Holiday Gift Guide: Under a Billion

For the last few days Erin and I have been pounding the interweb pavement bringing you the best holiday gifts chump change can buy; but we know what you're really here for:  our billion dollar round up.  We spent lots of time finding the world's most exclusive items, Lucite Chanel Briefcases, Diamond Studded Fixed Gear Bikes, $320,000 prize cows, the list goes on.  But we realized, you know, if someone is going to drop a billion skrillas on their beloved, why not go with a gift that says "I think you're awesome and I want the whole world to know.  Forever." That's why we here at Design Crisis Headquarters are proud to offer the world's Most Exclusive, Most Expensive Holiday Gift Ever (fact).

For 1 billion dollars cash, you may purchase a life-long ad on design-crisis.com.  That's right!  Erin and I will continue blogging for the rest of our natural born lives in order to ensure that the whole world knows your BFF is totally awesome.  Want to promote her business?  Great!  Want to show a picture of her holding a baby kitten?  No Problem!  Whatever it is you want to share with the planet, this is your chance!  Act now, this special holiday offering won't last long.  After December 25th Design Crisis ad opportunities will revert to measly civilian rates with laughable 30-day contracts. To reserve your eternal ad on Design Crisis, contact us at hollaback@design-crisis.com today!

Holiday Gift Guide: Under $500

Ho Ho Ho, we're climbing the gift guide charts here at DC headquarters:  today we've made it to the under $500 category.  I'm hoping and preying that any of you taking notes have me on your list.  I mean, those $25 gifts were nice, but don't you really want to show me how much you care?  As Erin says, recession-schmession.  At least, I think she's said that.

You know I love gold.  and black.  and gold and black together.  So, basically, I'll be happy when you hand me any of these:

Love / Hate Convertible Chain Shades, $252

Suspiciously similar to D & G DXG Camcorder, $150

Lowrider Headphones, $128 (keeping my fingers crossed that you can find them in black.  or just all gold.  yes, all gold sounds good)

Loop Candelabra, $123  (I've been dreaming of owning one of these ever since Erin did This post)

Right out of my personal wish list: Pantone Color Bridge Set, $119

Ceramic Bubbles Candle Holder by Jaime Hayon, 387..... Euros (whont, whont)

Life Size Grazing Sheep, $448  (totally, completely, 100% worth the price) (seriously)

Equus Pedestal Bowl, $450  I wanted it for my table last year and, yes, I want it for my table again this year.

Humbert Throw by Missoni Home, $375

Park Planters, $100  You really should go to their site to check these out... most of the sculptures depict things you don't want to see in the park.  Think George Michael.  Got it?

Copenhagen Terrariums, $145 - $195  Perhaps these come with a handy guide explaining how to keep plants alive inside a sealed container unlike my vintage terrarium with, ahem, dead plants nestled under the plastic.

Braided Mixed Metal Chain Necklace, $120

Paper Cut art, $300

So there you go.  500 gifts for 500 dollars.  I mean, a few gifts for 500 dollars.  Whateves.  It really doesn't even matter at this point since tomorrow I'll be bringing you the ultimate, most mind blowing Christmas gift of your scene loving life.  Buckle Up.

Holiday Gift Guide: Under $100

Perhaps you are a shopping procrastinator -- one of those crazy people who get high off paying a gajillion bucks for overnight shipping from Amazon. Well, this week Karly and I are making it our mission in life to help you spend some skrillaz without resorting to praying for the Fedex god to have mercy on your feet dragging soul. Before you know it, Chrishannzakuh will be all up on you like white on rice, so get jiggy with it and put some ho ho ho in the holiday with one of these scintillating gifts.

$100 will buy a lot of shiny golden goodness. Clockwise from top left: Betseyville Lucky Stripes clutch $62 | Harry Allen Pig Bank $99 | Set of six gold forks $84 | Tobias Wong gold leafed porcelain cup and saucer set $75.

Super excellent limited edition 20x28 poster by art collective Jeanspezial $87.

Enormous switchboard poster for bebes or grownups who dream of flying $62.

Boys love toys (and girls do, too). Clockwise from top left: Recycled cassette tape tie is audible if you run a tape head over it $90 | Le Boombox bag comes with a built in amplifier $56 | Diana camera in pretty primary brights $99 | iKaraoke $60.

Amazing handcrafted leather rabbit mask by TomBanwell is good for the naughty and the nice. $69.

I wanna rock! Gold and silver Mini Modern stacking rings $90.

Cool jewels. Zipper necklace $69 | Painted silk necklace $75.

I am a wee bit obsessed with scarves. Reclaimed colorblock cashmere shawl by hautegoat $72 |  Necklush $62.

That's because scarves are AWESOME. Mohair shawl by sweetknitting $72.

He's baaaaack! Little Joseph is sure to warm the cockles of your heart with his sweet lovable creepy baby face $99.

I have had a major crush on these stacking Totem cups since I saw them here. Buy them. Ship them to me. $59.

Housewares in eyepopping colors make holiday entertaining fun. Vodka helps, too. Agate coasters $55 |  Eight piece nesting bowl set includes a colander and measuring cups $58.

Calling all ballers... Gold plated Recession Necklace $65. Just because you don't have a million bucks doesn't mean you have to look all scroungy and poor.

Alright highrollers, let's face it -- in this economy $100 is a lot of money. But hopefully you found the perfect something to tempt you to crack open the rusty old wallet and shower your family and friends with money love. And if you're really Scrooge Mcduck just aswim in gold coins, then tune in tomorrow for the Under $500 edition.

Recession? What recession?