Let's Talk About My Retina Scarring Kitchen Cabinets

It's official. Today marks the third trimester of pregnancy and I have transformed overnight from cute, bouncy pregnant lady into shamu the whale -- beached and bleating out sad whale noises whilst flipping over and over in hopes of finding a comfortable side to lay on (hint: there isn't one). In other words I'm slowing down. So far we've painted most of the rooms -- and I've even painted one room twice (be gone, band aid office!) -- but at the very least we still have the baby nursery to paint and kitchen cabinets to tackle.

Ohhhh, the kitchen cabinets. Thanks a lot, you bossy bitches, for deluding me into thinking I can paint that crap. And I mean that in the nicest possible way :) :) :) Look! I am smiling! But seriously we are going to try to paint them in the next three to four weeks, before I totally wimp out and can only mail order window treatments and rugs and the like.

Ohmygod why... WHY! This kitchen was gutted about eight years ago, and while I don't expect it to look fresh as a daisy, I cannot for the love of jeebus understand why the homeowners installed custom honey oak cabinets. I do not hate wood cabinets -- darker or lighter would have been fine. But these are orange and wood grain striped like an angry tiger.

Here's a better view that shows the beautifully absent desk that Matt knocked out. My James Montish cerused oak hutch has since occupied the space, and it looks boss.

Now, let's talk about these cabinets. Some of you suggested a two tone look, with cream on top and taupey gray on bottom. That would be fine, but there is a floor to ceiling pantry wall that houses the fridge (taupey gray?) and a floor to ceiling double oven cabinet on the other side of the microwave. That one is attached to the upper cabinets, so not sure what to do about it if we go two tone.

You can see how that wall is configured in the MLS photo. My photos are more accurate colorwise.

Here's a shot of the counters. I think they read darker and a little warmer/yellower overall, but I wanted to make sure you could see all the different colors -- peachy rust, beige, taupe, medium and dark greens. The backsplash is sandy beige tile.

I would like for you to know I hate this kitchen so much that I've already priced out carrara marble counters ($55 sq/ft installed for 3cm slabs with eased edges), Ikea cabinets, and I'm plotting to run the living room wood floors into the kitchen and dinette...


I cannot undertake a reno of that scale before baby comes. Not to mention that we just bought a new car and ye olde bank account needs a while to recover.

And so friends, it's up to us to make this kitchen livable for the next year or two. What color should I paint my cabinets?

Maybe something like this?

Or darker and greener?

Or perhaps softer?

Two tone or not two tone?

Dare I paint the backsplash? It always seems to look nastily flat to me.

Ok, put on your thinking caps and give me your best and brightest advice.

I gotta get her done before baby is here.