Turkey Lurkey

Happy Turkey Day, everyone! If you're reading this post, it's probably late at night and your bellies are full of stuffing and tryptophan. I'm going to keep it short since I'm in Texarkana visiting family, but I thought I would post some pictures from Thanksgiving last year, and you all can just imagine that I'm doing pretty much the same thing today.

bunkhouse

This is the bunkhouse at our farm, where we have Thanksgiving every year. Can you see where my design inspiration comes from?

tree

Our farm is about 450 acres of pecan trees. And cows. And some lakes. And a beach on the Red River. Except for the cows (and their patties) and the bird-sized mosquitoes, it's heaven on earth.

shed

Tractors and ATVs live in here. Yee haw!

chainsaws

Someone always has a new toy to play with, most of which make my Mamaw very nervous. But cuttin' stuff is fun.

shootin stuff

So is shootin' stuff.

gun

When it's too dark to shoot anymore, it's time to go home.

So what did you do today and where did you do it? Were there any exciting drunken family escapades? Please feel free to describe them in detail. I'm nothing if not nosy.

I'm Not a Chicken, You're a Turkey

Did you guys hear that tomorrow is Thanksgiving?  Yep, it is so.  In honor of this slightly bizarre holiday, today I'm going to take you on a photo tour of deluxe hotels in (wait for it)... Turkey! Yum. While it is true that I have put a moratorium on holiday travel, I think it will be just fine to take a virtual vacation to any of these fine resorts.  Race you to the pool!

The Adam & Eve Hotel, in Belek, Turkey

Looking for a little more Turkey in your Turkey?  Try the Marmara Bodrum Hotel in, where else? Marmara

Well, If you're going to fly all the way to Turkey, for crying out loud, you outta at least spend one night in Istanbul.  I suggest you stay at the Witt Suites:

And finally, if you totally want your face rocked off, stay at the Hillside Su Hotel in Antalya:

So, what does everyone say, shall we start a new Thanksgiving tradition?  I mean, really, no one actually likes turkey as a meal, perhaps next year we should all pack our bags and chow down on the real Turkey?

Have a Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Good Time

Tomorrow we leave town on our annual Thanksgiving pilgrimage. Every year my enormous family congregates at our farm near Texarkana, and we all enjoy good food, good company, and lots of redneckified activities, like ridin' four wheelers, burnin' stuff, and shootin' up a storm. I'm all about the four wheelers and any activities involving fire, but despite early indoctrination (I first shot a Glock at eight), I'm more than a little squeamish about guns. Because the only ass that's getting a cap busted in it is probably mine. Despite my misgivings, I really want to join in the fun. But I'm not even going to consider picking up a gun unless it looks like one of these:

guns

(via Xirdalium)

Because, you see, everything does not look better in black. In fact, many things look good in pink and aqua with leopard on top, and there ain't nothing that don't look better in gold. No kind of thing.

Even though I was an eight year old badass with the hard black heart of an assassin, as a 32 year old wussy I may need to slowly ease my way back into the game. You know, get my feet wet. Try on some training wheels for size.

hello kitty ak

(via Glamguns)

Pretty pink Hello Kitty knows how to make a girl feel soft and feminine, but everyone knows that bitch can fight when backed into a corner. Watch out for the claws when they come out! Pft!

Who am I kidding? I may need to start out even... slower. Like, really slow. Like, more decorative, less lethal, slow.

paper ak

(via A+R Store)

This paper AK-47 is probably a little more my speed. Pretty, but ineffectual. I'll look really cool while holding it, but self inflicted injuries will be kept to a minimum. Now we rollin! Dog.

Honestly, I kind of prefer the more old school weaponry. A little more Wild Wild West, with saloons and spurs, and weapons that aren't in the least automatic. Although the lack of modern medical technology is a definite minus for the accident prone. Wonder who that might be...

guns montage

Awwwww yeah. Bet you thought I forgot this was a design blog! What have we here? Winchester shot glasses from Amazon, which are potentially lethal in a totally different way; A pistol shaped remote control seen at Design Boner that my dad would kill for; the uber slick "Smoking Gun" via This Next; and Jonathan Adler's whimsical needlepoint pillow, adored by pistol packin' grandmas everywhere.

Of course, my newfound frippery would look fabulous against this old-school-meets-young-stunna backdrop:

thug stripe wallpaper

Designer Wallcovering carries Thug Stripe black and white gun wallpaper. Yes, please. And I have just the thing to cast a perfect, decoratively violent, glow upon it.

rock and royal

Rock and Royal (purveyors of the OG nefarious pirate ship chandelier) think that everything looks better under crystal, and they can glue, string, stitch, or wire it together in just about any configuration imaginable. I'm just not sure if I like the AK or the snub nosed pistol better:

rock and royal

Whereas the AK is sharp and pointy, the pistol is so soothing and unassuming. It says, "What, me? Dangerous? Never." Kind of like that douchebag boy you dated in high school, and you remember how that turned out. Alrighty, AK it is!

Or maybe I don't want any guns hanging over my head. They don't exactly connote the same sense of imminent death that, say, a guillotine might. Still, there are only a few wires keeping that barrel off my neck. Perhaps I'd be better off with something gravity bound.

philipe starck

I blogged about this super fly gold table lamp by Philippe Starck a hundred million years ago, but time has done little to assuage my lust. I like that the business end is pointed up. I like gold. I like fetishize guns. Enough said.

But if I'm being realistic, I'd probably get the most use (and street cred) out of this little number:

tequila flask

(via Trendhunter)

Everyone respects a gun-shaped flask full of tequila. Especially during the holidays.