Weight Watchers

It's the New Year and resolutions are rolling in. Most everyone has decided to start a new diet and exercise program (myself included), which is not surprising considering all of the confusing signals the media sends us. Don't you love seeing rail thin celebrities juxtaposed against muffin tops and love handles on magazine covers? Meanwhile, the TV is coercing you to stop by Pizza Hut for a Super Colossal Meat Meltdown on your way back from a vain attempt to squeeze yourself into those 00 skinny jeans. And so the bottom line is that we're all really HUNGRY, but none of us want to look like this:

charlotte kingsworth

And all of us want to look like this:

conran thonet chairs

On the top you've got Charlotte Kingsnorth's award-winning One chair, modeled after the stunningly fleshy paintings of Saatchi favorite Jenny Saville, while on the bottom you have an extremely attenuated Thonet chair, modified by Martino Gamper for the Conran Shop. True -- one may be more elegant. But the other looks a hell of a lot more comfortable. Nothing wrong with a little extra padding, right?

pabo reinoso

Alas, it seems the fashion industry has other plans for our bodies. Must we starve our forms into utter weightlessness? Pablo Reinoso seems to think so, as evinced by his Pret-A-Thonet series, also seen in Karly's post here.

pablo reinoso

With his all too innocently titled Summerhouse, Reinoso sells skinny by seducing us with the ethereal quality of long limbs so painfully thin they function like pliable spaghetti. Mmmm.... thinking about spaghetti makes me hungry.


Those who resist the temptation to assuage their hunger pangs with dubiously nutritious pasta, chocolate Ho Ho's and delectable french toast, may be rewarded with less heft, but at what cost, I say? Starvation leads to brittle bones and an unhealthy physique. For proof, see the Missing Chairs above, designed by Nobody&co.

tango chairs

tango chairs

Obviously, improper nutrition will turn you into a wimp who buckles under the slightest pressure. Even their creator, Ante Vojnovic, imagines these statement-making skinny minnies to be "non-functional." I don't know about you, but I have to work. And walk. And be functional and stuff.

pablo reinoso

And let's not forget there's a dark side to dieting: all that extra skin has gotta go somewhere. Reinoso shows that with no fatty flesh underneath to buoy it up, scrawny skin is likely to sag south.

Shall we then head the opposite direction and stuff ourselves silly, bloating our bodies to maximum capacity?

obese eames chair

That approach seems a smidge problematic, as well. To wit, this classic Eames Chair reworked by Mark Wentzel -- once perfectly proportioned with ass room to spare -- might want to lay off the Cheetos. Otherwise it could forever remain an XLounge.

What to do, then? Diet, exercise, binge, purge, starve?

thonet knot

Anxiety only makes it worse, so don't tie yourself in a pretzel-shaped knot worrying about it, like this Thonet chair. Yum, I love hot, squishy, salty pretzels with mustard on top...

It seems that the only possible hope for health lies in balance.

gamper martino

This example from Gamper Martino's 100 Chairs in 100 Days series serves as a lesson: there will always be a skinny bitch wrestling a, uh... somewhat less skinny bitch inside us all. All that wrestling may involve mud chocolate pudding and bikinis. It could get ugly, but don't despair.

frank willems

Frank Willems reminds us with his Madam Rubens Collection that not everyone has the same definition of beauty. It's all subjective, yo. So if we're all feeling a touch Rubenesque ourselves from the holiday cakes and pies and scrumptious cookies (and mashed potatoes and casserole and stuffing [it can't be good for you if it's called STUFFING, right?!]), well, give yourself a break. A little extra sqush adds to da swish, and a pair of shapely legs never hurt anyone.

Girl, You Trippin

When it comes to home decor, I have 2 basic rules: 1. Form should follow function and 2. Everything looks better with a couple coats of gold spray paint. I generally shy away from pieces that are quirky for quirky's sake and stick to the basics, items like gold panther cocktail tables (see rule #2). However, every once in a while a clever design crosses my radar that is perfectly simple in it's design yet evokes an element of the surreal that screams please take me home and love me forever.

Pike Bergmans' voluminous bulb would make a perfect reading light for Salvador Dali while Thelermont Hupton's Blown Up lamps are geared up to send any hippy into an acid trip nightmare.  I really wish he'd called them Dog and Lamb On a Stick, though.  

A-hoy hoy, Andre Breton calling!  Le Telephon from Sunday land makes me want to give 1920 a call alerting them that, almost 90 years later, their predominate art movement is still alive and well.  Perhaps I could even award the surrealist forefathers with this Best In Show Mirror by Phil Cuttance?  Or maybe I could extend my ridiculously long list of things to do by adding knock this sucker off somewhere near the top.  Wouldn't it look divine in my new bedroom?

While I do not condone trompe l'oil Tuscan frescos (never, ever!) I would be delighted to spend an evening with friends around Vanessa Su's table.  If we could figure out how it works.

After dining we could retire to the lounge for cocktails and all fight over the Today and Tomorrow sofa by Lila Jang:

I believe Erin showed you this before, but who doesn't want to see it again?  

Twists and turns seem to be all the rage in the surrealist furniture trend:

I love how Pablo Reinoso's Aluminum bench is typical on both sides with a seamlessly woven center creating just enough interest to remain thoughtful without being overwhelming.  On the less practical side is his Melting Thornet chair, which, admittedly, would rock on my porch.

If your littlest family member expresses interest in a drug and art induced lifestyle at an early age, you may want to jump start the revolution with this (ahem, $5,600) Accordian Dresser

Always the purveyors of trippy home furnishings, the ladies of Front Design have a dresser built to satisfy even the most ADD among us

The (cleverly named) Changing Cupboard rotates it's facade at regular intervals to constantly reflect a different pixel pattern.  Don't believe me?  Watch the first ever video posted on Design Crisis:

If your concerned that the cupboard may throw you into convulsions, you can still bring the drama while remaining static:

The Anne table by Gareth Neal cleverly hides a queen anne table inside a basic square structure, perfect for the (am I about to say this?) transitional home.

And now that I've used the term transitional home, I think it's best for me to quit for the day.