Redesigned Ditties: Baby Got Back

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at that art.It is so big. It looks like, one of those abstract expressionists. But, you know, who understands those art guys? They only paint things, because, they were like total alkies, 'kay? I mean, that art, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there!

I mean - whoa. Look! It's just so ... black!

I like big art and I can not lie You other sistas can't deny That when a big paintin' hangs in an itty bitty place With that color all in your face You get sprung, wanna write out a check Cause you're a lusty wanton wreck

This art ain't made for sharing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh canvas, I wanna get with you And take your picture My accountant tried to warn me But that shape you got makes me so horny

Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-stroke Been thinking about you since I woke Well, come home, please me 'Cause you ain't an average new piece

I've seen small paintings To hell with all them things

You're a net asset, Got me goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines Sayin' gallery walls are the thing Take the average woman and ask her that Art gotta pack much back

So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!) Does that painting match the carpet? (Hell yeah!) Then just take it! (Take it!) Take it! (Take it!) Trust your inner gut!

Baby got back!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo

[Nuevo Estilo, Miles Redd, Gary Hutton, Alex Katz, Marilyn Minter, Robert Motherwell, Pamplemousse, Elle Decor, OWI]

Redesigned Ditties: Legs

She's got legs, she knows how to use themHot for turned legs, I can't stop cruisin' them So good it's no wonder someone made them

Would you get five of them if you could only find them From victorian, to the fifties Vintage shines bright

She's walnut down to her nails She's got burl wood right up to her dovetail Every time I'm plannin' to put her to use

Everybody comes to me, to see if they can mooch She's so fine, she's all mine Go get your own tonight

She's got legs, she knows how to use them Hot for turned legs, I can't stop cruising them Cost more than a dime plus half of my mind

Stayed out all night thriftin' through time Oh, I want her, said I got to have her

That chair is all right, she's all right

Click to play the original version.

[Marie Olsson Nylander, Darryl carter, Babington Hotel, Skona Hem, Jessica Helgerson, Desire to Inspire]

Redesigned Ditties: Heart Of Glass

Once I had a love and you know it was brass

Soon turned out, had a heart of glass

You know I love gold bling, but now I find

It's not enough

I need more shine

Once I had a love and it was divine

Soon found out I lusted after light

It seemed like the real thing cuz brass is so bright

It's not enough

I need more shine

In between "what I find is pleasing" and "I'm feeling fine"

Love is so confusing

There's no need, I find

To choose between the two

Glass is just so good, it's changed my point of view

Lost inside this illumination and I love the light

It's the thing I'm wanting, it just feels so right

I could even live with chrome, yeah...

Yeah, riding high on love's true vintage light

Ooh ooh ooh whoa

Once I had a love and you know it was brass

Soon turned out, had a heart of glass

You know I love gold bling, but now I find

It's not enough

I need more shine

Ooh ooh whoa

Ooh ooh whoa

Ooh ooh whooooooooa