Our Horrid Room: A Design Confession

For the last six months I have been boldly waving the banner of good design across your computer monitors as though I were sent down from the very heavens with a design vision gifted by God himself.  Turns out that my horse just isn't so high and my ivory tower is a really really dingy shade of beige.  Since moving into our new pad in May, our bedroom decor has fallen somewhere on the design scale between squatter chic and dorm room contemporary.  We do have heat, but we are missing the sweet black-light posters, so I'd classify our joint as single dude minimalism.  The tides are turning and it's time for a revamp.  Don't you guys want to give me your advice and opinions?  Of course you do.   You may want to squint or grab a nearby blanket, this is scarier than freddy kruger wrapped in a poltergeist:

Alright.  There it is.  Ok, the hardest part is over.  Now, let's dissect:  Yes, that is my brand new, and oh-so-comfortable, king-sized mattress on the floor. Note the distinguished layer of plastic surrounding it underneath and on all four sides as to keep the mattress clean.  How about those sexy ceiling fans?  I'll sleep with one eye open because I know you all would just kill to have them for yourself.  (yuck!)  And, yes, those are freshly painted paint samples on the wall.  Let's take a gander at the floor plan so you can get a better grasp of the task at hand:

You can see that the room is HUGE.  The longest wall is 20 feet, the width is 18.  The ceilings vary from 10 feet to 14 feet.  We have a fireplace (with a disastrous tile job), a sliding glass door, and 3 windows.  Here are some close-ups.  (please don't leave me!!)

view from the bathroom door

view from fireplace, closet door: left; bathroom door: right

a second view from the fireplace, left door is entrance from living room

So.  Here's the plan:  EVERYTHING in the room is going.  Except the mattress, which is getting a-real-live-big-girl bed frame (more on that later).  All of the walls are being painted white, with the exception of the fireplace wall, it's going to be black.  Sanders helped first hand with the colors, so I'm feeling really solid about my choices:

In my room, the simply white is fresh and crisp, the black jack is a perfect, rich, deep black.

While I have a mental image for my room, I haven't found any others online that portray it perfectly, but here are a couple of inspiration rooms:

I love the mixture of solid black and black pattern in this room with the big pop of color on the bed.  I also like how the print on the bedspread mimics the pattern on the wall without matching perfectly.  Oh, and I LOVE that this room is virtually empty other than a sleeping spot.  I will have night stands and a chair or two but NO DRESSERS.

I also like the feel of this room:

Ok, actually, it's the big disco ball in the right corner that rocks my world.  I have designs for a singular gigantic tacky sequined throw pillow that will mimic this sort of trashy-glam look.

Matt is making us a simple white bed frame (sorry, no photo).  It is simple.  It is white.  It is perfect.  Oh, and it doesn't have those shin-destroyers running around the edges.  And it looks like it is hovering 6 inches above ground.  

My headboard will not be this color, but it will be this scale:

Stay tuned for instructions on how to make your own tufted headboard.  Matt will be making us night stands not-unlike the ones in the picture above.

Picture the headboard above in this fabric:

YES!  That is high-gloss white vinyl.  The perfect marriage of tackiness and sophistication.

Do you feel like our room is missing some bling?  Me too.  Let's try this:

My grandmother's mirror, currently residing in my mother's guest bedroom.  le plan is to hang it over the fireplace.  Seriously, don't you all just want to die?

What about fabrics?  Ok, I picked the world's ugliest fabric for my bedspread and I LOVE IT SO MUCH:

Need a close up? You're the boss:

Awww, it's a sweet little castle scene.  Isn't that kinda perfect for me?  And look! Hot pink!  Lime green! Electric blue!  Expect to see those colors popping up in little spots throughout the finished space.

But what about curtains?  Don't worry, dudes, I've got that covered:

I'll be using Thanksgiving break to construct myself 3 roman shades out of this lovely striped fabric. While you're chowing down on Turkey and treating the mall like it's the last place to buy water during Armageddon, remember to pour one out for me as I work my little fingers to the nub on my sewing machine.  If I manage to avoid carpel tunnel, I'll also be making one gigantic white curtain to hang over the sliding glass doors.

Finally, the room is going to need some finishing touches:

I will continue the 6" high baseboards that currently run throughout the house and will be mounting all of the doors on barn door tracks.  (The ones I have look a little different, but you get the picture).  Oh, and all the doors will be painted black.

That's the plan so far.  I still have a big-fat dead space over by the room entrance, just below the big window as that couch is hitting the road.  I want to put a small sitting area near the fireplace, so it seems strange to have a second sitting area there.  Any suggestions?

Some other things I'm still wrestling with:  bed-side lighting.  Hanging lamps or wall mounted?  Don't say table!!!  I also need to pick out an area rug, but I want to get everything in the room first.

So, that's that.  Give the gift of joy and hope this holiday season:  I would LOVE some input and ideas before cracking open the first can of paint.

We're totes homeowners... what to do now

OMG, so Matt and I just closed on this house last Tuesday and we're happy as a bunch of peas in a gold-leafed pod.  I've posted some pics of our new digs below, the outside is cushy with a big yard and a crazy front porch.  The color isn't my first choice (Matt loves it, of course.  But then again, he has no say).  The inside, however, is a massive fixer.  Ok, medium fixer.  

Our New Pad

It was built in 1984, and boy does the inside show it.  Did you see that hot mess of a tile job around the fire place?  Poor Matt spent 3 hours last night tearing it out.  We've also already ripped out the carpet, the baseboards and all those pesky carpet tacks.  Did you know that carpet is totes tacked to the concrete?  Scheesh!  Who want's carpeting that badly.  Gross, my eyes are bleeding.  So, I've enrolled Matt and I on team renovation, membership: 2.  Cross your fingers that he doesn't divorce me, at least not until the kitchen is remodeled.  I've been seeking inspiration across the entire world wide web and have found some glorious pieces of furniture, rooms I'm willing to kill my cat for and, of course, miles and miles of disgusting granite.  I know, dear readers, that you realize that granite is the avocado green of the millennium.  It is barfy and you should never ever touch it, look at it or breath near it.  

Jen Perkins over at Naughty Secretary Club has been posting some hot rooms on her blog and she's also started this magical flickr group the Practical Encyclopedia of Good Decorating and Home Improvement.  There are lots of badassical gems over there that I urge you to check out immediately.

I'm also pretty hyped up on this Jonathan Adler room right now.  It's a wee bit too minimal for me (where are all the creepy flea market treasures??) but the layout is almost identical to my living room and those crazy dog statues make me want to crawl under a well upholstered sofa and die for not thinking of them first.  


Jonathan Adler Living Room

 Jonathan, you make my heart sing.  For now, I have to go glamorously patch concrete holes.  I'm totally going to go all Naomi Campbell style on the renovations, so don't you even worry about me.