Do Not Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

Hunny Bunny and I have been busting our collective arse to get a few projects going around nostra casa, and have FINALLY finished (or very nearly finished) the entry way that we've been fretting over since the day we moved in. Well, I've been fretting. HB is just my hunky hero who knocks out walls while I chew my fingernails as I imagine the imminent collapse of our roof. Happily, all went well, and my brand spankin' new digital camera just arrived so I documented this epic journey of hallway renovation for your viewing pleasure. Behold!

Remember when I posted all those wallpaper patterns for the ceiling? Well, I went all Wary Meyers on it instead. In case you don't remember what the hallway used to look like, I posted about it months and months ago, but here's the before picture:

I feel a little guilty about posting those pictures to compare because my new camera is infinitely better than the old one, but I don't feel THAT bad... at least you can see that the old hallway 1) Was very brown 2) Had a weirdo faux wall thing that separated the entry from the dining room 3) Was very brown. That picture is so ugly, I want to delete it right now, but it tells of an odyssey to separate the wheat from the chaff, good from evil, brown from not brown. So I can't

After we I decided that everything about the entry (except the door) was unsalvageable, HB went up into the attic to make sure the beams weren't load bearing, and that we could actually knock that wall disaster out.

I kind of wish I had never seen this, because now I'm more than a little afeared that a two headed aluminum Chimera lives in our house... But hark! No beams! Kids, you should always brave the monsters that live in the attic before you saw down your walls. Or at least send someone expendable up to check for you. The seventh level of hell can be daunting.

Once we HB discerned that the coast was clear, it was time to strip the mangy wood veneer off the studs.

Are you sad that we demolished this paragon of beauty? Don't you wish we had just left it like this? Hellz no. Anon, it's time to cross the River Styx, and once you leave the shores, there is no return.

Only the strength and fortitude of our hero can save us now. Meanwhile, his other half is wringing her hands in despair. Right choice? Wrong choice? Purgatory is so draining.

What's that I see up ahead??? Could it be...?

HEAVEN.

Yes, one demolished wall, two coats of gray paint, new white ceiling paint, several bursts of golden goodness, door paint, trim paint, door hardware, new roman shade, new switchplate and dimmers later, It's DONE.

Except... I need some art.

As you can see from the dining room, there's a hole there. Does this complaint sound familiar? Since this little project cost a lot more than I would have thought, I'll be hanging a piece that I already own. So far, I have three serious contenders who must battle for my undying love. I'm trying to choose something relatively simple, but interesting (of course!).

Uno:

This is Good Old Neil, a photo that my pal Eric Belland made while we were but starry eyed graduate students. Neil is a ladies' man, sure to charm whosoever may cross our threshold.

Due:

This is a surrealish etching that my friend Peter made while we were in Hawaii, before he defected to SFAI. Chump. It's a pretty good print, though, and it shows some subtly naughty bits for our visitors to behold.

Tre:

You may remember Demon Boy, Spawn of Hades, from my last post. I think he might add that certain je ne sais quois to my entry. Also, he would thrust evildoers from our home after 3am, when they are most likely to inflict damage.

Thus ends our collective pilgrimage, but the work has only begun for HB and I. He is ecstatic about this fact. Nevertheless, I hope to regale you with new tales of decorating delights ASAP.

Word.

Art, not F'art

If it seems like I blog about art a lot, it's because I have a gaping hole in the middle of the biggest wall in my living room, the living room that I am redecorating again after only one year of home ownership. Hunny Bunny is very unhappy about this development. I seriously need some art because the hole is making the process slower than Christmas shopping with grandma. I mean, until I'm holding the room's centerpiece in my hot little hands, how will I know how to finish the rest of it??? As evidenced by the superfluous question marks, I'm feeling a trifle impatient about the whole situation. Of course I already have a googleplex photos and paintings hanging out at home, but I'm sick of them all. Probably because I made most of them. But also because some of them suck. So when I saw this on My Love For You is a Stampede of Horses, I felt like a sweet ray of light had shone down upon me from the heavens above.

Or perhaps it was a moonbeam from an apocalyptic wasteland. Either way, Hilary Pecis' work currently on exhibit at the Receiver Gallery in San Francisco makes me want to find a black market for that pesky extra kidney I've been lugging around for years. There are diamonds in her paintings!

Ok, maybe just magazine pictures of diamonds, but still! When I first looked at her work, it reminded me of Leslie Shows' giant paintings, which I encountered on a studio tour of CCA years ago. I LOVE her titles; this one is called Brine Pipes:

Pecis and Shows both make large scale works that are painstakingly collaged from tiny scraps of magazines and then over painted in certain areas. Both of them deal with industrial/apocalyptic wastelands, and Surprise! Pecis is a CCA alum, too, so there must be something in the water over there. Perhaps it's nasty Dredge:

I saw these works in person, and they're so much more impressive when you can stand in front of them and count the hours that inevitably went into the making of such a piece. I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork every time I think about the fact that I probably could have bought a piece off her when I was standing in her tiny, dirty, mangy grad student cubicle. It's way too late now.

One more just because I love them so much. This one is called The Arrangement of Salts and Metals By Properties. Pretty and smart. Le sigh.

It's a good thing I encountered Pecis' work when I did, because I was on the verge of attempting to copy this:

God, I know that Andy Warhol's Rorschach paintings would look good on my wall, and I'm embarrassed to admit I got as far as pricing out canvases. It makes me feel dirty to even think about it, not because I feel guilty about ripping off Warhol's work (he's the original ripper, after all), but because IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO BUY OR MAKE ART BECAUSE IT MATCHES YOUR COUCH, or whatever. That is just F'art (faux art, as named by The Nerdy Fashionista).

But the gold Warhol painting at The Gramercy Hotel that I blogged about eons ago would be so, so perfect:

And talk about easy! Even I can pour some paint on a canvas and fold it in half. Sometimes when people snarkily suggest that a child could have done it, it's true. Like this painting in a Miles Redd designed room:

Ok, this one might be a bit more difficult for photographernotpainter Erin to get right, but it's so simple, and it looks so good with that color palette. New York School Abstract Expressionism has been struggling to fill my hole (ew!) even though I kind of hated that macho crap when I was but a skinny starving filthy grad student myself. Why, you may ask? Because I think those paintings are decorative. And that's a dirty word to an artist. But not to a decorator. Oh, the irony.

Camilla at Designalogue also helped to set me straight.

She did this fantastic post about art in interiors, and I thought this was far and away the sharpest set up. Oh, it just turned out to be her OWN HOME. Sheesh, that girl is good!

Alas, I am still on the lookout for the perfect, yet affordable, something to fill The Hole. Meanwhile, in search of art (and other things) Karly and I drove WAY out to the country this morning after we stayed up late and drank too much. We drove out past trailers overloaded with pink flamingos, like so far out we could practically hear the banjos in the distance, way, way far out to this crazy lady's house to look at some "awesome mid century retro furnishings and decor." Hm. After we waded through piles of rusty junk, herds of chicken, geese and guineas, past the eight dogs plus 10 puppies, I did find a weird old painting for $35. It's not THE piece, but it's A piece... of something.

Why oh why is demon baby's face blue, you are probably asking yourself. It may have something to do with this:

What the bleep is going on down there???

Nevermind, I don't need to know.

Leftover Animal Casserole

I'm stretching the animal theme pretty thin here, but I decided to keep it going after I saw the sad news that Japanese artist Nagi Noda died last week at the tender age of 35. Girlfriend loved her some animals, so today I'll serve up a few of my favorite mammalian leftovers in her honor. Since DC readers are a savvy bunch, you may already be familiar with her fabulously bizarre hair hats:

(Pictures via Hemmy). I would never, ever wear those (makes my tender little head itch just to think of it), but I would definitely hang them on my walls! Especially the lion, because I love me some kitties.

That's my new baby purse I got at the thriftstore for $3. I shall wear it out to the bars and if some loser gets a little too shmoozy, my leonine pal growl will at him and tell him to back the bleep off. Hunny Bunny should take note of this new development in interpursonal relationships. He could learn some things.

Continuing with the fancy felines, I also think this pillow from Design Public is pretty swell:

Alack! He is sold out (and also the wrong color), but perhaps Ross Menuez will read my mind and make me a special black and white version? Pretty please with animal crackers on top?

Don't worry; I try not discriminate against other species. That would make me a speciesist, and homey don't play that. I would play with this, though:

How adorable is this bear shaped padlock? AND the heart shaped chain??? Thanks to Sweet Dreams Security, I want to lock every single orifice in my house with this lil' cutie. I also think it would make a super gangsta style necklace, don't you? (via If It's Hip, It's Here)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch I've been searching for some bathroom hooks to hang my necklaces on. I think these Trophy Hangers from Phil Cuttance would do me up righteous.

Thanks, Raina, for the link! I love these little critters AND they're budget friendly!

If you're looking for something large and in charge for your home, Julia Lohmann is happy to oblige:

These headless leather cow benches are so life like, they're even named. Meet Rosel, Belina, Raul, Eileen, Carla, Elsa, and Radia. I think Elsa -- or is that Belina? -- wants to come home with you. Oh, I don't know. Is it wrong of me to say that all cows look alike?

I simply couldn't *bear* to leave you without sharing this:

Procreation is a biological imperative, yes? Well, the folks at Pentagram Designs think you need to know more about the sex lives of animals, and if you agree, you can trot on over to the Museum of Sex in New York and educate thyself.

Well, go on. I won't tell, but I'm not going to do it for you.