A couple of weeks ago (back in the good old days when Erin was in town) we had Erin and Ben over for dinner, a couple several drinks into the night Erin and I started waxing poetic about how much we each really really want a Navajo rug. My husband, who grew up on an Indian Reservation, gave us a grossly overstated argument as to why we could never ever have one in our house. I don't really remember the slurred whirlwind of his verbal manifesto but I know it had something to do with the smell of mutton. Not only were Erin and I totally talked out of that which we had previously coveted, we were also inspired to start an entirely new column for our blog: Trendstoppers! (Currently accepting name suggestions) We all see it every day, be it pirate ship lamps (which I'm still not totally adverse to), hypercolor furniture, or X-rated decor, it's out there building momentum and, well, sometimes it just needs to be stopped before it starts. We need to lift the wool from atop the eyes of the greater populace and just say, hey, dudes, this shit ain't cool. Par example:
rendez-vous wallpaper by Atelier Blink
Maybe it's just that I'm bored of Damask, and even more bored of variations on Damask. Maybe I would like it better if the people were interacting with each other more, right now it's just a bunch of people doing (gasp) sexual acts floating independently on the canvas. While it's reaching for edgy and shocking, I've really only got one response: yawn.
Liquorice Cherry Wallpaper from the Paper Voyeur Line by DED
I do like this version of dirty wallpaper a bit better, I really appreciate that you have to look closely to even notice the erotic ladies. It's more thought out and less contrived than the Atelier Bank version. With Atelier Bank, you get the feeling that they expect to sell tickets to the show based on how many people stand outside the theater protesting. All shock, no design. Paper Voyeur brings a bit of style to the table but, well, I can't shake this as anything more than just a novelty that I'll want to rip down within six months days. Besides, the fact that 2 companies are making dirty wallpaper just makes the whole thing tired before it even has a chance to really get going.
The trend continues with this acrylic abomination:
I really can't begin to express how much I hate this chair. I can just hear the designer now, giving the obligatory argument about the female form. Just thinking about it makes me want to barf all over his entire collection of sketchbooks (which I'm sure are filled to the brink with poetry and torn out pictures of water collecting in gutters and plastic bags gently tumbling across the street) Now I need to barf all over this blog post. I have no problem with the female form, but I do have a problem with the sappy term female form. And with bad design. These chairs are literally butt ugly and remind me of what Maxx Headroom would have made if he had a sketchbook and a Chinese manufacturing plant.
Just to contradict myself (but also to prove the point that dirty minds are running rampant through our living rooms) I'll show you a sexy chair that I wouldn't mind sitting in:
The Perspective Chair by Pharrell Williams
Don't you just see how much sexier (and sooo much dirtier) this chair is than that woman-butt chair above? It's so much more clever as well. It's not all ass in your face, it's more like, hey, have a seat, woah, shocker!
I guess there has to be an exception to every rule.
At the end of the night, after we've all had too many drinks, it's probably best not to go home with the slutty decor, it's just a cheap thrill that you'll most certainly regret once the sun comes up in the morning. And it just might smell like mutton.