Pattern Recognition

When it comes to decorating, I can really be a schizophrenic nightmare. I am inundated with a thousand new ideas every day as I peruse the web, and while I would like to try them all out right NOW (because I am not a patient person), I'm honestly running out of space and money for these killer brainwaves. I cannot squeeze one more single thing into this modest mid century ranch house (not that I would ever let silly size constraints stop me), and if I repaint one more wall (again), the hubs will probably divorce me. So, it's a good thing I have this blog to turn to. Because if I didn't have an outlet for all my collected fantasies, I would probably go berserk and paint pink graffiti all over my couches. And while that idea is vaguely tempting, the less crazy part of me knows it would not end well.

Nicolas Mattheus

This is all a very long and protracted way of saying, Look! I like patterns! Alas, I have no room for them right now (plus I want to move so I'm in decorating limbo (which is actually, seriously more like the 7th level of hell)), but I'm going to take some mental lithium so we can hang out together and enjoy these pretty pictures that I have hoarded for a while. And I will try to restrain myself from plotting new ways of implementing these designs.

Reto Guntli

Greg Natale

Jason Loucas

Marie Claire Maison

Francois Halard

M Design Interiors

Elle Decor

SR Gambrel via Elle Decor

Francois Halard

The Boundary via Even Cleveland

Living Etc.

Maybe someone out there can put my fantasy plans into action, but don't tell me about it because I will be hatefully jealous of your decorating freedom. Just kidding, I would love to see your awesome super patterned hotness. Send me some pics and I might even post them.

Coffee Table Decor, and a Contest!

Ahhh, the holidays!  Here they come, are you ready?  I'm sure that between basting the turkey, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and polishing silverware, you'll be far too busy to take in some holiday reading.  However, I bet that as soon as your cousin's husband's daughter from his first marriage starts running around the room on a sugar high, you'll want nothing more than to retreat to a comfy guest bedroom with a glass of wine bottle of bourbon and a good book.  Enter, moi.  I've compiled a list of the best coffee-table books on the market today, all for you.  Enjoy. Oh, and try not to slip into a tryptophan coma. PS.  Stay tuned at the end of this broadcast for a contest that is sure to rock your bookshelf-in-need-of-decor life!

Geometric: Graphic Art and Pattern; Nicole and Petra Kapitza; available at Kapitza; images via creative review

If a picture is worth a thousand words, here is a rough paraphrase of what each of the images in this book are screaming:  "I am insane hand-made patterns.  I am beautiful.  Put me on your walls.  I will rock your world"

If, for some insane reason, sexy geometric patterns aren't you're thing, perhaps you'd rather see who's on the other end of the line when you make your 1-900# calls:

phonesex by Phillip Toledano

Intimate portraits of phone sex operators in their homes.  Be careful! One of them might be you!

Finished already?  No?  Need decor porn instead (that is what you're here for, right)?  Try these:

Japanese decor books (I have no idea what they're called) available here: Yvestown Shop

The lovely thing about these books - yes, I've actually touched their goodness first hand - is that they profile wacky interiors and exteriors of REAL people.  They are not always as glamorous as the shelter mag pictures we've become accustomed to, but, gosh dangit, those homes are in my budget.

Once you're done reading Japanese decor trends, how about you make some Japanese clothes?

Guess what?  I don't know what this is called either, but I found it here: Clementine's flickr

Ahhh, yes, the perfect coffee table book.  It's pretty, it looks like high-art, and your guests will never understand a word.  Love love love.

Ready to get back to decor?

How they work by 010 Publishers (image via yatzer)

A perfect opportunity to watch people more talented and productive than you while lounging on your sofa.  Bonus if you read this while eating a bag of chips.

If you need to feel better about yourself again, how about this little gem that profiles the interiors of brothels in Alemanha:

via Coisas de Maria

I know, I know, I could have done an entire post about this book alone.  Seriously, how rad are those rooms? You bitches know that I would live in any one of them.  Especially bottom left, swoon..

Ut-Oh, I smell a  fascist regime coming through to break up all our fun-time:

Faces of Evil : Faces of a Terrifying Dictatorship via cyanatrendland

Artist Hans Weishaupul created the faces of dictators over the past 100 years by compiling countless tiny, specially shot portraits of the citizens of the country the dictator ruled over.  Now, how's that for Dictator Chic?  This would be the perfect companion to my panther coffee table

And finally, because we are not living under a totalitarian regime, as promised, I give you, la contest:

In honor of her 35th birthday (she doesn't look a day over 29!) My good friend, Vickie Howell, is hosting a contest on her site.  Hooray!  She's giving away THIRTY FIVE BOOKS in honor of the big occasion.  Does this beat the 80's party she threw for her 30th? I don't know, but I think it's pretty darned awesome none-the-less.  You cats have until the 25th to score big, then it's light's out.

PS. I call 500 chairs!

I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends

Mamma's off to pick up a new set of wheels today, in honor of my big girl purchase, here are some pics of cars I had to pass up (damn those artsy scandinavians!)

zebra volvo

even though I'm getting a volvo (my 4th one in 14 years thankyouverymuch) unfortunately it's not one of these ferociously patterned beasts.  If I had a million dollars and / or the ability to pirate a cargo ship from sweden I'd probably pick the diagonal stripped one, you know, for subtlety:

volvo pattern

which would you choose?  come on, pretend you're lil Kim or Miriah Carey and really want to show the world your tacky side:


patterned volvos

Because, oddly enough, I have not mastered any of the Nordic languages, I really can't tell you much about these gems, except that they're only sold in the Netherlands.  Of course.

I'm pretty stoked on the (not so new) volvo I'm buying today, but once Michael Phelps is done all his press appearances (thanks for the round the clock updates, Nerdy Fashionista) he promised to buy me this:


sharpie lamborghini

what's that you say?  You can't tell that this Lamborghini is totally tricked out in sharpie graffiti?  Here are some close ups:

sharpie lamborghini

sharpie Lamborghini

photo's courtesy of VOD Cars flickr photo stream

Nerdy and I are going to look so hot when we pull up with Michael at the Goldbar (we won't even need that silly reservation)


PS.  Since you're probably procrastinating on this Friday afternoon,  you should totally check out the VOLVO site, they let you play decorate-your-car-party, you can pick patterns for the body, colors for the trim, as well as seat and rug colors... sort of like the vans site for people with money.