While kids everywhere are cheering the end of teachers, books and dirty looks, as a grown up and ex-instructor, I find myself sniffing nostalgically at the very idea of school. Because, as dorky as it may sound, there is no way to describe how much I love learning new stuff. So when Brooklyn based coop 3rd Ward emailed DC to tell us all about their awesome summer class offerings, my heart leaped at the thought of taking welding, or bookbinding, or screen printing, or -- gasp!-- digital textile design (wiping the drool off my face).
Damn you, 3rd Ward, why aren't you in Austin? Well, this post will serve as a PSA for all you lucky New Yorkers, as well as inspiration for the rest of us. Don't just waste your summer away on silly activities like booze and swimming... Learn something, already!
So, 3rd Ward offers a brazillion classes that range from Vacation Bible School cheap to summer camp in the Poconos not so cheap. Clockwise from the top left, we have Digital Textile Design, Photoshop (which is apparently taught by mimes... just kidding, but that would be awesome!), Digital Bookmaking and Thermochromatic Embroidery. Huh, what? Apparently there is such a thing as wired embroidery thread that changes colors when a switch is flipped. I like the idea of having an electronic hat very, very much.
Once upon a time, I took a jewelry class, and for the first time in the history of my education, I hated my teacher. I would like a do over at 3rd Ward, please. Did you know you could cast jewelry from cuttlefish bones? Stinky, but fun.
I also took a welding class in grad school that changed my life. I went from confusing a socket wrench with a monkey wrench, to TIG welding like a rock star. Karlypants also took welding in school and we both agree that knowing how to use tools with confidence is totally empowering. Plus I feel that everything should be on casters, so this Welding Techniques for Sculpture and Furniture class would bring me one step closer to my plan of world domination on wheels.
For all my tool swagger, I can't wield a brush worth a damn, so it's unlikely I would find myself in the Oil Painting class. On the other hand, if they can teach me how to paint this sexy lady, I am so there.
Perhaps I should start with the Drawing From Chaos class... Although I am very distracted by the Handmade Skincare class. Knowing me, however, I would accidentally concoct a tincture of poison ivy instead of St John's Wort. Doh! I used to teach bookmaking, so maybe I'd be safest in the Bookbinding class. Yeah, I know -- way to stretch out of my comfort zone.
I am a very impatient lady, so I would consider taking the Extraordinary Embroidery class sponsored by Etsy to work on my sit still skillz.
This class wins the award for best title -- How To Make Crappy Stuff Awesome. Love it, love the concept. In fact, this class describes my theory for decorating: Step One - Collect trash. Step Two - Shrug? Step Three - Awesome! Ok, so maybe I should take the class, as I obviously need some help filling in the particulars for Step Two.
Finally, Business Plan Boot Camp is not to be missed. Because all the awesome crafts and art in the world will not market themselves. You gotta know how to pimp your wares. When I taught art, I ALWAYS recommended for art majors to minor in business. If you missed the business boat (like I did), then this class is for you.
So remember when I chastised you for boozing your summer away instead of spending your free time learnin' stuff? Well, if you can't set down that case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, consider taking the very informal Drink and Draw class on a Wednesday night at 3rd Ward. Because you know your drawings always look better when viewed through a haze of drunkenness. At least mine do.