The Hangover

It's been a long time since I've written a hangover post. About 9+9 months, to be exact. And I don't know what's more embarrassing -- that I am a mom with a hangover, or that it only took 3.5 drinks to take me to the bad place. Also it is WEDNESDAY morning. Whatever the case, I had a great time with my guest, but I'm glad Karly decided that we're not going to work as hard around here because Momma be tired. And cranky. And hungry for some greasy pizza. I really can't let this blog get between me and pizza, can I?

So I have some pretty pictures for you that I compiled last week when I was still sober and responsible. Just don't expect a lot of writing. Because that would take thinking. And thinking hurts.

volte flamestitch

Greg Natale

You know what I love? Flamestitch. Zig zags. Chevrons. Well, I usually love them, but today this picture is making my cerebellum itch. Not the most comfortable feeling.

volte flamestitch

M Design Interiors

volte flamestitch

Ruy Texeira

volte flamestitch

Wall stencil by Mark Chamberlain

mary macdonald

Mary MacDonald

volte flamestitch

NYT via Eye Spy

volte flamestitch

Osborne and Little Volte wallpaper

kelly wearstler

Kelly Wearstler

missoni home

Missoni Liuwa rug

volte flamestitch

M Design Interiors

Now please entertain me by letting me know how you feel about la flamestitch. Are you in for a little or a lot?

Just type your comment very quietly, please...

Got Money? Old Money

I am a bargain hunter. A recessionista. A hardcore frugal shopper through and through, down to my very pith and marrow. Without the holy trinity of Craigslist, Ebay and thrifting, I would own a rug, some pillows and sheets. Oh, and those all came from Overstock -- bought with internet coupons, of course. Most of the time, I get high off scoring big ticket items on a budget, but lately I've been feeling a little resentful of my staunchly middle class life. I kinda wish I was born rich. Hell, while I'm outing myself as a class traitor and a jackass, make that stinking, filthy rich.

old money

Simon Upton

Before I launch into this embarrassing ridiculousness, let me first apologize and say: World, I know how lucky I am to be solidly middle class. Really. I honestly, truly do. However, there is nothing like house hunting to give you a case of the green meanies. Once you really start looking, "I can make do" turns into "I want," and then "I NEED," super ultra fast. Ok, I'm done with the bourgeois guilt. Let's play: pretend we're rich old money. On a budget.

Step 1: You are probably going to need a Chesterfield sofa.

aristocrate sofa

Y'all, Chesterfield sofas are expen$ive. Coming in at under $1100 including shipping, this version from Zuo Modern won't (totally) break your piggy bank. Yes, the black is perfectly serviceable and moneyed, but the silver option would be Kapow Zing. Of course, bling like that is for tawdry nouveau richies, only. (Thanks, Raina, for the tip!)

Now, add in a couple of pastoral accessories and we're in business:

beth dow

Beth Dow 11x14 print, $50 at 20x200


Pendleton 5th Avenue Throw, $128. Looks so casual fancy you can practically smell the Benjamins stacked high in the safe behind Grandma's portrait.

Step 2: You definitely need an old family portrait. At least to hide the safe.

old money

Mads Morgensen

old money greg natale

Greg Natale

old money ilse crawford

Ilse Crawford

old money

Gunkelman Flesher

old money

Eye Spy

What's the matter? Don't have an antique oil painting of great great great grandfather Alistair McScarypants? Yeah, me neither. I come from a long line of farmers and drunken Irishmen, which is charming, but not so heavy on the heirlooms. How about a painting of your loyal servant in Grandpa's stead?

etsy pet portraits

Aw, Baxter never looked so handsome. Bonus: rich people love dogs! But don't bother getting Scruffy the pound puppy's portrait painted. Pedigree matters. Custom oil painted portraits of your pet by Johnspaintings on Etsy, $120.

Step 3: Get a pony. Preferably one that wins prizes and things. Or catches foxes.

simon upton old money

Simon Upton

What, fools? Did you think I was going to tell you how to buy a horse on the cheap? Sorry, I'm a blogger, not a magician. But I can direct you to these fine equine inspired products:


Wary Meyers Horse print, $75. Lewis and Wood Equus print wallpaper and fabric. Priced in pounds, so don't ask me how much it costs. I'm a blogger, not a mathematician. Oh, and don't forget to buy Karly's horse print. It's extra nice.

urban outfitters

Urban Outfitters Equestrian Rainboots, perfect for navigating horse poop and rain puddles, $48.

Step 4: You're going to need more wallpapered and upholstered prints. Way more prints.

francois halard

francois halard

old money

Francois Halard

lewis and wood

I will always have a soft spot for crazy scenic prints, but for the love of all that's British tinged Americana: no toile de jouy. This look is more English country or Connecticut Regency (yes, I just made that up) than Marie Antoinette. Lewis and Wood papers and fabrics keep the hunting look alive. Let's hope the foxes fare as well.

ikea hovas

Also, prints should swath everything that can be swathed. Ikea's Hovas chair is the perfect candidate for an obnoxious floral print. Plus at $499, it's keeping (most of) your hard earned, middle class money in the bank. Bonus: the slipcovers provide ready made patterns for all you folks with sewing skills. Kaching! That's the sound of all the money I just saved you.

elle decor old money

Elle Decor.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I kind of love the way it makes my eyes vibrate.

Step 5: Get an indoor pool.

diamond baratta

Diamond Baratta

No, your membership to the Y is not going to cut it. Rich people like to summer away... away from what, I'm not sure. Away from their mansions? Away from their servants and beautifully kept grounds? It defies logic, but there it is.

I'm afraid this is where I become markedly unhelpful. Dammit, y'all -- I'm a blogger, not a third generation investment banker, or an oil tycoon, or a Mayflower descendant. If I were, I'd invite you over to my indoor pool for cocktails and water polo. But you see, there are some things that just can't be faked in the quest to live like old money. Indoor pools -- along with owning your own airstrip, having a township named after your ancestors, or knowing how to play squash -- belong only in the provenance of the super duper rich.

Whatever. I don't need to be rich. I'll always have... something.

I'll let you know what that is as soon as I figure it out.

More Yves Klein Sightings

Maybe it's because my first decorating debacle was painting our living room Blue Tequila, but blue is not my favorite color. I know I'm in the minority, and I'm sure I'll have many opportunities to revisit that statement since turquoise is Pantone's color for the year, but for now I'm sticking to my story. Blue is sentimental. Flat. Candace Olsen. It just leaves me cold. There are exceptions to my personal ban on blue, though: Kelly Wearstler's Avalon Hotel, Raina's Newburyport Blue bedroom, and anything International Yves Klein Blue.

yves klein blue

Brown Davis

Those of you who have been reading this blog forever know I am OBSESSED with Yves Klein and his badass blue. Everyone else can read these posts I wrote 800 million years ago here and here and here. It's because IYKB is otherwordly. Klein Blue's super special combination of pigments vibrate with an intensity that most skimpy, wimpy blues lack. Would I paint my entire home IYKB? Well, no. I want to visit outer space, not live there.

yves klein blue

Christoph Theurer

A little touch of IYKB here and there would make me an intergalactic tourist, and that suits me just fine. I especially love Yves Klein's modern reinterpretation of classical sculptures, which are perennial favorites of well heeled collectors.

yves klein blue


Look expensive? That would be because they are HELLACIOUSLY expensive. Guess what's also expensive?

yves klein blue

Architectural Digest

A lucite coffee table chock full of Yves Klein Blue pixie dust. Oh, and this fancy pad belongs to Kevin Roberts, the CEO of Saatchi and Saatchi, so YES. The globe is also an Yves Klein piece, because homedude is crazyballs rich, that's why.

yves klein blue

Cote Maison via Lampshade

yves klein blue

Chicago Home Mag

1st Dibs has one for $24,000. Come on, you know you want it...

Of course nothing tops the rarity of Klein's Anthropometres paintings, since they represent the imprint of an experience and are not reproducible. In other words, Klein greased up some sexy babes with IYKB paint and drug them around a piece of paper. I smell an art project coming on...

yves klein blue

Walso Fernandez

klein poster

Aaron Hom

An Yves Klein poster is really more in my price point.

yves klein blue

Living Etc

Perhaps the best thing about IYKB is that it's just a color -- maybe Pantone 286, to be exact? Steal from the best. Get some shockingly blue paint and start spreading the sexy. Even that damn cardboard deer head looks better in Klein Blue.

yves klein blue


yves klein blue

Amanda Nisbet

studio ilse

Studio Ilse

yves klein blue

Damian Russell

Or if you're a fancy beast, they make blue upholstery, too.

yves klein blue

1st Dib owner Michael Bruno's Apartment

yves klein blue

Greg Natale

yves klein blue

Amie Weitzman

yves klein blue

Cote Maison

And of course, sometimes just a dab will do you.

Whew, dudes, did you see all those pictures? This post was a labor of love. As in, I literally feel like I just squeezed out a giant blue baby. But my obsession with IYKB deserved the full treatment, so I'm just going to pat and coo and love this big blue spawn, because he's such a handsome boy. Yes he is. Now, go forth and paint something Klein Blue. Make mama proud.