Put the Ike in Ikea

Today marks day one of The Hunny's stupid week long business trip to LA, which means for the next five days it'll just be me and precious Baby Ike. Now I'm not a religious person, but I do believe I just crossed myself all Father, Son and Holy Ghost, style. Anyhoo, Karly promised to think about maybe possibly potentially accompanying me and the babe on an Ikea shopping spree this Friday, which would be Ike's second trip to Ikea although he visited at least 867 times in utero. In fact, we went so often while renovating the kitchen that we may have named our firstborn son after Ikea (he's going to love this story when he gets older). These days I can't just jet off to Austin's northernmost reaches whenever I feel like it -- I have to PLAN, so I think I'm going to get started by typing up my dreamboat shopping list. Some of these things might get boughten, and some of them might not. By Friday, I will probably be playing fast and loose with the credit card, but I can always claim delirium as an excuse.


Part Most of Ikea's allure lies in its flagrant cheapitude. Clockwise from top left: the Fado pendant light will be going over the kitchen sink (but you know I will be painting that hardware a bronzy gold), Gilda pillows for the living room, yet more Aina linen curtains to form a giant sexy curtain wall behind my bed, and loads of Elly dishtowels.

ikea charlotta

I have no use whatsoever for either of these new Ikea Charlotta fabrics, but I am in love, sweet love, with both of them, especially the Block print on the left.

ikea dekad

How adorable is Ikea's new Dekad alarm clock? As if I needed something other than Ike to help me wake up... Whatevs. For $5.99, it's coming home with mama.

ikea highchairs

The time has come for Ike to get a highchair, and I had been planning -- nay, counting -- on buying Ikea's Leopard chair on the left, but it got discontinued due to some supposed safety issues. DAMN IT. Now, instead of looking at a Casala inspired, ultra cool leopard, I'm going to have to settle for a wimpy old Antilop. Definitely not king of the jungle, but least it's cheap.

In other news, I have a pillow and blanket problem. Behold:


Cute stuff: Karlstad, super cheap Henny, and Gilda pillows in two different colors.

ikea blankets

My blanket fetish has been spurred to new heights by these inexpensive offerings. Clockwise from top left: Henny, Stoff in charcoal and natural, and Sticka.

ikea solig

ZOMG I want this so bad! The new Solig solar powered floor lamps are scorching hot.

ikea alseda

Ok, so what I really want is this dumb CB2 knit pouf thing, but it only comes in puke green. WHY CB2? WHYYYY? Must everything come in some kicky punch color? Would it kill you to make it in white or black or gray? Whatever. I plan to fill the gaping pouffle shaped hole in my life with Ikea's Alseda, which is A) not green and B) hella cheap. $29.99 -- take that, CB2 bitches!

I want a new bed, so I plan to peruse Ikea's offerings. So far, I'm interested in these fine specimens:

ikea malm

Queen of ubiquity, the Malm. Perhaps painted white?

ikea aneboda

I'm pretty intrigued by the Aneboda's shape, but I'm a little concerned about those screw things in the corners. Will this look like a cheap piece of crap?

ikea edland

And of course there is the super dreamy Edland, which would unfortunately draw the eye right up to the nursty faux wood grained ceiling fan over our bed. What? It gets hot in Texas.

Does anybody have one of these beds? Do they even make them in King sizes?

Speaking of cheap, what do you think about this:

ikea tranby

I'm a little embarrassed to even post the Tranby, but I've been looking for a pair of round mirrors for my living room and why the bleep is everything so expensive? I don't know about this, though... I kind of feel like it belongs at TJ Maxx.

And finally, IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! I need your help:

ikea rugs

We neeeeed a new rug, and I want something big, cheap and flatwoven, because I am sick to death of woolen tumbleweeds blowing through the house. Which of these Stockholm rugs do you prefer for my living room? The furniture has been rearranged, but the pieces are still the same. I'm worried that the triangle rug will be too busy, but will the striped one get dirty on the white parts? Plus everyone in the universe has the striped one -- should that disqualify it? Plus I'm not even sure that Ikea still makes the large 8.5 x 11 size. Does anyone know if they still carry it?

Ok, by my calculations I have spent approximately $3459 virtual dollars, and that doesn't even include all the cinnamon rolls and ice cream cones I plan to eat. Gotta trim the list down. What do you dudes like?