2013: Year of the Wrecking Ball

Yes, I am still alive. I know it may seem like I fell off the face of earth, but that's only because you don't follow me on pinterest. Ahhhh, pinterest. Is there any place easier to access with my left hand whilst the right shoves a boob in the baby's mouth at 5 am? Nay, I say there is not. And what pinterest is bringing me these days is tile envy. Major major tile envy.

Pinterest room.

My room.

I feel that I should defend the cleanliness of our grout -- it really is cleaner than it looks in the picture! I promise! Maybe it's wet or something??? -- but seriously, what's the point? Completely indefensible.

I would kill for those $1 black and white checkerboard tiles (set in a diamond pattern, please), and even the cheapo white square ceramic tiles behind the tub. I don't need fancy -- I need NEUTRAL. For heaven's sake, who thought greenish khaki (basically bile colored) tiles were flattering in a bathroom?

Oh, and let's not forget the kitchen.

What. The. What.

So this is how things break down: since we moved in I have either been sick and pregnant, on bedrest, or the caretaker of a newborn and a sassy three year old (they're still here -- just older). I did my best to transform the things I could with paint, curtains, fabric, etc., but there is some fundamental horribleness lurking in this house that must be demolished. The tile must die. The cabinets must be painted. A bowling ball might accidentally be dropped on the granite counters.

I need to win the lottery.

And/or maybe learn how to set tile.

In the meantime, I'm going to return periodically to take you on a tour of the cute rooms I have "finished," and probably you will be so wowed by my magnificent decorating and photography skills that you will hire me to help you do one of those things.

Won't someone think of the tile? For only the price of a cup of coffee a day it could be saved.

As long as that cup of coffee is a grande starbucks somethingccino with 24k gold sprinkles on top, but who's counting.

It's good to be back.

Happy New Year!

Big Booty Wood

Apologies for not giving y'all the attention you so richly deserve, especially since I truly appreciate all the feedback and comments you've offered on our quest for the perfect floors. Let me just say that I'm so busy I can barely remember my name anymore. Having our house on the market has been INSANE. Like, we don't live here anymore insane. I barely have internet access, we are surviving on salt and grease laden take out -- despite which I have lost several pounds from stress -- and Ike isn't sure where to call home. Still we've managed to decide on flooring. Drum roll please...

It's engineered white oak in a 6" strip with a natural, matte finish. I'm hoping it will look like this floor:

Because that floor is sex on a stick.

I was (ok, and still am) more than a little worried about the wide plank, but it was the best quality material I could afford and that's the only size it came in. Luckily a kind commenter directed me to these floors, which have renewed my lust for big booty planks:

Freaking orgasmic, I tell you. Dinesen makes some of the most fabulous flooring I've ever seen, but I'm betting the farm that it's waaaay more pricey than what I bought.

Those boards are ridiculously long, and look at how little variation there is... gajillion dollar floors for sure.

I'm still a little nervous that I might tire of the bigger is better look, but these photos are going a long way towards convincing me otherwise.

What do you think? Fat or skinny?

Woodn't You Like to help Me?

I have spent hours poring over flooring. My eyes have turned to tired squinty slits and my brain can no longer discriminate between oak and stained hickory. My plans to install solid white oak and have it site finished have been dashed by a dastardly concrete floor... and our pocketbook. I'm starting to think wood should be traded on the NYSE.

I'm suffering from wood overload.

I need someone to tell me what to buy: white oak, red oak, stained hickory, brazilian walnut, etc etc. Dark, light, in between. Gloss, semi gloss or low sheen. Thin strip or wide plank.


I'm drowning in a sea of trees.