There will be a lot of words in this post, so if you're just in it for the pretty pictures here are crowd pleasing samples from two recently completed projects:
I hope that helped your peepers. If you'd like to talk, read on. If you need more pictures, please mosey over to my portfolio.
As always I struggle with how to begin a post following such a lapse in communication. After eight years of blogging I'd say we are estranged old friends who aren't quite sure if things will be the same when we meet again. Gone are the days when I posted 700 pictures of my house in progress alongside a histrionic running commentary. I don't really have time for personal projects anymore, and I don't think my clients would appreciate me posting pictures of their homes, pleading "HELP!!!! Do I like Farrow and Ball Pointing or New White for the living room wall color?!?!" And besides, I already know the answer is Pointing (it almost always is) because by now I kind of actually know what I'm doing. Where is the fun in that?
To be honest, and I'd like to think I have operated honestly in this space over the years -- that I have come as close to being the real me as possible, that if you were to meet me you'd see that I really do talk like this (insert east Texas accent) -- I'm not sure how to write about my life in design anymore. But let me back up a little.
2015 was pretty badass. I can't lie, it felt good to win the Wayfair tastemaker award, to get published in Architectural Digest and Elle Decor and Domino (thanks, Loloi!), to feather my cap with Houzz accolades. I can say that I have worked really hard for years, that I have paid my dues, that I have studied and tried my darndest to deserve any opportunity that came my way. But let's face it, sometimes it's luck. Being in the right place at the right time is important.
All of this brings me to a weird transitional place where I feel mildly successful, yet wholly unpolished. I feel... vaguely fraudulent. When I hang around my truly successful friends and acquaintances I am maybe putting on a bit of a show, a masquerade designed to hide the tap dancing spazz inside. Because my guts are still screaming OMG!!! with jazz hands while outside I am pretending that I always move in these circles elegantly and without hesitation. It would be funny if it weren't so terrifying.
Meanwhile I have done probably six reels for TV shows that want me to be everything from an expert home flipper to a sassy bitch who may or may not have a heart of gold. Where is the show with real people doing real design projects? Don't producers know this job is plenty dramatic enough? Doesn't America want to see a tap dancing spazz who can decorate? Also can this show please be located in Austin?
So now I don't know what to make of the blog. Do I create a shiny veneer, designed to market my perfect career and life, brimming with affiliate links and how to posts, staged with beautifully lit photos of the products I am using and things you can buy? You wouldn't believe how much traffic I could generate that way. And the free stuff! There is so much out there for bloggers.
I know it works for other people, and good for them! But for whatever reason I don't think it's good for me.
Unless I could get a new refrigerator or range out of the deal... I would like to remodel my kitchen. I will totally sell my soul, my kidneys, and maybe even my children for free high end appliances. I guess everyone has their price.
Anyway, what should we talk about? The piles of tile stacked up on my washer and dryer, stranded samples that may or may not find their way into the 17 bathrooms and 8 kitchens I am currently designing? Almost everything I am working on right now is under construction, and that makes for some sad sack visuals. Plus all of my clothes are covered in dust, and it's just terribly unglamorous up in here.
Other problems that need solving include: finding a way to get more projects published, finding an office, finding a location for the next Holy Grail pop up shop in April, finding time to shoot multiple completed projects, finding any time at all, and getting my kids to eat better food.
All I'm asking for is total world domination without losing myself.
Can you help?