Animal Collective

Howdy kids, hope you all had a swell weekend! We spent the days doing yardwork and the nights eating and drinking yummy stuff, so it was mostly lovely and relaxing... and I am totally unprepared for the cold hard wall in my face that is Monday. Thank jeebus for Wallpaper Magazine, because they always have the most interesting spreads (when they aren't showcasing 20 pages in a row of disgusting albeit beautifully photographed raw steaks... although maybe that also qualifies as interesting?). Anyway, look at this:

wallpaper magazine animals

How about that Ligne Roset bed? Amazing! What's that you say -- something is obscuring your view of it? Oh yes. Giant taxidermied animals were obviously necessary to illustrate the hipster appeal of these fine furnishings.

wallpaper taxidermied animals

That Jaime Hayon chair is certainly foxy, though.

wallpaper taxidermied animals

If I only had 5 seconds to grab something out of this room, I'm not sure if I would yank the lamb away from gaping lupine jaws, or put that Herve Van Der Straeten console table under my coat and run for my ever loving life.

What do you think? Is Wallpaper too clever for its own good?

Or maybe just crazy like a fox?

How Many Canes is Too Many?

Lately my thoughts on design have been filled with more questions than answers:  Should i go with 2 small or one large coffee table?  Box-up, display, or hock the knickknacks I've been carting around for years?  And, most importantly, when to say when with a teddy bear colletion:

Psst, I'm pretty sure the answer is one.  Or a million.  Shit I don't even know.  I kinda sorta like how 80 gazillion raggedy bears create a textural, bizarre landscape in this otherwise simple space.  But then again, they're teddy bears.  And then we must consider that they are in the same home as these displays:

Someone likes collections.  On one hand I appreciate the restraint with which all these groupings are displayed.  Despite the fact that Mr. Homeowner also owns 452 canes and 347 magazines (my figures) the place is still pretty spiffy and looks nothing like the vintage shops most collector's homes resemble.  But, then again, these are canes and bears we're talking about here.

And glasses, let's not forget that we need 18 thousand glasses.  I saw a wide shot of this room and that cupboard is like 90 feet high, this is only a third of the glassware.  That bird is like head level to me if that helps put it into perspective.  Why not 4,000 birds you ask?  Fear not

For there are at least 782 quail on the premises.  And, if my design logic is correct these puppies are smack-dab behind teddy bear alley.

But, then again there is this Jesus on the Cross right below a fossilized fish, so there's that.

What do you say?  Are 433 canes appropriate?  Should I keep all those stupid knickknacks of mine?  And what about the double / single coffee table dilemma?  Sorry, you get no visual on that.  Go with your gut.

Safari Sabbatical

First of all, thanks for your kind comments expressing support for my waffling ways. Someday we'll buy a house, but not yet. I think. Anyway I'm pretty tired of thinking about the whole thing, and now Japan is melting down and the whole world is collapsing. That's really too heavy for a Monday, so let me just say that I've developed an unhealthy relationship with vacation fantasies to cope with all this crap. Where could I run away to? I did consider the circus, but I think I've found something much more interesting (and far less painful). Check out Giraffe Manor. You can run away with me.

I realize it kind of looks like I'm fantasizing about moving into Jumanji with Robin Williams and that would be 50 kinds of freaky, but this 1930's lodge in Nairobi is for real.

How awesome is this??? It makes me want to jump up and down and start squealing like a pig in heat.

Ike would go bonkers for this shit. Or maybe he would run away screaming... I give him 50/50 odds of having a good time, but this fantasy is really all about me.

Did I mention that the house is pretty amazing, too? It was built in the style of a Scottish hunting lodge. In Kenya.

That kind of sets off my anti imperialist alarm bells, but I'm ignoring them because I want to pet a giraffe from my window like all the other white ladies... no wait, I want a pet giraffe. Do they make tiny giraffes?

I think this Sharon Montrose print from 20x200 is pretty much the only way I'm going to turn fantasy into reality right now. Meanwhile, I'm starting a vacation fund. I'm sure Giraffe Manor is very inexpensive.

Who needs a new house, anyway?