND dollars. Yep. $50,0000. My youngest brother was totally nonplussed by this information, and already has plans to buy up the entire showroom once he makes his first billion.

Meanwhile, my other brother was utterly appalled by the prices. Coming at it from a woodworker/craftsman's perspective, he just couldn't reconcile $16,000 for a Fendi chandelier or $20,000 for a Fendi crocodile embossed dining table with the cost of the materials or the time and effort that went into producing the pieces.

He probably wouldn't be into paying $1200 for a sparkly Fendi pillow, either, and I can't say I disagree with him on that point.

And then there's this $26,000 sofa that my mom is obsessed with. The back moves around the perimeter to form different seating configurations, which is cool, but the piece really isn't that big. I can't imagine paying $26,000 for such a wee little guy. Ok, if I had $26,000 to spend. Because I would probably buy a car instead. Scratch that -- I wouldn't even spend that much on a car.

Now I know I'm cheap and I get a thrill from scoring big off craigslist, and maybe it's just impoverished sour grapes on my part, but does this B&B Italia chair really have to cost $8,000? Because I kind of like it. But I doubt I would pay even $800 for a chair that you can't sit in on the showroom floor. I guess she's a delicate flower.

There were some "bargains," though. Maarten Baas' iconic, singed works were surprisingly affordable, as in the chandelier has less than four numbers in the price.

It was kind of an incredible experience to view all these ridiculously expensive pieces in the same location, because I don't think you could see a single thing I've written about in person in Austin. It was also rather depressing to realize that these lust worthy things -- things that Karly and I have written about and obsessed over for years -- are utterly unattainable for us regular folk.

If not us, then who buys this stuff? Well, not this thing -- I don't want to know who has $5000 to blow on a boxing glove chaise. Whoever buys that deserves to be punched in the ass.

Nice though it may be, who can afford to buy this?

Or this?

You know, who besides the (admittedly scrumptious) restaurant housed in the same complex that is furnished entirely by Mooi? (Aside: Wow! Butts!)

In response to my brother's perplexity, my sister in law remarked that what you're paying for is not necessarily the materials, but the design. I couldn't agree more, but I also have to wonder at the sanity of charging $50,000 for a couch in the midst of a huge recession. I mean, man I love that couch -- I want to marry it and have endless de Sede babies. Or, at least I did until I saw the price, but I have to say the sheer nerve of it kind of killed my boner. Which is not to say that I wouldn't snatch that puppy up if I found it on Craigslist.

Or, as Karly would say, if only it were a tenth of the price.

Breaking News: Outlet Shopping Found To Be Potentially Lethal

WOMAN, MAN AND BABY HELD HOSTAGE BY BAD PARKING AND OVERWHELMING SELECTION AT OUTLET MALL This weekend, a tragic confluence of heat, hunger and exhaustion, struck a local family while attempting to shop at a San Marcos outlet mall on Sunday. Apparently, they were unaware that shopping at the Tanger Outlet on a weekend could be incredibly hazardous to their health. When asked what had prompted such a dangerous excursion, they cited this deal, purchased by a friend at the Crate and Barrel outlet:

Although Central Texas is devoid of CB2 stores, the Crate and Barrel outlet does carry a number of returned CB2 pieces, including the Uno sectional which said friend purchased for significantly less than half price. After learning of her friend's purchase, the unidentified woman enticed her family to head south in search of this sofa:

The woman stated that she felt the possibility of encountering a CB2 Piazza sofa was worth the trip, and hoped to find a returned model for purchase at a lower price. In fact, there was a Piazza sofa at the Crate and Barrel outlet, but it seems the woman was upset to find that it looked nothing like the pictures in the magazine:

She said, "This is not the luxe, Euro styled sofa I have obsessed over for months! This is a lumpy piece of [curses] that looks and feels like a cheap, unfolded futon."

When asked if there were any redeeming factors to her otherwise foolhardy trip, she said, "Have you been to the Pottery Barn/Williams Sonoma/West Elm outlet? It's really really really big."

It appears that the Pottery Barn outlet carries a significant amount of home furnishings at a discount, but the woman did complain about the prices and quality. "The West Elm pieces were chipped and disfigured, the Pottery Barn couches looked stodgy and old, and the Williams Sonoma furniture is priced for the rich and famous. I mean, who would pay $2500 for a desk at an outlet mall?" She also indicated that there may be some contentious issues of taste:

She said, "Holy [curses]! Look at all that coral! Coral, I tell you! And LOBSTER PILLOWS!" [Emphasis added]

When asked how she survived such a treacherous trip fraught with heat, expensive yet tasteless furnishings, and angry family members, she replied, "Well, there was a guy who gave us a free beer. He said I looked really thirsty. Oh, and I bought a waffle maker. Waffles and beer! They pretty much saved the day."

Thankfully the situation seems to have been resolved peacefully and without any long term ill effects. Updates will be posted as we receive more details.