I'm Excited About... Carpet

Your comments and feedback have been the wind beneath my wings, yet I have repaid you with petulance and neglect. All I can say is that it's 100% nutz up in here, what with trying to sell our dopey old house (actually it's awesome -- I'm just getting tired of this shit), destroying my back, plus choosing paint, wood, and carpet all in the span of a week or two. That's right -- I said the C word. Because when I saw the numbers attached to my fabulous wood floors, I decided to do carpet in the upstairs bedrooms. And let me tell you what: carpet has been the easiest choice of all. Not only that, but I'm kind of in a fever for the flavor.

Sorry to repost this old picture, but hopefully you won't remember my musings on carpet way back when, so this is all fresh and clean like a summer's eve to you. I was considering getting seagrass or sisal installed wall to wall, but the price scared me. Well, that and the texture -- harsh like a bag of stems and seeds.

Anyhoodle, I'm getting something that looks a lot lot lot like sisal -- so much so that it's even called "Sisal" -- but it's carpet. Soft, delicious carpet.

In case you are concerned for my mental health, rest assured that the effects of huffing paint fumes are known to be totally reversible.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Headed out to play paint party with Karlyface. Updates tomorrow.

Thanks for your continuing support of Paint Color Waffler's Nonanonymous.

Carpet Puncher

Is there anything less appealing than sculpted, 30 year old carpet in mottled shades of hamster hair brown and band aid beige? True, the latest house for sale that The Hunny and I toured was not as spectacular a fail as the house with a tree growing through the middle of the kitchen, but it had its own share of disgusting idiosyncrasies. Carpet, carpet everywhere -- in the living areas, the hallways, the bedrooms, even the bathrooms (shudder). As I walked from room to room I felt the gentle crunch underfoot of 30 years worth of dirt, skin and dog hair, and even though I could see past the home's prairie wallpaper, its frilly curtains, cheap plywood cabinets, even its popcorn ceilings, the carpet raised my hackles and left me with a scratchy, hairball feeling in the back of my throat. I wanted to rip that shit out in a rage and punch it in its face.

ugly house

Doesn't this carpet look like dog farts?

Sadly, we are not highrollers. But we want a big house in a good neighborhood with a huge, wooded yard. For cheap. So we're probably going to have to fix up whatever we buy, and flooring will most likely top the list. Although we're passing on the farty carpet house, it did get me to thinking: what if we did buy it and renovate? What would we replace 2500 sq ft of carpet with? Hardwoods are expensive, but to me they're worth putting in living areas. But what about the bedrooms?

What about... carpet?

sisal carpet

This isn't so bad, is it?

sisal carpet

Not my favorite bedroom in the world, but I don't hate the sisal at all.

sisal carpet

And it's not like I couldn't layer other rugs over it. Ok, maybe not the zebra...

sisal carpet

But this doesn't make me angry (just pretend the sisal runs wall to wall -- you can do it, mental giants). And carpet would be cheaper than wood, right? Well, probably not the carpet I would want...

kelly wearstler

I would not kick Kelly Wearstler's carpet out of my bedroom.

kelly wearstler

Or could you imagine having something like this running wall to wall in your bedroom? Kelly Wearstler's guest house makes me want to swathe everything in neutral patterns.

mary macdonald

If you really had vision (and money to burn), you could even go super bold, like the wall to wall carpet in this Mary MacDonald room.


Hey, did I malign sculpted carpet earlier? Perhaps it's not so bad after all.

So, what do y'all think about carpet? Could it ever look modern? How about in a super nice sculpted berber or a sisal? Does anyone out there have fancy carpet? Did it cost 500 zillion dollars?

Am I crazy for even thinking about this?

Cut a Rug

Even though summer is coming and cool, bare floors are perfect for hot Texas temperatures, I've been thinking about rugs a lot. There's nary a stitch of carpet in our house and I like it that way, but I have a feeling baby will not. There's no way I'm installing carpet over our gorgeous wood floors, but I have the overwhelming urge to pad every flat surface in some sort of thick woolen coating. Kind of like this waiting area designed by Tjep:

tjep rugs

Sorry about the bad picture, but are you not sorely tempted to create your very own padded cell from Persian rugs? No more fretting over paint colors or furniture choices, just tell the carpet store you'll take everything they've got in Tabriz, including this guy from Hannes Grebin:

hannes grebin rug

Holy bejeesus, I totally want to start cutting up all my ugly rugs in bizarre shapes and then sewing fringe on the edges. It would solve my everlasting boredom with rectangles problem, while still allowing me to escape from the ubiquitous animal shaped rug (Cows, zebras and ponies, I prefer to see you in your natural state -- no need to undress for me).

richard hutten

Despite disparaging the rectangle, I wouldn't kick this sexy number out of the bedroom. Can you believe the peeps over at AT panned the Downloading Rug by Richard Hutten? Oh well. More for me. Still, I'm not sure baby would appreciate the sense of humor inherent in Hutten's rug -- unless he takes after daddy and is born a baby computer genius. Hopefully he won't take after mommy's swiss cheese brain.

fun on the floor

Somehow I am thinking baby would prefer for me to cover everything in bright bespoke carpet, like this townhouse decorated by Danielle at Fun on the Floor. I actually think the stairs are super cuteamous, but sorry, baby -- ain't got no stairs.

Meanwhile, mommy has some rugs picked out, but they aren't exactly kid friendly.

dan golden

Oh, Dan Golden's rugs make me laugh! It's a good thing his area rugs cost upwards of $13,000, otherwise I'm not sure I could stop myself from buying one.

roadkill rug

And then there's the Roadkill rug by Oooms. Since I'm pretty sure my entire house will look like this in a few years anyway, I figure might as well save my money and pick something else.

dacia manto

This super textural rug by Dacia Manto might make a good base for junior's creations. The neutral background will allow his jelly sculptures to stand out while the shaggy pile will add interest to the rest of the field. Plus I just really like this one.

timorous beasties rug

Did you know that Timorous Beasties -- makers of crazy wallpaper -- also makes rugs? Wait! I think I may have chosen a name for our son...

So, our own timorous beastie probably has some ideas of his own about rugs he'd like (to ruin).

laurens van wieringen

This foam rug by Laurens Van Wieringen is obviously kid approved. Plus it has the added bonuses of texture, pattern and color -- three known strategies to disguise peanut butter and puke.

nani marquina

Apparently, older, undie clad children who can't be bothered to put down the laptop enjoy staring at the melting icecap featured in Nanimarquina's Global Warming rug. Seriously, what is up with this picture?

dan golden

Another Dan Golden gem. This one's a bit more age appropriate. Of course, I still prefer his Morphine rug.

jennifer tee

How cute is this rug by Richard Niessen and Jennifer Tee? This would truly, honestly look great in the nursery, but I shudder to even contemplate its cost. I'm not too bummed, though, because although I love this rug, it's not even my favorite one.

I've pretty much decided on Dialogue, by Anne Lykke:

anne lykke

That's right. Do I care that it looks like (and may actually be) a photoshopped image of a standard shag rug with a few moppets thrown on top? No, I do not. I would cover over my wood floors for this rug. Nevermind that the cat would get lost in a sea of wooly stands, or that we might lose the baby altogether, it looks so soft. And simple. And that sounds good right now.