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The New York Times is running an article online about extravagant fish tanks: $200,000 tanks with $1000 monthly maintenance fees. What I find particularly jaw dropping about the story isn't the cost of the homeowner's decor, it's the fact that the homeowners consider fish decor in the first place. Fish are animals. They do not belong in little glass boxes and they do not exist to decorate your room or to amuse you. They are living creatures. And seriously, before I get a bunch of hate comments (I'm not changing my mind) yes, yes it is different from having a cat or a dog, both of which are allowed outside to roam and coexist in a mutually beneficial relationship of companionship with their care givers. I do not own a cat so that my living room looks prettier. In fact, my cats make my space look much worse, but I love them more than my things so I manage.
(sorry for the long disclaimer, I just really don't want to fend off hate comments today.)
The designers interviewed in the article note that aquariums answer the age old questions: “How do you humanize this space, how do you introduce natural elements? How do you make it feel like you’re not standing in a white, pristine, soul-less box?”
8 fish swimming endlessly around 2 rocks doesn't feel soulful to me. Fail.
The owners of this 6,000 pound, $200,000 suspended tank "get lost in it" at night rather than the television set. I'm so so glad that nature's creatures are able to provide you with endless entertainment.
It is noted that the owner's of this tank's other point of pride in their home is the tanning bed in the basement. Need I say more?
Ok, really, I'm sure there are lots of people who will disagree with me today. I'm sure several of you have aquariums and love your fishies and I'm sure you make great homes for them. And, no, they are not being hunted and eaten. I know there are several sides to the fish-in-home debate, and I could probably be persuaded to accept several of the gray areas, but the bottom line is that fish as decor creeps me out. Please try not to get too hatey today. Besides, this whole look is really 80s, and not in a good way. xoxo
As per your excellent suggestions, I have been feverishly scouring Craigslist for a credenza with sliding doors that will hide our fugly electronics. Last week, I found an insanely underpriced six foot long teak masterpiece that was practically located in my backyard (which matters because I am way too lazy to drive across town for even the bombest piece), but when I called it was gone. HELLFIRE. I am still obsessing about that stupid credenza, so note to CL sellers: delete your ads once items are sold, otherwise you are just a flagrant tease. Anyhoo, I thought I might toss a few goodies your way that I've noticed while searching for my own treasure. Hopefully there is something in here that will make you pee your pants with joy.
Let me tell you what makes me feel a lil leaky: Jack Lenor Larsen. I really love his vintage psychedelic prints, but you can be sure that the understated cobalt velvet upholstery on these fly chairs is still P.I.M.P. Buy them before a dealer (or I) get to them first. They're even close to my house... $150.
It's vintage 60s, it has a wooden frame (mahogany, according to the ad, but I doubt that is actually the case), and the upholstery is stupid good. Could it be a reupholstered Lafer on rosewood? Or is that the og fabric on walnut? Inquiring minds want to know. Buy it and tell me all about it. $300.
Vintage Wassily chairs "purchased decades ago at a Scandinavian store." $225 is not a bad price, but they have been reposted several times. Lowball these suckers.
Four shell chairs with Herman Miller bases, if you're into that kind of thing. $250 here.
Vintage chrome, lucite, and smoked glass, dinette. Change that upholstery, stat, and you've got yourself a winner. It's taking all my energy not to buy the set just for the chairs. $150 here.
80's black lacquer and brass bedroom set, made by Lane so it should be real wood under the lacquer. Comes with a six drawer dresser, vanity, corner unit, nightstand, and a full/queen headboard... All for $95. Say what??? That price is dumb. Snatch these puppies up for your disco shag coke pad.
Ok, this gem comes courtesy of a person that Karly and I can only refer to as troll lady -- I would recognize that filthy gravel trap of a yard anywhere. Friends, I shall never deal with the troll again (even though I see her EVERYWHERE around town, even at our very own garage sale), but if you do deal with her, don't take her meandering directions to her house in BFE for the gospel truth, and make sure you spray yourself for mosquitoes and chiggers. Also, I hope you like dogs and cats and chickens and geese and other wild animals. Motherbleeping chupacabra probably lives out there. It is a really cool coffee table, though -- reverse painted glass on iron, and a very nice size. $125. Check it out here, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Yep, it's that table. You know... THAT table. $99, which is half of what reasonable vintage dealers around town are currently charging. Offer less, because for some reason this gal has been up for a while. Buy it here.
Chintz is back, beeyotch! Even better when paired with woven rope end pieces. Such nice colors. This dude is a nice dealer, and he delivers. $300 here.
$50 for a two tiered, shapely glass and brass table that will go anywhere. Get it.
Is it wrong that I really like the cushion fabric? $35 here.
This fabric, however, is downright bilious. Someone PLEASE rescue these adorable Thonet cafe chairs (so hard to find with arms!) and rip that vile fringe off and burn it. $55 here, and consider your purchase to be a mission of mercy.
That's it for today's goodies -- get them while they're hot. I think I'd like to end with a little checklist for buying stuff n things off Craigslist:
DO:
Don't jack around -- leave your name, number, and email address, when responding to ads.
Follow up IMMEDIATELY, like within 2.2 seconds, if the seller responds.
Offer less than the listed price. Always. Well... almost always. Don't be an asshat.
Go look at this crap before you buy it.
Have a plan of action to pick up said crap. This may require requesting dimensions beforehand. Duh (and that is really a "duh" to myself).
DO NOT:
Offer less than the listed price in your email to the seller. Do your dickering in person.
Respond to the seller's ad with vague inquiries and possibilities. Save that fun for later.
Give anyone your address unless you're sure they will follow through on delivery. And that the sellers aren't psycho killers.
Buy anything from the troll lady. Ha! Just kidding... that's totally up to you. Sucker.
Practice safe craigslisting and see you dudes Friday!